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With Herpes : Swingers Discussion 1710501021
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TOPIC: With Herpes
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Wow - I am so glad to be reading this. I am SO annoyed with the general swingers I have met for saying they are D/D free (and have not been screened for herpes) and the general stigma that is attached with herpes in general. I was infected by swingers who were not responsible (either didn't tell me before hand or didn't know they were infected) and now I feel like I am screwed because of their negligence! I started a group 'swingers with HSV2' out of my general frustration and feeling a lack of support. I am glad to know there are others out there who have similar feelings as I do. I am being completely open (to a fault probably) on my profile. Since I have done this I am getting NO contacts and have actually been denied attendance at swinger parties. It is so upsetting to hear "we have never had problems in the X years we have been doing this" - YES YOU HAVE HAD PROBLEMS!! Statistically speaking 20% of your members have HSV (and I would argue lots more based on general behavior patterns). Ignorance is absolutely no excuse and I am largely dismayed by what I am seeing in this 'community' :-( I feel like I was screwed over by the swinger community and am now getting further screwed by trying to be ethical and then being completely shunned/rejected.

Shrewsbury MA
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I've been a herpster for 22 years and I'm not ashamed to admit it! :) I'll play with other herpsters if they visit wisconsin. Not many people in our area admit to it on their profile either, but admit to it in chat or email. I prefer to be open and honest. I'm not out to deceive anyone. I agree with the previous posters that there are probably a lot of people that have H and don't know it. What amazes me is how ignorant some people are. They think that they are "clean". I wonder how often they get tested. If someone created their profile 3 years ago and were clean then, but have played with 20 or 30 partners or even 2 or 3 partners, have never been retested and have never updated their profile, are they still "clean?" Ignorance really is bliss I guess! Long live the herpsters! :)

Oconomowoc WI
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jayd, a couple of things. Regarding the person who went and got tested and came back neg. If that person was newly exposed and got the antibody blood test it is very possible that they have HSV but have not had time for their body to develop the antibodies that test looks for. From the training video played at our AZ HSV support group, it can take 6 weeks for the antibodies to develop. Regarding passing H along when there's no OB (out break) or symptoms. There is something called viral shedding occurring approx 10% of the time. There's no symptoms during these events but you can pass it along and there's no knowing when the shedding is going on. The above info is from the HSV informational/support vid played at our support group. I am a 28 yr Herpster and my g/f has about 5 yrs.

Avondale AZ
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I was told by dermatologist I had genital herpes after i had an out break the most likely person and everyone I had been with said they did not have it, the most likely even went to be tested she said and was negative, had no more outbreaks for a long time like over a year maybe two years can't remember it's been that long since any problem so I though I could not spread it now I find out I may have given it to some one I care about and it's killing me ! no one seems to be able to say what the chances are that I have infected her. best I got was it's less than 50 % but we don't know how less. I can't believe the docs I saw did not inform me better, the derm. or a clinic doc who told me women could have it and not know. I don't know what I'll do if she turns out to have it now !!!! what makes it so worse is I did not even think abut it till after, I could have never told her and hoped for the best but how could I live with myself, it's hard enough now. Please get tested , and talk about it way ahead before things get hot.

Delaware OH
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People who test regularly are very much in the minority (IMHO). I know of only one couple out of a dozen friends who actually tested and it was only the wife who went in to get tested. Based on my experience and observations, I tend to believe the CDC statistics.

Albany OR
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Stats from our monthly H support group meeting via the CDC: One in 5 sexually active adults have HSV2 genitally - 85% do not know it because they have no symptoms and as it's been mentioned, you have to basically demand HSV be tested to get it done during the supposed "full" std panel. Never been tested for HSV...? You can add a 4th D to your DDD....Doudtful. :-)

Avondale AZ
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i too completely agree with you triplejackinga! That "we get tested for everything" bologna is annoying because most people aren't as educated as they need to be about STD testing. A lot of Drs "everything" doesn't include HSV!!

And on top of that people, DONT TRUST SWAB TESTS FOR HSV!! I have been test numerous times with a swab test (where they take samples of fluid from a bump) and they ALL have come up negative and this is the day the bump appears. I don't know if i don't shed the virus much or what. The only reason i know for sure im positive is through a blood test which i insisted on having because i had a gut feeling the bump i seen wasn't just a bump.

New Castle DE
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Triplejackinga ...Right on brother! Amen to what you said.If we may add...we feel what your saying and feeling...been there and we're living it.We def can feel your frustration. In time you'll get over those feelings....took us a while, we now realize how common it is...we have MANY cool play partners and judging by your profile we believe you will as well, Hey we'll be down your way late spring ...ya never know ??!!

Indianapolis IN
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To reiterate what "justenjoyinlife" stated, here's our situation:

I'm in my late 30s, as is she. Before meeting her a couple of years ago, I've always been single. Over the course of many years, always thinking I'm doing what I should be doing, by requesting a 'FULL STD SCREEN', I figured everything was fine.

Fast-forward to last Summer, and I was diagnosed with HSV-2. My better half became pregnant in Sept., and it was confirmed that she was positive as well. After reading up on the facts of HSV, and looking over my past 'FULL STD SCREENS', it just started to seriously piss me off that they don't test for this unless you specifically ask for it. What part of 'FULL STD SCREEN' excludes HSV?! I believe this is partly due to the cost of testing. I was told that some of the testing is more costly than other tests, which leads me to believe many of us have been forsaken in the name of the dollar.

So for all those people out there that think their shit don't stink, better check the results from your 'FULL STD SCREEN'....And for those of you that think you're 'DDD Free' because you never have any symptoms, again, do some reading. HSV is not the only STD in which there are often no symptoms at all.

Newnan GA
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I have recently changed my profile to full disclosure of mine and my bf's herpes. I'm not ashamed. I don't want to waste anyone's time or deceive anyone and I am hoping I can meet others in the area who have it and like to play. That's really the safest way for people with H to play I suppose. For the most part I'm not seeing many folks from Michigan. Disappointing. I know people from Michigan have it however, because I belong to support groups and fb groups that are local. In fact I was just at a support group event last night. It was strictly support though. Although my bf is always hoping we can recruit people to play, I don't want to mix those two parts of my life. :-) Hoping to meet more local swingers with H as well. Or open minded trusting individuals who will realize the my man and I will take every precaution possible to make it as safe and fun an experience as we are capable. :-) Peace...

Novi MI
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TOPIC: With Herpes