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TOPIC: WTF
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(NEWSER) – "Hope they at least got the license plate" doesn't really apply here. State police are searching for an unlikely suspect in a western Pennsylvania hit-and-run accident—the driver of an Amish buggy. Troopers from the Mercer barracks say the buggy hit a Honda CRV at a crossroads on Route 158 in Wilmington Township Sunday evening. And then the buggy managed to hit the CRV a second time. No injuries were reported to the Honda's driver.

Hit the CRV a second time? Do you suppose the buggy had more horsepower than the CRV, and was able to swing back for a second pass.

Brooklyn Park MN
 
 
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A comedian under the impression he had rented out his posh Chelsea pad to a man with family in town for a wedding returned home to a wild orgy, he said.

Ari Teman, 31, claimed he left his apartment keys with David Carter, 32, on Friday night and stepped out for dinner before leaving town.

When he returned to the building to grab his luggage, a rowdy sex party featuring “Big Beautiful Women” was in the process of being shut down by building management.

Teman discovered ruined furniture, his gross wet clothes, and liquor bottles and condoms all over the place, according to Gothamist.

“Usually I am a fan of your service,” Teman wrote in a furious Tumblr post. “However, I have a minor bone to pick with you, in that it appears my apartment was reserved for some major boning. Also, it appears some stuffed animals were abused…"

“You just sent a porn sex fest into my apartment, and now I’ve got over $87,000 in losses. I had to call 911 and have these ‘XXX Freak Fest’ people removed from my apartment, my super is having me evicted by my landlord, and I do not feel safe here anymore since hundreds of people got a text saying there’s an XXX sex fest in my apartment and continue showing up, according to the doormen who I’ll never be able to look in the face again.”

Chesapeake VA
 
 
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"Minutes away" LOL

I'm "minutes away" from Orlando. About 800 minutes.

Chesapeake VA
 
 
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You're right, why the heck not, I've seen resorts, and guests in Cancun refer to waterview rooms as ocean front, Orlando might as well bill itself as ocean town ;).

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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"Ummm, one of my agents just got a request to be placed at an *ocean front* room in Orlando!"

Not surprising. Orlando WANTS to be on the ocean. I've seen Orlando businesses use phrases such as, "Minutes away from Orlando area beaches". Yeah, 65 mintues away. And I've seen cruise ships list Orlando as the port of departure.

Gainesville FL
 
 
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I think Barbie was vagina-less too. I'd like to see her pull that off, so to speak.

New Orleans LA
 
 
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An 86-year-old man who won a free ménage-a-trois at the famous Bunny Ranch choked to death on a piece of steak shortly before his promised night of carnal delight, said brothel owner Dennis Hof.

Eager octogenarian Johnny Orris, shortly before his last meal, said he was looking forward to “the greatest day of my life” — only to die Thursday on the floor of a Nevada restaurant.

Chesapeake VA
 
 
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Ms. Blondie Bennett (her recently-acquired real name), 38, is not just a California model selling provocative “Barbie doll” photos of herself online (featuring her recently-augmented 32JJ breast implants). She is at work on a longer-range project to remake herself completely as a human Barbie doll--to include the popular critique that Barbie represents not only bodily perfection but mindlessness. Bennett said she has had 20 hypnotherapy sessions to “help” her appear more confused and vacant, according to news reports. “I want people to see me as a plastic sex doll, and being brainless is a big part of that.” She said she is doing well, in that she recently got lost driving to her mother’s house

Chesapeake VA
 
 
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LOL. Tell them you can get them a chalet suite with good views of the ski hills.

Chesapeake VA
 
 
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Ummm, one of my agents just got a request to be placed at an *ocean front* room in Orlando!

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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TOPIC: WTF