165
a poll of sorts about condom use : Swingers Discussion 451071031
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSafe Sexa poll of sorts about condom use
TOPIC: a poll of sorts about condom use
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 ... More 
Start   31 to 40 of 40 
User Details are only visible to members.
I wasn't suggesting not discussing it. I wasn't bashing new folks. I wasn't suggesting new folks don't have something to add. Those are your thoughts and words not mine.

I checked. The reference in question is on the first page. To avoid the arguing that will occur here as well... Suggest reading the beginning of the thread.

I was suggesting checking out the selected thread for the opinions being sought. Why? It's like an FAQ. Check there first. After there have been multiple threads on the same subject I get tired. That's my crime I admit it.

My post never referenced new people, their privilege to ask questions, nor did it insult anyone. Ad Nauseam doesn't refer to a person at all. It is descriptive of the topic only. This is your axe to grind not mine.

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
Username hidden
(2783 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
FORUMS > General Discussions > Swinger Advice > Risk vs Benefit decisions in swinging

This has been discussed before. Please see the following thread.

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
Username hidden
(2783 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Suggest looking at all the other threads that discuss this ad nauseam

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
Username hidden
(2783 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
goldbugles5,

I know I will sound like someone who does not have a fear of AIDS. I do and so should others. Is is a deadly serious disease. I just think that it is a wise person who really knows what the numbers are which equates to what the risks are. I myself came to question the statistics when I read an article that explained how in Africa most people are not tested for a positive HIV diagnosis. In Africa, is sufficient to have one or more SYMPTOMS of an HIV infection to be given a positive diagnosis. This includes a long lasting cough, fever, etc. Things that many other illnesses may cause. When I read that, I was shocked. I now take ALL HIV statistics more seriously and dig into them to see if they are being skewed for social, political or economic reasons.

You mentioned 'the exploding rates of HIV infection among heterosexual women and men'. This is the same mantra that was being spread in the 80's and 90's. Please name your source.

Yes, there are large PERCENTAGE increases in some minority populations. But, when you dig into the numbers, these are bi-sexual men hiding behind a heterosexual lifestyle due to the gay stigma.

Here is a source that shows the CDC has revised its own statistics and why it has done so:

www(.)sumeria(.)net(/)aids(/)revest.html

Henderson NV
 
 
Username hidden
(405 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
A little background: We have involved others in our sex life starting over 25 years ago, before we even new it was called swinging. Never used a condom back then.

We belonged to a swinger's social club in Denver for 2 years 22 years ago. We were very active and never used a condom. No one in the group of 80 couples used a condom back then, either. It was hot, wet, messy fun.

Pretty much quit the swinging scene because of HIV/AIDS when we moved to California 19 years ago but maintained contact with our swinger friends. We did have a couple of encounters with close friends with one exception. Used a condom with her because we did not know her complete sexual history.

Moved to Vegas, got back into swinging 3 years ago with VERY select couples and now we use a condom about half the time. All our partners tend to be other couples in their 50's who have been married to each other for 20+ years, like us. No bi-sexual men allowed. We feel, like us, the swinging couples we are friends with are in a very low risk group and we take the occasional risk with our eyes wide open.

In the late 80's and early 90's there was suppose to be 'an explosion' of HIV/AIDS in the heterosexual population. The sky was going to fall. That's why we basically quit swinging. Certainly, swingers would have been a big part of this explosion or at the very least, statistically measurable. In all the years we have been involved in this activity, we have yet to hear of a swinger with HIV/AIDS. Where's the heterosexual explosion? When you take away needle users, gay men, street hookers and hemophiliacs the statistics are very low numbers wise.

STD's are an extremely serious issue for anyone in this lifestyle and should not be taken lightly. But, we also feel you need to be fully educated about the subject and understand what the degree of risk is. Understanding helps to filter some of the shrillness you hear on this site.

On to the questions: 1. No, but using one is not an issue if requested.

2. No, but the increase in risk for unprotected oral exposure is extremely small, IMO.

3. When you say 'any' our response is 'not that we have been diagnosed with.' We have had several screenings over the years and nothing has been brought to our attention. But, the odds say we have or have had HPV just like most of the population.

We respect anyone's preference to use a condom and would never consider even suggesting they not ask us to use one. But, when we are with a couple that has been married for 30 years that are not bed post notchers, we will forego condom use if that is their preference also.

Henderson NV
 
 
Username hidden
(405 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Oral transmission of HIV is rare. A danger is if one has sensitive gums that are likely to be abraded from tooth-brushing or other open sores in the mouth.

However, sexually transmitted diseases are more easily transmittable orally.

Farmington MO
 
 
Username hidden
(36 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
HIV is scary, but with precautions actually easier to avoid contracting than some other STD's. More worrisome to me are chlamydia, human PPV, herpes and Hepatitis. Plus, let us not forget the old stand-by's gonnoreah and syphillis, which can be treated but syphillis has to be *caught* (as in to be treated most effectively) very early and the early symptoms are easily overlooked. Antibiotic resistant strains of many bacterial diseases are increasing.

When you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have ever had sex (Or shellfish ;-) ) with.

It behooves everyone to educate themselves about human reproduction and STD's and their methods of transmission and protection.

pup

Farmington MO
 
 
Username hidden
(36 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Yes, the general lack of education about STD's and safe(r) sex practices is sad. And it is not as though the information is hard to find. I wonder sometimes if some totally het couples still just feel fairly "safe", and haven't quite caught up to reality.

Oral sex can certainly be performed and enjoyed with condoms and dams or dam-like thingies (dental dams are dam-n expensive, but condoms and kitchen wrap can be adapted for use quite nicely). Lube comes flavored. Heck, *condoms* come flavored (not very well, but...),but the best tip I learned from a gay friend is to coat your hand well with your own saliva and just lube the condom up with that. Then the condom tastes like your own spit.

Nope, latex isn't the tastiest thing, but I'd rather have a few seconds of bitter taste than a potential lifetime of regret. The most excellent personal hygeine regimine will not protect you from viruses and bacteria that live in body fluids. You have only a person's word for the health status, unless you check papers and even then, yesterday's test results tell you nothing about a person's health or what (or who) they did last night. Mischief has a great post about all this somewhere else.

A person's risks are their own to take. But I will personally always choose to minimize every risk I can. pup

Farmington MO
 
 
Username hidden
(36 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Okay, re-read :-)

2. Not the exact same risks (for example, pregnancy) but by not using barriers during oral sex one certainly does run the risk of contracting (or spreading) STD's.

We have only had one or two people state a "no condoms" preference during early conversations. We decided we weren't compatible with those people.

I am very surprised when I see pictures of group sex or sex with a play partner without condoms. And that happens quite a bit. There actually was a couple recently that looked interesting (but we had not yet contacted them) until I saw pictures of them engaged in a play situation without a condom to be seen on anybody. Decided we weren't quite compatible with them either. pup

Farmington MO
 
 
Username hidden
(36 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
1. Yes. It's non-negotiable. 2. I'm sorry, I'm not entirely sure I understand the question. Probably a blonde moment on my part. I'll have to go read it again... 3. No.

pup

Farmington MO
 
 
Username hidden
(36 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 ... More 
Start   31 to 40 of 40 
TOPIC: a poll of sorts about condom use