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FORUMS General Discussions Open Forum so he's not really single
TOPIC: so he's not really single
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One thing that rarely gets addressed when cheaters are discussed is how the rest of the world views things.

To many people, swinging is no different than cheating. They don't make any distinction between the two. We feel that couples who openly tolerate cheaters just add to that problem.

We don't appreciate being tarred with that brush, which is why we always draw a very sharp line.

Just our $0.02.

Columbia MD
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The right or wrong of it does answer your questions. The people who think it is wrong obviously think it is your responsibility and probably also believe you should do whatever possible to make sure someone isn't cheating.

The people who think it is right obviously don't think it is your responsibility and probably also believe you don't need to do anything to make sure someone isn't cheating.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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i see a lot of people voicing opinions concerning the "right" or "wrong" of playing with cheaters. not a problem, appreciate the input, but if you read the original post, you can see that wasn't the original question or the follow up question.

1. is it my responsibility to hold this guy accountable to his s.o. ?

and if you think it is...

2. how far are we to go to ensure that he's being honest ?

if his profile says he's single, and he's specifically said he is single, (because we do ask, regardless of what the profile says) how much further should we go to make sure he's telling the truth?

Orlando FL
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-I am the morality police for myself. I like to sleep at night.

Well said.

Who needs the angst of knowing that you're helping some asshole screw up another person's life?

Columbia MD
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Alienation of Affection laws are still on the books in a handful of states.

Last year, two women in North Carolina won $9,000,000 and $5,800,000 judgments against "the other women" based on that law.

And even if there were no such law on the books, it wouldn't stop some enraged "wronged" spouse from screaming obscenities in front of your house or at your office, proclaiming to the whole world that his/her spouse is cheating on them with you.

Neighbors and bosses tend to take a dim view of that.

Columbia MD
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One of our first MFM encounters was with a very hot young SM who lived in our area. We had a great time together, and pixie and I were looking forward to more visits from our new friend.

Our first playdate with him was on a Tuesday evening. A day or two later we contacted him and asked whether he was free over the weekend that was coming up. His reply: "This weekend is out, I'm getting married on Saturday. But I could come out on Monday evening." He made it clear that his bride-to-be was not aware of his interesting hobby.

That was the end of that.

Lineboro Cpo MD
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It is amazing how many tell the truth when asked. Knowing how it feels to be the one cheated on, why would I want to make someone else feel that way? I am not the morality police for other people but I am the morality police for myself. I like to sleep at night.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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akron, it's good to know there are some here who think the way i do. that's a little scary. ;-)

yeah, i don't mean to sound like we're looking for advice on HOW to find a single guy who's truly "single" or at least not cheating. we've played with several guys and never had a problem. but we recently spent some time with a couple who takes this to such extremes with all their "tests" and tricks they use to catch guys who are contacting them.

i just don't think it's my responsibility beyond asking the obvious questions.

Orlando FL
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What akron said. we are not the marriage police. We dont want drama either though. We have never had any drama and the first sight of it, we would end any relationship with that person. We dont play at our house for this very reason (less chance of drama)

Allentown PA
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back in the 80s, a women found out her husband was giting it on with a couple and she sued,for aliention of affition.by law she could have everything they had.he told them he was single,the court said it matter what he said they were still liable.thats all I heard about the case

Kingston TN
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TOPIC: so he's not really single