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With Herpes : Swingers Discussion 171050101
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TOPIC: With Herpes
Created by: AzNakedSunFun
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hello all - David here in Phoenix. I'm a 25 year member of the Herpes Club and I'm wondering for the H'ers out there how much sucess they've had in finding other like-minded people in the same H boat?

I firmly believe there's some merry utopian-like group of Herpsters out there who are having the time of their lives....

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Been a year (plus a couple of months) since we started, and we started by making sure we had a full STD panel for all diseases done as a baseline before we started playing. We think that's important since they say that 90% of HSV-1/2 carriers never show symptoms. That way, if you only show positive after finding out that a play partner is symptomatic, but you don't have a previous test as a baseline , you can't be sure you got it from that partner or that you haven't been a carrier for years yourself.

For us, as an example, we'd just had full STD panels done in January, but played with a couple just a week after the panels were done. When the female play partner showed HSV-2 symptomatic 3 weeks later, we had just a targeted HSV-1/2 test done at 5 weeks (got to give those antibodies time to show) even though we'd just had the full set.

We've chosen to play carefully but even then it shows that it's a game of roulette, just with a lot more empty chambers if one takes the time to minimize one's exposure.

Trophy Club TX
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my apologies if my words offended anyone... term dirty test or being clean was what i was taught from test lab results being interpreted by doctor. Actually never thought of it as offensive. sorry.

Prescott AZ
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Not overly impressed with your use of the words "clean" and "dirty" in this context. There is nothing dirty about us nor anyone who may have HSV....yourselves included. :-)

Avondale AZ
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with regard to testing... yes both should frequently!!! and pay for it if you are worried for any reason, why be ashamed of your life choices???... honestly if you are in the lifestyle you owe itto yourself your partner and all you play with to be clean and current.. We have recently been through a month of absolute hell... we went for our blood tests and came back dirty for hsv 1 and 2. Some people say oh everybody gets cold sore (hsv 1) no big deal... well hsv is hsv 1 or 2 is just a location above the waist or below the waist and us lifestylers usually have our mouths everywhere so... long story short we used condoms we were picky about who we played with but guess not picky enough... and now the party is over for us and we got stuck with the tab. Anyone who plays in the lifestyle should be responsible enough to make sure you are clean. Not knowing or not wanting to know... just spreads it you can give the virus without having symptoms and even wearing a condom.. Truth! So if we decide to get back into our lifestyle practices we are going to have to find people already in our boat... already infected and living with this crap for the rest of their lives... We would not wish this on anyone... it is a big deal an outbreak is painful on your mouth and or on your genitals and yes you can hsv 1 on your genitals... so the stigma of hsv 2 is bull.....it is humiliating and the flu symptoms are real you feel like poo and it lasts for a couple of weeks. bonus!!! the medication generic brand is about $200. for 10 day treatment, unless you drive to Mexico and figure all that out!

It is really disappointing to us that "adults" who enter into the lifestyle do not think it through... it's not just about the sex... it is about sharing and respect and expressing your sexuality with people who get it... We have found there is a fewer number of those players in the lifestyle than the "playas" looking just to get some... caution... ya might get more than you bargained for... ya we know it won't happen to you!!!

We are still angry and will in time settle down and accept our situation, but as of now we are pissed, hurt and have been rejected by the same people who called us friends who fuck...... now we are just fucked as friends. It feels awful! Please go get tested for STDs and then for the good of everyone... be responsible about your results. We wish you clean tests and happy orgasms.

Puddles72

Prescott AZ
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I think the insurance company and doctor issues are separate. Regular STD testing does present itself as an actuarial risk if the insurance company is aware. You can tell your doctor, confidentially off the record, that you are in the lifestyle. If you happen to get an STD that requires management (like HIV), then perhaps it makes sense to bring that into your regular healthcare with insurance company obviously being aware of the treatment they are covering. Unless that very unfortunate situation develops, many might find it a better option to leave the insurance industry in the dark for a rather modest personal cost. Consider it a lifestyle tax. Never be complacent in the security of your current insurance plan. Things can change very quickly.

San Diego CA
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I wonder what disease did this kind of damage to this poor fellow's brain.

Chesapeake VA
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Living near Port Tampa, and experiencing the variety of people working for the cruise lines that sail the Eastern and Western Caribbean, we are aware of the high probability of disease infection, which our clinic doctor has told us creates a 'pandemic' culture.

Since Tampa also offers a prime swinging culture, very similar to that of southern California, anyone in the swinging lifestyle wants to limit their risk of infection from viruses brought to American shores by employees of the Caribbean Cruise enterprises.

Sexually transmitted diseases need to be considered a major factor in the 'swinging lifestyle,' and participants in the 'swinging lifestyle' need to know the nature of involvement of their potential swinging partners.

We tell, we ask, we assess the risk factors. We choose wisely.

Treasure Is FL
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I don't care if my doctor knows. I care if my insurance company knows.

Chesapeake VA
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I'm glad that my family has good health insurance and we don't feel the need to hide anything from our doctor. There are many other health risks that can be more expensive to treat than an STD worst case scenario... so what else would you not tell your doctor?

My father and his brothers all had cancer. My wife lost her brother to cancer, so my wife and I have a strong family history. We are in a high risk group for cancer, and our doctors have been ordering extra tests for years. 13 years ago, my wife was diagnosed with cancer and it was successfully treated because it was caught early.

If you have a family history for some illness (such as diabetes, heart disease, cancer) that would make you a higher risk patient, would you not tell your health care provider? Depression and anxiety are very common and can be a costly chronic illness. If you develop symptoms, would you hide them from your doctor out of fear that a psychiatric consult or being prescribed a psychotropic med could be a red flag to the "bean counters" at your insurance company.

If you had a positive result for an STD... I suppose you would not tell your doctor (might raise your insurance premium). So would you find another doctor and pay cash for your medical care and prescriptions? Also, would your spouse get an STD test or would you try to treat him/her empirically?

Is once a year testing adequate? Two MDs that I asked advised me to test four times a year if the frequency of swinging is once a month or more. It would be interesting to hear what other doctors recommend. STDs are more successfully cured/managed when caught early, and an STD may be present (and possible to spread) even when there are no symptoms. Also, if one person in a couple is tested, the result does count for their partner. If we had a positive test result, I can't imaging not letting our swinging friends know... but since apparently most swingers are not tested, I suppose a "maybe" is better than an "I don't know.'

Actually if you feel as though you can't tell your doctor about any issue pertaining to your health, your insurance is not only crappy, it's worthless.

Rather than the anonymous testing companies, I would recommend going to Planned Parenthood. Men, women and couples can be tested confidentially and you would also be counseled by a qualified health care professional. The fees (at least in my area) are less than the "double secret" test services. I also see that they have special programs... in April, our local Planned Parenthood is conducting free STD testing.

Gibsonia PA
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So far so good here too. Mr gets tested through work. Why can't someone come up with a drugstore test like they do w/ pregnancy and ovulation and A1C and blood glucose, etc? Maybe more people would be more careful.

We knew a couple in VA who had herpes and who ultimately posted it on their sls profile. Yes, they lost play partners. But we appreciated their honesty and while we didn't actively play sexually with them, we knew others who did and did so with protection.

It can be a scary world out there. Just as most of us would never think twice about not drinking and driving, all of us need to also never think twice about having sex with someone else without protection.

San Antonio TX
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TOPIC: With Herpes