err. Herpes type II is most certainly an STD.
Ya gotta take your pants off to get genital herpes...
That makes it a sexually transmitted disease.

Type I can be...as it can be transmitted during sex also.
It can also be transmitted by kissing. Most of the 90%
who have oral herpes type I got it the old fashioned way..
from mom/dad/grandma/grandpa....kissing them when
they were very young.

Of course there are other herpes viruses. Mono is one.

Mischief

"Despite all of the noise about it, for most people who are infected it has no significant effects at all. The important thing is to be honest with all concerned, and to have a good, safe time" Agreed. Just another road bump to negotiate. It's all about being aware of the consequences of your actions instead of being chicken little when you discover it after the fact. I remember in the 70's herpes scare. Everyone in my local group were scared to death of it. Of course, it didn't stop anyone from bare backing. It merely freaked them out. My gf, at the time, did get it. She was "older" 32. She became quite ill. She had a 104 temp. The damn doctor didn't want to examine her. I told her to double bag her hand and verify the damn thing. Got her a blanket and took care of her. It turns out my gf had a moderately rare primary reaction to HSV. I've never seen anyone get that sick since. It did scare the shit out of me. But not enough to stop me from playing bare back with Bimen. Then REALITY hit. This new thing started killing gay men. They didn't know what it was but the pics were dramatic! Young and virile to sick and dead in months. Suddenly HSV became the little h. Unfortunately the big H is still with us. So my relative perspective changed dramatically. We spent years wondering if we had it too! Turns out hubby and I didn't have it. thank God. I see many, many folks treating HSV. It's fairly devastating at first. The majority seem to accept it as nothing major (esp w/new drugs) and move on with their lives. If you look at the statistics, it's amazing how many folks have HSV orally. Many swingers think nothing of oral sex. In fact soft swingers I suspect think they are decreasing their risks. They are, but not for HSV. And so it goes. You play, you may pay. It's the cost of doing business. It's good to understand that cost ahead of time. This may trigger a chorus of ...I don't have it. Reality is most cases are asymptomatic. That is have NO symptoms. It's very easy not to have an outbreak until YEARS after the initial exposure. So, if you ever played around..and later in life develop an outbreak...don't blame your spouse. It could very easily be your history coming back to bite you in the ass. Mischief

We have been playing for 5 years now, and although our herpes has been a deal breaker in many instances we have still met many nice people. We are very up front about having genital herpes, but after you get past the initial discussion it is no longer a big deal. It is important to realize that many people do not even know that they are infected. I never have outbreaks, although my wife does, and she keeps it in check with valtrex. Normal checkups and blood tests do not check for the disease, so even people who say they have had a checkup may not really know for sure that they don't have it. Despite all of the noise about it, for most people who are infected it has no significant effects at all. The important thing is to be honest with all concerned, and to have a good, safe time.

I think it is important to respect those folks who have Herpes and are honest enough to own it.. We believe in doing so we keep others safe..Those who don't are putting others at risk, the problem is we are often treated rather poorly by others.. So many folks in SLS have Herpes, probably close to 20% if the reports are true, I would like to help make it safer for those folks to be able to be honest w/o being shunned or treated badly. Please pass on the group Swingers with herpes under the "niche category", play safe..Thanks Jim of Jim and Mary..

I think it's a great idea.

I think it's important to have a very thorough understanding of how Herpes is passed and dispell some of the myths and outright lies about it.

I for one would like to learn more, so that we can ensure we play safe and prevent either of us from contracting it.

Excellent point, though. A disease or virus should never define who anyone is.

Sounds like a great, safe idea. Kudos :)

FYI, there is now a new group in Sexuality/Niche for swingers with herpes. I am open to feedback, ideas, suggestions. Please let other swingers with herpes know we are here and sign up. We hope to have some honest/open discussions, a place to feel welcome, and some lusty connections. In many ways this group may provide some safety for those D/D free by letting us party with each other reducing the chance of passing the virus on to others.

Herpes is a virus, not a definition of who you are, not a value statement about your worth, or a limitation on the passion of your desires. Lets play together soon!