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What don't I get : Swingers Discussion 90047
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TOPIC: What don't I get
Created by: slipperywhenwet
Original Starting post for this thread:
I spend time reading these topics and get so confused by some profiles. Yes new to this and very unsure. Condoms a must. Perfect idea I agree. In the next paragraph they also want female on female play..love kissing ..oral sex and group sex..the list goes on.. etc..beyond jumping in a body size baggie before play.. wearing a condom does not keep you from catching something orally.. most stds transmit that way too. Am I wrong.. or maybe I should be picturing these group sex acts with everyone wrapped in saran wrap..lol just my thought for today....

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We try to be responsible, no matter what the data does or does not say... It's just common sense. Condoms always. But we did have a friend who broke his arm at a sleep over falling down a flight of stairs..Looking into a set of shin and elbow guards for us......LOL

Sanford NC
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I have never heard or read of HIV in the swinging community. That does just mean I have never heard or read about it, limited in its usefullness. But I am a voracious reader, especially about science and sexuality. I have read and seen a number of reports on swingers about how theoretically dangerous it is, how morally nasty it is, how they must harbor and spurt disease all over the place. Never any science, never anything documented. I, too, like Mischief take that to be further evidence that there is not much damning data out there or it would be publicized heavily.

Now if you wish to talk about cancer, I know personally four who have died who are personal acquaintainces and friends in a very rural area where I don't have many personal acquaintainces and friends. I didn't grow up in this area, only moved here ten years ago. These are people from my age down to 19 years old from my very limited circle. I know two from the same circle who have committed suicide and one who had a heart attack. All within the last four years.

Enosburg Falls VT
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Oh its there, just no one gives a shit what we do.

Destin FL
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Actually I haven't seen any data to support HIV in the swinging communities. Of course there have been folks who have contracted HIV and who also swing.

Destin..think of it this way. What better way to scare the shit out of the evil swinging community than to publicize an out break of HIV in their communities. What better way to bring us back into the monogamous fold. So why haven't we heard of these cases? There are enough folks who bare back. I contend because it hasn't happened. Just my synthesis on the matter.

BTW, I believe it* will happen. It just hasn't happened yet.

*It being a large outbreak of HIV infection in a sexually nonmonogamous heterosexual group. It could very well happen right here in Baltimore.

I just haven't seen it. It's still MSM, IVDU, inner city folks of color and their partners. The last group only by virtue of having more folks who are IVDU.

It's just like Lesbians. I've only seen one report of a single lesbian transmission of HIV. I'm sure there's more...but they are at very low risk.

M.

Glen Burnie MD
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Mischief, I would doubt those making money off swingers want you to know the true incidence of AIDS or any other std in the lifestyle. There have been many reported aids cases in the Lifestyle, over 20 in San Francisco alone(where else...lol) and many others all over the country. It would be naive to think the Lifestyle is AIDS free or that all people are truthful about reporting their std's on swinger websites.

Destin FL
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I meant to comment on this.

"The epidemic of AIDS, now more than 30 years old, routinely strikes even the "occasional" swinger"

Actually this is false. There have been NO reported cases in swingers except one. It involved one bisexual male who infected 2 women in a swing club. No one else got it. Please show documentation of HIV in swingers. It doesn't exist.

M

Glen Burnie MD
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swinging is not risk free. you can fall out of bed, fall off those knick-me-0doen-fuck-me -shoes, or catch a disease via sexual contact. We can not eliminate risk in our lives all we can do is work to minimize the unacceptable risk. Each couple must decide how they are going to practice safe sex and let no one change their rules. you can get a lot of cold related things by kissing, but HIV is a blood disease. go to CDC (Center for Disease Control) for more information and read what you can so you can make the best choices for you.

Fort Collins CO
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Of course we use condoms, dental dams and gloves, but as pointed out here, and wisely, sex is is never truly safe. An innocent kiss with a cold sore on your lip, your finger in a vagina when you have a yet undetected hangnail, a pimple on your penis when she takes it in her mouth, and the list goes on and on. But this is the point of protection, not risk elimination but mitigation.

Naturally, really safe sex is any sex at all between folks who don't have anything to transmit to the other. But, in this day and age who can you trust? We're all aware of the statistics about STD's. To say they are damn near everywhere is to dangerously understate. Each of us is personally familiar with swingers who's lives have been forever altered by one STD or another. The epidemic of AIDS, now more than 30 years old, routinely strikes even the "occasional" swinger, although there is certainly no such thing. AIDS is, however, only the most obvious of sexual curses -- chlamydia, HPV, gonorrhea and the list goes on.

There are those who shout, "small risk," but there can be no risk too small. Fortunately, there are those in the community who refuse to accept this insidious logic, a logic that places each and every one of us at risk, however small.

When all the shouting is over there is only one question: is any risk whatsoever worth transient sexual pleasure? If you can reduce a small risk, say 1:1,000,000, to a smaller risk, say 1:2,000,000, why would you not!! But why stop there? If you can reduce it further to, say, 0, why not? Normative people say monogamy protects them, but how sure are they of the fidelity of their spouse? What are the chances of an affair -- do you think it's as low as 1:1,000,000? Or is it closer to 50:100? So do you insist on routine testing for your regular partner? If not, why not? Is it because you trust him? If you trust him, why do you? What probability do you want to place on his trustworthiness? Is that probability acceptable?

There are folks who won't fly because of the risk. They have a point, because there IS risk to flying that is greater than sitting at home. These folks can't experience many of the marvels the world has to offer except vicariously because they are afraid to take a risk no matter how small.

Be well

Louisa VA
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What CAN happen with FF play is a transfer to fluids on the hands. This can happen in any group setting. I use one hand for my gf and the other hand for me. That keeps things separate. Men who place fingers in several women in succession transfer fluids between them. NOT OK.

There is much less transfer orally than you would expect, but the other behaviors that go along with group sex...means that I keep a small bottle of Purell in my safer sex kit. Remember to wash off the front of your body when moving from one female to another.

M

Glen Burnie MD
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you're wrong in the respect that MOST std's transmitt orally. Some do, like herpes. Aids is almost impossible to catch orally. Requires access to the blood stream. That's why anal sex is the most risky. More easily creates tears that fluid can get into.

There is a reason HIV/AIDS is almost non-exsistant in the lesbian community.

Lake Worth FL
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TOPIC: What don't I get