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Preference Honesty : Swingers Discussion 193970101
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TOPIC: Preference Honesty
Created by: DoinItOurWay
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hello all, we're a new couple to SLS. We have been reading these forums and they are definitely interesting to say the least. Hopefully this topic that we start doesn't become a huge argument between folks or people just insulting one another, as other topics have. With that being said, we ask that people only contribute if they have something constructive to say that adds to the topic. So here it is:

Why is it that more couples who prefer not to play with condoms don't expressly state it on their profile? Are they afraid that more couples won't want to meet with them? Are they afraid of being shunned?

Any feedback is appreciated...

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LOL "hope hope it doesn't become people insulting on here....this is the 13thpost probably the longest one has lasted without the forum bullies stepping in.

Marietta OH
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If we didn't have the disease issues, our profile would be all about looking for wild and bareback full-swap. But we're clean and want to stay that way. While we are as lustful and wild as anyone else in the LS, there is the sanity of acceptable risk looming over it all. Anonymous strangers, as much naughty fun as they represent, have to be ruled out. Potential partners have to be as trusted for safe sex as they would be for bareback sex. If we ever go bareback in the LS, it would be with another couple whom we have known a long while and with whom we all play exclusively. One indiscretion spoils it all. It is a real shame there have to be limits and behavior reservations. Again, our heads and emotions are not barriers for unbridled, passionate and creative swinging. We can handle that and maintain our health relationship. It's the very real concern of HIV, Herpes, and HPV that erects barriers to the fun.

San Diego CA
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Unfortunately there are just so many things that people will say because its politically correct but not practice.

We have always had a condom policy. We discuss it beforehand. I would say though that MOST of the time, the other couple attempts to play with us without them.

There are things we learned about this lifestyle. You cant assume anything.

Mount Juliet TN
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peg- As a mama to two girls this is the biggest battle I fight for/with them and one of my hugest worries. It is compounded by the fact that I hear myself say things about my body that I would cringe to hear them say...I'd like to retire from parenthood for the teen years, please!

To the OP- sorry about the thread-jack! We have a safe-sex only line in our profile despite the fact that I feel it should be the default. We put it in because it is one less potential point of discussion or divergence of views. I like to have as many hurdles crossed as possible before we even get around to an e-mail. I don't like surprises of that kind! The above was about 14 lines too much to say: yep! There oughta' be a little tick box or standard yes or no for this question on profiles!

Cincinnati OH
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It is because - well you know why that is. I am really lucky in that I have always been in relationships with men who have thought that I was beautiful and hot. Even my husband, who had his issues, thought that I was beautiful. It is all in the the eye of the beholder, but we women are so brainwashed from such a young age that we need to have the perfect bodies in order to be desirable; even though we can intellectualize that it is a ridiculous notion, we never really lose that nagging little voice - or at least I never have. Sad but true.

Ocean City NJ
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I've never met a woman who couldn't find fault with her appearance, and that includes a couple of fashion models and a Miss America contestant. If their butt isn't too big, it's too small. If their eyes are spaced apart perfectly, their eyelashes aren't long enough. Geesh.

Belle Chasse LA
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Akie, I accept your invitation; if I come to Ohio, I will put my ass in your hands. But Mrs. A has the perfect fucking ass! Is there a way to photograph it badly? Yeesh!

Ocean City NJ
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It is my oldest, mono-boob one, but thanks. I am going to get the BF to take a nice ass-shot for you, just as soon as I figure out how to get a good shot of my ass! LOL.

Ocean City NJ
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Maybe it should be listed with drinking and smoking. It certainly seems to be more relevant than either of those lifestyle choices.

Ocean City NJ
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Thanks to all for the replies thus far. We feel that communication is of the utmost importance and that honesty is the best policy. I guess we were just wondering because whatever the preference is, be it condoms or not...or whips and chains, it seems like it would be easier to find couples that you are more compatible with if they list more of their preferences expressly stated on their profile. We've seen other websites that actually list those types of questions right on the front page.

Glendale AZ
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TOPIC: Preference Honesty