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FORUMS General Discussions Open Forum so he's not really single
TOPIC: so he's not really single
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"Cheating is not a matter of opinion. You are either cheating or you are not. All the gray areas that you might see in this are illusions you create in order to justify you actions."

I'm one of those poor souls who only have an opinion about whether it's cheating to have sex with a woman who is still legally married, but who lives on her own while waiting for her divorce to become final. Perhaps some omniscient person with certainty of his rightness can clear up the gray area for me.

Belle Chasse LA
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mrick, you make some interesting points, not much i'd agree with in all that, but i appreciate the input.

it's interesting that you post here about responsibility, and then make a couple of statements that are, in my opinion anyway, fairly irresponsible in and of themselves.

first, saying i'm responsible for us playing with a cheater when he/she has clearly stated they are single is not accurate. but you can change my mind on this one as soon as you show me a "failsafe" way to determine whether or not he/she is being honest.

second, saying someone's opinions don't matter... that statement is wrong on too many levels to even list, and undermines the very foundation of any truly democratic society.

Orlando FL
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no it not cheating,it sex with her s/o

Kingston TN
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"So, is masturbating behind your wife's back cheating? "

Wouldn't that depend on which hand is being used?

Brooklyn Park MN
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I am comfortable believing that someone who cheats is going to be far more indiscriminate regarding thier sexual practices. They will be more apt to lie, and sneak...

A Snake in the Grass is a Snake in the Grass!

Im more comfortable I guess in "Mamby Pamby Land" Where If it dont feel good it aint right...

Im ok with that!

Saint Augustine FL
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"Wow Wanye......That really worked...Cool! Thanks! ;) "

What really worked? I lost you.

Gainesville FL
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make it a group room, so we can still watch.

You know, you never REALLY know when you have a single join you, whether that single is married or not, whether or not the spouse "knows" or not. It all boils down to doing what feels right for you. In our case, we just needed to "let go" of a woman who was cheating on her husband, lying about where she was going, and being deceptive in other ways as well. We don't need that, or her. Well, gee, we don't NEED swinging, we just enjoy it. When it's a situation where you are not enjoying yourself because of a gut feeling, karma, ethics, or whatever, then don't do it. Pretty simple.

This same women was increasingly substituting my husband for what she was lacking in her own marriage. Had she never told us she was married, then no, we would not have known.

i think that is the definition you are looking for Wayne, in what's the difference between cheating and swinging, sex is just sex. Well, yeah, I might see your viewpoint. When it starts to be about more...when it starts to be about replacement, deception, sneaking, hiding, wishing your husband was like someone else's husband...and so on...that makes all the difference. And we'll avoid that.

If we didn't know she was "cheating," then we can't say we felt wrong. I know it's weird/silly, or whatever. But knowingly doing something with someone who is knowingly lying and cheating just doesn't feel like something we enjoy. So we don't. We have, but it just didn't feel good to us. Neither of us.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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"What if I masturbate using your hand Wayne? :)"

Would I still be attached to it or would you stick it on platter and sit on it? Kind of a perverse Sybian.

Gainesville FL
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See, even though Akron doesn't respect me, I still mostly like him. He's funny.

So, is masturbating behind your wife's back cheating?

Gainesville FL
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"Wayne, How can you expect someone who doesnt respect themselves or thier own spouse to respect you? Lie? Betray?"

Well, because I don't agree with your viewpoint. :) I don't think that cheating makes someone not respect themselves. It's none of my business if they don't respect their spouse and as long as the sex was good, I wouldn't even care if they didn't respect me. I also don't consider cheating to be lying.

I understand your viewpoint. I'm sure the majority of people feel about the same way you do, just not me.

Gainesville FL
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TOPIC: so he's not really single