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TOPIC: Husband is surgicaly safe
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Interesting!!! Reminds me of some rather attractive folks on this site who seemed really interesting and we were looking forward to a get together at some point...then I stumbled on their profile at another site and it mentioned some rather risky behavior. Now we're creeped out! chris of sue

Palmerton PA
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Danny, apologise for what? I just reviewed Travelin CPl's profile and it says NOTHING ABOUT BAREBACK! Just "surgicly safe". From previous experience with another couple at a party who were friends first, lovers second they were "safe" and wanted to go bare 2. So, as we suspected and discussed previously the "surgicly safe" label IS a good indicator of those willing to bareback!

Palmerton PA
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We have that in our profile as we do go bareback with other couple and single ladies when we are comfortable with, as long as they are ok with it also. We do use condoms when the other couple prefers and when we don't know the other couple that well. That is our right to do so. We know you would not consider us as playmates, and that is fine with us. With your narrow viewpoint we question if you might not belong in the swinging lifestyle. Each there own is our motto

San Jacinto CA
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We would agree that it is a Ploy in many cases to ride bareback. If "surgicly safe" we'd prefer their profile to also state how adament they are about condom use. It could be written well to say something like "we're doubly safe since we use condoms and are surgicly safe" ...then it would be a plus rather than a doubt :-) Also, true is that rarely have we ever seen anyone use dental dams or condoms for oral sex..it seems that people consider it an "acceptable risk" to varying degrees...for example to swallow or not, facials, etc! The thing that tends to freak us out more is that if you did meet a couple and you've already had oral sex and THEN they try to ride bareback..ewwwe...kills the mood and makes you wonder just how many people HAVE they ridden bareback? Sad as it may seem most people dont think about this beforehand.

Palmerton PA
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Just because someone states that they are vasectomy safe and/or plays with out condom doesn't mean that they should be excluded from swinging in anyway.

Barebacking is an individual choice. If you and your spouse choose to do it that way, then more power to you. Does it make you a bad person? No. Does it make you a high risk factor? Yes. No matter how you look at it. A person who doesn't use condoms is at a greater risk than a person who does. Thats fact and you can look it up on several Health and Medical sites.

Personally, we wouldn't bareback with anyone but ourselves, no matter how tempting it may be.

Washingtonville NY
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I'm vas safe but that doesn't mean we don't use condoms. We've met couples where the husband was vas safe and the wife wasn't able to use birth control and prefers other safe men. Condoms do fail, and sex with a non safe male could result in an unwanted pregnancy. But to each their own views of vasectomy safe males.

Bakersfield CA
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bac and lady . I say that, for those who bareback knowing they can impregnate another.If they are doing this and enjoying the lifestyle and done with their own families they should be vas safe. If your one of those who use condoms and the other uses other forms of birthcontrol then its game on. Danny , I am not saying you shoudl not have to wear condoms or anyone for that matter. I am vas safe and do wear condoms . I have experience in both aspects, one that is vas safe and one who does wear condoms with people we do not all that well yet.I have never told anyone that due to my being vas safe that I do not have to wear a condom. In another site a poll is going on about condom usage.over 4000 people have voted in the poll.56% do not use condoms,16 % do,28% upon request. Based on this I would say that there are more non vas safe people not using condoms. I can't imagine 56% of those 4000 people are vas safe

Sarasota FL
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What people place in their profile is not for me to decide. I am surprised though at the number of people emphasizing that male swingers who are no longer planning a family should all go get a vasectomy. I haven't been fertile since I was 24. Before that I sure wasn't trusting my birth control needs to the mandatory condom or to whether the other man was indeed safe. And when I was not using birth control because I wanted to get pregnant I found that an excellent time to take a break from swinging rather than risk the wrong father. If a woman is wanting to only have sex with v-safe men than she can just pass my husband and his condoms by. Because he is not going to go get a vasectomy that we have no personal need for.

Saint Augustine FL
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There are two entirely separate parts of every communication - what someone SAYS, and what the other person reads into it. I find it amazing how many people have just ASSUMED that because someone mentions being V-safe that they are using that as a ploy to push for going bareback. Unless they SAID something about going bareback, then they did not IMPLY anything about bareback. Instead, you the readers INFERRED something about bareback - something that may be entirely the figment of your own imaginations - or fears, or prejudices.

Come on, folks. It's bad enough to bash people for what they DO say, let alone for something they never said but YOU read into it.

South Riding VA
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Thrill,

We are well aware of what the topic is, but we felt that the irony of Danny's criticism was too great to ignore. Many people within the swinger community feel that bisexual men are a conduit that could introduce HIV into a demographic (mostly upscale, white couples age 30-50 ) that is largely unaffected by HIV. Regardless of condom use, there is a certain amount of risk involved in participating in swinging, so why add to that risk by bringing in men who have sex with other men?

However, to directly answer Danny's original question ("How many people here think (a vesectomy) constitutes safe sex?), we think he has a legitimate point. By pointing out that the husband has had a vesectomy (or that the wife has had her tubes tied), there does seem to be an implication that the couple is okay with going bareback. Thus, if Danny is committed to playing only with couples who feel the same way he does about safe sex, it is within right to eliminate "v-safe" couples from his consideration.

Denver CO
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TOPIC: Husband is surgicaly safe