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TOPIC: WTF
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Ok. This is officially the best damn story I've ever read. I read the whole goddamn thing and I thought it was hysterical.

It is far too long to post here but I think it's awesome. You may decide for yourself based on your opinion of me whether that sounds promising or not.

Here's a brief part of it. Link at the bottom.

Earlier this October, at a ceremony at the Royal Courts of Justice, London paid its rent to the Queen. The ceremony proceeded much as it had for the past eight centuries. The city handed over a knife, an axe, six oversized horseshoes, and 61 nails to Barbara Janet Fontaine, the Queen’s Remembrancer, the oldest judicial position in England. The job was created in the 12th century to keep track of all that was owed to the crown.

In this case, the Remembrancer has presided over the rent owed on two pieces of property for a very long time—since 1235 in one case, and at least 1211 in the other. Every year, in this Ceremony of Quit Rents, the crown extracts its price from the city for a forge and a piece of moorland.

No one knows exactly where these two pieces of land are located anymore, but for hundreds of years the city has been paying rent on them. The rate, however, has not changed—the same objects have been presented for hundreds of years.

The rent on the Moors is a billhook—a knife-like tool used in agriculture—and an axe. The billhook is supposed to be dull: one early instruction said it should “bend in green cheese,” Copley News Service reported in 1972. About three centuries after this rent was first recorded, though, the standard had changed: the billhook should be in such a condition that it could strike a one-year-old hazel stick and make “little or no mark.”

The axe, on the other hand, is supposed to be sharp. The current version of the ceremony tests both: First, the city representative uses the billhook to hack away at a pile of sticks. After that tool is proved ineffective, the axe gets its turn—and swipes cleanly through the same wood. “Good service,” the Remembrancer says.

The article describes many bizarre tributes paid - all of which probably made sense at the time, given the payer's trade and abilities.

One landholder keeps his place only on the condition that, if the monarch shows up, he must “ride his horse into the sea, until the water reached the saddle girths, to meet his sovereign,” the Southam News Service reported. Another has to fight anyone the king wants him to. Possibly the best quit-rent ever conceived is this one: “three glasses of port on New Year’s Eve for the ghost of the King’s grandmother.”

w ww.atlasobscura. com/articles/london-is-still-paying-rent-to-the-queen-on-a-property-leased-in-1211

Windermere FL
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Nah..I think it's the old math method you use.. the one that just kills trees.

Rutherford NJ
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Well shit, I allowed myself to believe from the brief I read that it was on paper.

*silly Mr Va*. Must have been all that pussy last night...

Windermere FL
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He really should have upgraded his system through the years.

Rutherford NJ
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From WSJ...

"The Justice Department said that a search of his home and his automobile uncovered “thousands of pages of documents and dozens of computers and other storage devices and media containing, conservatively, fifty terabytes of information.”'

Fullerton CA
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Makes sense if you're gonna steal a lot of documents.

Rutherford NJ
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I heard this story on NPR last weekend.

The story I heard was that a lot of it was electronic, which would reduce the space considerably...

Fullerton CA
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Could have stored it electronically... Roughly a 5 Terabyte drive could store it all and all would fit neatly in a desk drawer.

Rutherford NJ
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"A former National Security Agency contractor amassed at least 500 million pages of government records, including top-secret information about military operations, by stealing documents bit by bit over two decades, the Justice Department alleged in a court filing submitted Thursday."

Mr VA never saw a math challenge he didn't like, so he had to work this shit out.

500 million pages. A standard 10 ream box holds 5,000 pages. So that's 100,000 boxes - MINIMUM - of paper.

These boxes are about 3 cubic feet in size. So this guy has at least 300,000 cubic feet of paper going on. If his house has 10 foot ceilings, under perfect floor-to-ceiling packing conditions, his house would need to be at least 30,000 square feet. In practice his paper probably occupies at least double that.

Where the fuck is this guy stockpiling all of this? A warehouse? An abandoned school?

Also - it said "over the last 2 decades". So if he worked for 250 days a year for 20 years that's 5,000 days. He would have to be removing 20 10-ream boxes of paper EACH AND EVERY DAY for 20 years. I don't know if I could fit that much in my X3. How the hell did nobody notice what he was doing?

Windermere FL
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It was Saturday, do it may be temple or a wedding. The boobs and "hooker" heels were a surprise though.

Irving TX
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