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Herpes - When to Tell : Swingers Discussion 87567
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TOPIC: Herpes - When to Tell
Created by: mo_nice_guy_4u The original post for this thread was deleted.
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I so wish, Seduction, that you could understand the difference between advocating and doing. I have never advocated bareback. My wife and I do bareback. I advocate understanding the actual risks of bareback, which you don't get. I advocate that the risks of bareback have been exaggerated, especially by phrases like "Russian roulette" and have demonstrated clearly that studies show it to be far less risky than most people imagine.

I have also advocated that condoms make sex 10 times safer. That is not advocating bareback. Try to understand rather than jump on what I write.

Enosburg Falls VT
 
 
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8, why don't you read our profile and see what it says???

DD free is the most overused and inaccurate phrase in profiles. Useless.

Enosburg Falls VT
 
 
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Seduction, if you can't get that we are all infected or potentially infected with HSV, perhaps it would be wiser not to shout that out. It is important for all reading this thread to understand how prevalent infection is, and you have been playing that down. Negative tests for HSV are almost useless since it so easy to become infected. Even everday interactions with most people, such as a warm kiss, has potential for infection. This is important to understand.

You seem to want so much to judge me and tell others what a bad boy I am. Others can make their own judgments about what I write, they are adults.

Enosburg Falls VT
 
 
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so, DandJ,

on your page, do you mention being D&D free? And looking for partners who are D&D free?

Phoenix AZ
 
 
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Seduction, why are you so dishonest about what I do??? Right here in this thread, I have repeatedly stated that in essence we are all infected. Do you get how that is not hiding??? I understand you claim to be tested regularly, but it doesn't matter. It is theoretically possible to get HSV-1 through simple kissing. HSV-1 can be transfered to the genitals by oral contact. So you and your partner could be infected by HSV-1 both orally and genitally even if you were tested last week. If...you've kissed others and at least had oral sex with your partner in the last week. Anyone claiming to be uninfected is doing the misleading since that claim is next to impossible to be certain of.

Enosburg Falls VT
 
 
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Jogeo, usually those who know they are infected will take precautions against infecting others. Most people who know they are infected know because they have symptoms and get tested. Most who don't know never have had symptoms and thus have never been tested.

One possible reason so many people never realize they are infected is because their immune systems deal with the infection efficiently, thus no symptoms. Some have suggested this is why infection is so prevalent yet so few realize they are infected. For the same reason they may be less infectious.

Enosburg Falls VT
 
 
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I agree with what most folks are saying. The fact that you have herpes should be disclosed - either in your profile - or immediately upon contacting or being contacted by another couple.

What bothers me though, is the smug tone that some people seem to adopt. This got me thinking.

DandJ make some very important points. First, herpes is common. About one in five American adults have HSV-2, and two of three American adults have HSV-1. Second, people that have more sexual partners – like swingers – are even more likely to have herpes than are run-of-the-mill Americans. Finally, unless you know you are herpes-free, you should assume that you have it.

Looking at this from a practical point of view, those that 1) have herpes, 2) know they have it, and 3) tell others they have it, are likely to take precautions to reduce the chances that they’ll transmit it to their sexual partners. On the other hand, those that 1) have herpes and, 2) don’t know they have it, are unlikely to take precautions to reduce the risk of transmission.

I’d rather have sex with someone who told me they have herpes and is taking precautions, than someone who just assumes they don’t have it, and isn’t taking precautions. If you’re in the latter group – you have no business being smug.

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Seduction, are you implying that you don't assume, and others shouldn't assume, that anyone you play with has HSV or HPV??? Do you think you can screen out anyone infected by what they reveal? Or do you refuse to play if they haven't had both HSV -1 and HSV-2 tests and a multi-species HPV test? And then you somehow determine that they haven't fucked, gone down on, or kissed others since that test?

Exactly how do you determine that those you play with don't have HSV or HPV and haven't contracted either since any tests?

Enosburg Falls VT
 
 
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Exactly, because most of us have it, each of us should assume everyone does. Even if you've been tested, you may have picked it up since that test. Since most of us have it, to be stuck on testing is missing the point. You've got it, we've got it, you're fucking people who have it. To be very blunt, every individual in every profile is assumed to have HSV and HPV.

And remember the evidence is that condoms are much less effective with HSV and HPV than they are with HIV.

Enosburg Falls VT
 
 
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That's how I read it.

Littleton CO
 
 
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TOPIC: Herpes - When to Tell