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Why did I not know that my post would be thoroughly dissected? I am not looking to fuck everybody I communicate with. I am single and it's nice to have a "buddy" on occasion to go out with instead of going alone. You don't have to be Mother Theresa to do that. That's why I hate the expression that we are all here for the same thing. We definitely are not!

Vero Beach FL
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I gotta agree. If I were a single guy and some single girl from the other side of the country was writing without giving a very specific reason (such as - I see you are into cycling. Can I ask you a few questions?) I could do nothing else but assume there is some interest there. To go off on him because he assumed so seems kinda loco to me.

While most "no thanks" emails go unanswered, I never fret about a short "thanks for replying" email, however. Only once did I feel obligated to answer a "why not" inquiry, because we had a small email history before in which we at least expressed some degree of interest in seeing more, and our perceived change in attitude prompted an "we thought you guys were interested" email. No problem. We did reply with "just a call we made. Nothing personal. Good luck."

Chesapeake VA
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"I gave a shout out to a stupid ass SM a zillion miles away from me who posted that he was looking for a SF to hang out with possibly travel, etc. In all honesty, I was in no way attracted to him. I send him a brief note stating that if he's ever in Florida, since he professes to be this traveler and just about everyone comes to Florida at some point, he responds like I am trying to hit his ass up with something about there a lot of swingers in Florida so why am I hitting him up. Thankfully, I never heard from him again. He assumed, I guess, that I was interested in him sexually. I NEVER troll for dick. I don't have to...LOL"

So let me get this straight. You found a single guys profile, had zero attraction for him but sent him an email suggesting if he ever came to Florida.............? Now you're insulted because he wasn't interested and he ASSUMED you were? I can see where someone would be confused as to your interest when he lives a zillion miles away and you send him an invite to "hang out" if he is ever in Florida. For the life of me I can't see why you'd bother to write to him at all if you had zero interest. Simply doesn't make sense unless your Mother Theresa and on this site looking for new charities to sponsor.

I agree with VA about those types of emails, generally there is a motive behind the niceties . People usually DO expect something in return . If you don't write back to thank them you're a bitch and if you do write back they have accomplished their mission in starting a conversation that gets awkward very quickly when you have zero interest.

I personally hate sending a thanks but no thanks email only to get another email from that person thanking me for letting them know. When I politely say NO THANKS I do not want, need or expect to ever hear from you again.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Well, see it IS different when we're at a party. A lot of the time we are trying to fuck people, and we expect people are trying to fuck us, and that's OK. However, we see no reason to carry on any kind of discussion and flirting with people who live hundreds of miles away. We have no way of even knowing if they are really who they say they are. For all we know it's some 29 year old guy sitting in his parent's basement jacking off to pics of the Mrs.

As for the "Don't worry we're not trying to fuck you" shirts - I hope I don't see any of those. I like it when people are trying to fuck us, so long as they don't become a problem if we don't reciprocate.

Along the same lines as another topic I brought up - I totally love it if a woman offers me a compliment just out of the blue, even if I have absolutely no interest in them. Often the boldest ones come from people I have zero interest in - women who are considerably older, especially. Maybe it's that they are just bold people; maybe it's that they feel like they have nothing to lose; I don't know. But I had several instances this last week of something like that, with the message spanning the entire spectrum from people my mother's age down to some 24-year old hottie who definitely had too much to drink.

Chesapeake VA
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LOL @ TM, I hear you bro. It's a "pussy driven" lifestyle, pardon the pun.

yeah, I completely understand where VA is coming from. We get the same emails, prolly not as many as they do, but it's very frustrating to be on the other end of it as well. And we've been guilty of the "what the fuck are they thinking" stuff as well when someone contacts us who we feel is in no way even close to what we find attractive. But so many have developed this, "better shut this down now before anyone gets the wrong idea" mindset, and to be honest, from our experience, it often does more harm than good.

We rarely need anyone to "shut things down" with us because we almost never are the ones to suggest play. we are so overly cautious about not presuming to know the other couples feelings, that we pretty much always wait for them to make that first move in the conversation. unless we've been talking for a while and the other couple has made it very clear, we're usually that couple who needs the house to fall on us to make us notice the green light. so when another couple is afraid to even have a conversation with us, we just assume that's how they were raised. not everyone is blessed to be raised in the south. HA!

did you see what I did there?

ps, sometimes I feel like we need matching "don't be afraid, we 're not trying to fuck you" t-shirts to wear to parties. the tricky part would be knowing when to take them off. ;)

Orlando FL
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Toomuch: Because they don't recognize quality in their midst. If it's any consolation, I think you're hot....LOL!

Vero Beach FL
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I'm jealous cuz the wife gets all the compliments. LOL why can't I get sum even from 500 miles away. <joking, sorta>

Lexington KY
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VA: Let me present the flip-side to your post. I gave a shout out to a stupid ass SM a zillion miles away from me who posted that he was looking for a SF to hang out with possibly travel, etc. In all honesty, I was in no way attracted to him. I send him a brief note stating that if he's ever in Florida, since he professes to be this traveler and just about everyone comes to Florida at some point, he responds like I am trying to hit his ass up with something about there a lot of swingers in Florida so why am I hitting him up. Thankfully, I never heard from him again. He assumed, I guess, that I was interested in him sexually. I NEVER troll for dick. I don't have to...LOL. This is a very strange LS we participate it and it gets stranger by the day....WTF

Vero Beach FL
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what difference does it make if they are trying to start a conversation? you seem quite capable of letting a couple know that you are not interested if it becomes necessary.

we enjoy this lifestyle most of the time, but one of our "irks" are couples who assume that everyone who tries to be cordial toward them is trying to fuck them. are some of them trying to fuck you? sure, I would certainly hope so. after all, it is what we do here.

Orlando FL
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So, re: this business of getting aggravated when long-distance peeps email compliments etc. some people seemed to think my attitude towards it is rather harsh, and that there should be no cry of foul at a sincere compliment with no expectations attached.

Well, I agree in principle, except that there is no way for me to tell if that's really what it is or if it's an attempt begin a conversation. So when an email came in from a couple 500 miles away complimenting our profile and hoping we don't mind them borrowing some of the phraseology for their own, I decided to break with my habit of not answering and respond to their polite email with a short note thanking them for the compliment and telling them they can borrow whatever they like (and they already have).

Well, now they wanna talk, opened their pics, etc. I'm not mad, they are likely nice people, but once in a while it's nice to challenge my habits to remind myself about why I have them.

Chesapeake VA
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TOPIC: WTF