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TOPIC: WTF
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That could be helpful to people with disabilities or diseases like Parkinson's where carrying a plate of food is nearly impossible. When I had to use crutches or an arm sling for an injury, I would have appreciated that kind of help.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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om....just opened an advertising e mail to see:

droneware....a whole line of drones to carry your food to the table

yyyyy'okay

Bridgewater NJ
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For April Fools Day, Dear Abby is posting a collection of her weirdest letters for the last year.

I am taking this to mean that she's serious in that she actually received these letters. At least some of them, I'm sure, are prank letters.

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DEAR ABBY: I own a champion Airedale terrier I have been trying to breed for more than a year. Finding her the right match has proven difficult. But recently, we found a perfect match. Their genetics are superb, and they seem to like each other. The male's owner and I took the two dogs on a dog run last month and, except for a bit of mud, it was a perfect afternoon. There have been other afternoons and evenings.

The problem is the male's owner. She will only allow her dog to breed mine if she and I also "breed." She claims it is the only true way to know if our canines are a perfect match. I'm not a prude, but since my divorce, I haven't dated much. The woman is attractive, and I'm lonely, but her proposition felt odd to me. And if the breeding is a regular thing, would that be good for the dogs? What should I do? -- OVERWHELMED IN KANSAS CITY

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DEAR ABBY: I wanted to show my elderly co-worker some photos I had taken of the countryside. Without thinking, I handed her my phone so she could browse through them while I went to get coffee. When I returned, my phone was on my desk and she was nowhere to be found.

Only then did I realize she must have seen the many nude pictures of me and my husband. (We like to send each other naughty selfies.) What's more, the photos are clown-themed -- rainbow wigs, red noses, makeup, etc.

My co-worker has never said anything, but now I sense she's avoiding me. Should I pull her aside and see if she wants to talk about anything? Pretend it never happened? Casually mention "the circus" and see if she gives a reaction? -- NAUGHTY IN NEW MEXICO

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DEAR ABBY: Would sex with a robot be considered infidelity? -- WONDERING IN WESTWORLD

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DEAR ABBY: I love my girlfriend so much. I'm trying to think of a unique romantic gesture to show her what she means to me.

Would it be acceptable to have a carnivorous plant delivered to her office? Although I've considered traditional ones, I think the carrion flower is my pick. It's huge, pink and smells like rotting flesh. I think it's the perfect way to express my love. What do you think? -- OFFBEAT IN ST. PETE

Windermere FL
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WTF, what is in the air? People taking offense over nuthin.

Perhaps it's the wind. I remember teachers commenting that the wind stirred up tempers and increased irritability.

I decided to look it up. There has been a study linking the ions from winds with altering emotional states. It must be windy all over the country.

Irving TX
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Arkansas has 8 inmate scheduled to be executed in April, but they have a problem: they need people to watch them die.

Arkansas state law requires at least six witnesses for an execution to be legal, but they don't have enough volunteers. So the Department of Corrections has taken the unusual step of appealing to the public for volunteers.

You need to be at least 21, have no felony convictions, and not be connected through work or family to law enforcement, or be related to either the victim or the condemned.

Windermere FL
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The *one* SF to initiate a conversation with me, and I managed to piss them off by asking about someone who was about to vaporized anyway.

Tramp

Alpharetta GA
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That's a Dale Carnegie graduate right there...

San Diego CA
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LOL

Woooooooowwwwwww!!!!!

Windermere FL
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Update on the Mysterious Profile.

So, the profile is now back on line as a SF. I did receive an additional two emails:

The first telling me that the male had left because the female was a whore. Ohhhtayyyy.

The second email asked, "...is the ugly dog your [Lady's] husband?"

Damn....

Tramp

Alpharetta GA
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Yes, but he was mostly a kicker in the latter years. I recall that his age and the fact that he was still upright (and able to split the uprights) were a big part of his appeal to fans.

Wenatchee WA
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TOPIC: WTF
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