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FORUMS › General Discussions › Polyamory › polyamory vrs swinging?
TOPIC: polyamory_vrs_swinging?
Created by: billnsuzie
Original Starting post for this thread:
long time swinging friends are called friends and longtime poly are lovers???

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Interesting thread. I think of the term "lover" as anyone you have sex with outside of marriage. Basically it is a euphemism and in no way actually implies love. I actually think it is at a lower level than the term fuckbuddy which actually implies that you might be friends.

Dayton OH
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So how people use the language speaks to their inner feelings.

While the outer actions are very similar, people justify their behavior, desire, and guilt in how they choose their labels? I that the gist?

Conway AR
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Everyone has their own definition of what a poly relationship is, and what a swinger lifestyle is. Who cares what it's called as long as everyone in it is happy and having fun!

~N

Fairhope AL
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Just read the OP.

I/we are not Poly, nor do we ever want to be. My/Our take on the subject is that Poly is multiple relationships with a deep love to those partners. Swinging is just either fucking, or fucking people with a friend relationship, nothing more.

Scottsdale AZ
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@Bill yeah that is bullshit. If I don't really dig a chick I'm not going to be with her. Doesn't mean that I love her but I just really enjoy her

Charlie

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Reminds me of a song. If Ya Can't Be With The One You Love Love The One Your With

Charlie

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Just a few years ago we went to a Poly weekend retreat in Rohobeth Beach. It was explained to us that in a polygamous world, you can have a primary partner, usually your spouse. Secondary partner (s) are special lovers usually where there is some kind of emotional connection. Casual partners are like people who may not live close and you see them occasionally and then there are the one time lovers where you may not even know their name. When I spoke up and said that this describes our particular way of swinging, they quickly told me that poly was NOT swinging because swingers don't care about their partners. Bullshit

Greencastle PA
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I do identify myself as Poly and a member of the LS; I tend to not like the label "swinger" as I don't feel it describes me accurately. I have to agree with JnD - for poly and LS interactions, there is a hugely broad spectrum of how it can be defined. In my own opinion, the underlying difference between Poly & LS is the level of emotional intimacy involved. With that said, I have find that there is so much overlap between these two groups that until you find people at the opposite extremes of each lifestyle, it's hard to tell them apart. A couple I was in a Poly triad with for a couple of years introduced me to this website.

How a person/couple chooses to "do" Poly or "play" in the LS is defines by them and for them; not to fit into anyone else's idea how of each word is defined in a dictionary. I think that once we starting thinking outside society's box enough to start living *any* alternative lifestyle (of which Poly, LS, BDSM, PE's etc are all a part of) we should be open-minded enough to realize that we are defining our lives to suit the individuals we are and letting others ideas have less influence on how we perceive and define ourselves.

I have found that in any culture of people that I am involved with there are always those who feel that they have the "only" or "right" way of doing things. Again, I can only share what I've found to be true in my own life but the only right way to do anything here, or in the rest of your life, is to do what feels right for you/your SO and then doing it with honesty and integrity.

S Pasadena FL
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Given, I have very limited access to poly. I am poly leaning, my husband is not. So I can only go by the people I know and what I have been told...and you know how it goes. One tells a story in their favor lol. For me and myself as being poly, I would not mix my poly relationships with swinging. Same w/ bdsm, I would never cross it with swinging. But to me, in my mind because of my experiences, I do not hold swinging highly.

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Lost; I'm curious to hear how you account for swingers who are also in a poly relationship, as well as Poly couples who also swing. It has been our experience that exclusivity and monogamy are no more requisites in the Poly lifestyle than in the Vanilla lifestyle. Not that I'm disagreeing with your take on Poly...just curious about your view.

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TOPIC: polyamory vrs swinging
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