Unfortunately there are just so many things that people will say because its politically correct but not practice.

We have always had a condom policy. We discuss it beforehand. I would say though that MOST of the time, the other couple attempts to play with us without them.

There are things we learned about this lifestyle. You cant assume anything.

peg- As a mama to two girls this is the biggest battle I fight for/with them and one of my hugest worries. It is compounded by the fact that I hear myself say things about my body that I would cringe to hear them say...I'd like to retire from parenthood for the teen years, please! To the OP- sorry about the thread-jack! We have a safe-sex only line in our profile despite the fact that I feel it should be the default. We put it in because it is one less potential point of discussion or divergence of views. I like to have as many hurdles crossed as possible before we even get around to an e-mail. I don't like surprises of that kind! The above was about 14 lines too much to say: yep! There oughta' be a little tick box or standard yes or no for this question on profiles!

It is because - well you know why that is. I am really lucky in that I have always been in relationships with men who have thought that I was beautiful and hot. Even my husband, who had his issues, thought that I was beautiful. It is all in the the eye of the beholder, but we women are so brainwashed from such a young age that we need to have the perfect bodies in order to be desirable; even though we can intellectualize that it is a ridiculous notion, we never really lose that nagging little voice - or at least I never have. Sad but true.

I've never met a woman who couldn't find fault with her appearance, and that includes a couple of fashion models and a Miss America contestant. If their butt isn't too big, it's too small. If their eyes are spaced apart perfectly, their eyelashes aren't long enough. Geesh.

Akie, I accept your invitation; if I come to Ohio, I will put my ass in your hands. But Mrs. A has the perfect fucking ass! Is there a way to photograph it badly? Yeesh!

It is my oldest, mono-boob one, but thanks. I am going to get the BF to take a nice ass-shot for you, just as soon as I figure out how to get a good shot of my ass! LOL.

Maybe it should be listed with drinking and smoking. It certainly seems to be more relevant than either of those lifestyle choices.

Thanks to all for the replies thus far. We feel that communication is of the utmost importance and that honesty is the best policy. I guess we were just wondering because whatever the preference is, be it condoms or not...or whips and chains, it seems like it would be easier to find couples that you are more compatible with if they list more of their preferences expressly stated on their profile. We've seen other websites that actually list those types of questions right on the front page.

Some do, some don't.

We don't put condoms required because we, like Fun, feel it is the default position in today's world.

The most important thing in any relationship is communication. If something that is a deal breaker to you is not on a profile, ask.

DoinItOurWay, welcome to the forums. Obviously, you've already noticed that some people speak more bluntly than others, and some people can deal with bluntness in different ways. Don't let it bother you; just roll with the punches and have fun. On the topic, I've always just assumed that safe play (condoms for penetration) was the default, unless a couple specified otherwise. Boy, was I wrong. There have been several times I was in the process of putting on a condom when she told me I didn't need to do that. Sometimes, specifically asking that I don't. That scares me. I also wish that couples would be more specific in their profiles about their preferences. I have no idea why they don't.