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Political Humor : Swingers Discussion 97782
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TOPIC: Political Humor
Created by: perfectmatch The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Great topic: One of the saving graces of American culture and our politics is irreverence...our comic tradition and willingness to skewer any sacred cow.

America has a long tradition of brilliant political humor including Mark Twain and Will Rogers and continuing through Lenny Bruce, Mort Sahl, Richard Pryor, Dave Chappelle, Jon Stewart.

Stand-up comedy has also proven to be one of the best places for engagement with social issues--including racism--that are too hot or difficult to handle in other forums. We can take discussion of some topics best if we end up laughing together over them.

Question: Who is the best comic or humorist on the Conservative side of things?

Toni Mprrison was wrong. Bill Clinton was not the first black president. Richard Pryor could be said to have that honor.

Check out on YouTube "President Pryor" (youtube dot com/watch?v=EtlDVi_1JMg).

America also has a long tradition of great political humor in our film history, including "The Great McGinty" and stuff by Chaplin and Will Rogers....and contuing through "Dave," "Bob Roberts," "Thank You For Smoking," "Wag the Dog" and "Farenheit 9/11"

Of course, as Jon Stewart has shown it can be so funny and hysterical just quoting some Presidents.

Los Angeles CA
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New Pledge of Allegiance

Now I sit me down in school Where praying is against the rule For this great nation under God Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites, It violates the Bill of Rights. And anytime my head I bow Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green, That's no offense; it's a freedom scene. The law is specific, the law is precise. Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall ! Might offend someone with no faith at all In silence alone we must meditate, God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks. They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King. It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong, We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls, Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles. But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess, When chaos reigns the school's a mess. So, Lord, this silent plea I make: Should I be shot; My soul please take! Amen

Louisville KY
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Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1. The sixth would pay $3. The seventh would pay $7. The eighth would pay $12. The ninth would pay $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good customers, he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. What happens to the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings). The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings). The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings). The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings). The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings). The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!'

'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!'

'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!'

'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important.

They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

Rochester NY
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New Government Seal:

Official Announcement:

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed! Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!??

Louisville KY
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Best Welfare Joke of the Year:

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the Counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare checks. I'd really rather has a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of Your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The Starting salary is $90,000 a year." The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're Bullshittin' me!" The Social Worker says, "Yeah, well... You started it."

Louisville KY
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TOPIC: Political Humor