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How to overcome STD fear : Swingers Discussion 2033671017
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TOPIC: How to overcome STD fear
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MC, it's good to see an honest person out here. I see ppl with visible mouth and face sores at parties. An employee at a local club said he saw a guy trying to play with "a pimple" on his johnson. Ppl are still going to bareback with complete strangers though.

Phoenix AZ
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I would worry if people WEREN'T worried about getting an STD. I contracted herpes 22 years ago. My husband has never gotten it and we've been together 20 years. There's always some risk in this lifestyle and not just with STD's. Do everything you can to protect yourself and relax and enjoy! I've had herpes for so long, I sometimes forget I have it. I put in my profile though because I believe everyone should be open about all aspects of their sexuality.

Oconomowoc WI
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Not nearly as bad as the media portrays and what does she want to get into?

Pound WI
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Not sure about that now but 22 years ago there were 2, 21 year old virgins.

Harker Heights TX
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Texas has virgins over 16 or 18 yrs old?

Phoenix AZ
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Thats hard to overcome. Im a diagnosed hypochondriac. I stub my toe and I swear its terminal cancer.

At one point I would get std tested so often that my doctor finally put a restriction on how often she would do it.

Finally, I just got it together mentally. I did enough research that calmed my mind.

First, try to qualify your partners the best you can. Certainly not foolproof, but we try to connect with people who are less active, and newer than others . Obviously condoms.

Most stds in reality are not a big deal. Theyre curable, you get some medicine and its done.

Then you have a couple biggies. Herpes. Well, its not deadly. Condoms only offer some protection. But again. Its not the end of the world. Nobody wants it, but its controllable, and youre not going to die from it.

HIV. Now thats one that I have spent probably a combined year of my life reading about. Especially since I engage in a little mm play.

While I take precautions and dont want ANY std. Thats the one that terrifies me.

But I have read. Ive talked with doctors. Ive talked with the counselors at testing clinics and Im comfortable that the activity I engage in is not risky.

Sexually HIV is transmitted by unprotected vaginal or anal sex. I dont engage in either one of those. My wife has protected vaginal sex with men, and in case of condom breakage usually prefers they "finish" somewhere else also.

When it comes to oral sex. Its considered "theoretically possible" Meaning in theory if the conditions were right, and you had open cuts in your mouth, and it came into contact with fluid, it "could" happen.

But from my research oral sex is extremely low or no risk. There is debate if there has actually been reported transmissions from oral sex. Tons of studies have been done and it still has not been proven.

So at this point Im still cautious, but no longer paranoid. In the past, we would play with someone, and Id be worked up for a long time. Id get a cold and swear it was something.

But now Im more comfortable. Yes, swinging exposes you to more potential risk than a solo relationship obviously. But I no longer look at it as being in the middle of a warzone.

Mount Juliet TN
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Spend the coin. Get tested. Go have some soft play. Talk to your partners frankly and openly. Get tested again.

You won't ever feel 100%. But you need to prove to yourself that you can be safe, and in control of your risks.

And be brutally honest with yourself...if you can't appreciate your successful, small steps...you need to stop. Period. You'll never trust your play partners and, worse, you could start distrusting your SO.

Bad bad things, man. Slippery slope of doom, distrust.

Roswell GA
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The easiest way is to be involved in a 100% monogamous relationship. That seems to be the boring answer though. At some point, a couple interested in the lifestyle determines that an amount of risk is worth the potential for fun to be had. It's up to the couple to determine how much risk is acceptable. The range starts at soft swing with no cross interraction other than looking (very low risk) to bareback full swap (comparably high risk). Talk to your partner and determine how far you're willing to go and what level of risk is acceptable.

Toledo OH
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Well, ultimately your level of risk acceptence is yours alone. You know there are bugs out there. Being educated does help, and unless you're really messing with the wrong crowd your odds of contracting something are pretty low, but they are not the 0% you are currently enjoying.

Dallas TX
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Thanks for the honest info. Both of us being virigins when we got married 22 years ago have been happily tucked away from thinking about these things. Heck the late 80's was a time of panic about VD and aids. So this will be the hardest thing to overcome if we do. That said all this fun and fantasy is very titillating

Harker Heights TX
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TOPIC: How to overcome STD fear