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Not all compliments come with baggage, and I hope we never get to the place where we are afraid to be courteous for fear that someone might think we are interested in playing with them. K and I are adults. We alone decide who we spend our time with, regardless of anyone else's intentions. We realize this is a lifestyle where people will occasionally want to have sex with us. We can't place a wall around us to shield us from all the people we do not find attractive so that we never have to say, "Thanks, not interested", and we wouldn't even if we could. Instead, we just rely on that "adults" thing I mentioned earlier.

I realize this is not the same situation that VA is dealing with, I'm just speaking in general.

Cape Canaveral FL
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Thanks for the compliment BLT.

As for me I am guilty of long distance compliments on a few occasions but being a slut I would certainly be interested in fucking every one of them if they happened to get close enough. A few I've changed my mind about after meeting, ie the "braggarts" and the "red necks".

Lexington KY
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OK... an idiotic article I wasted a few brain cells on this morning....

"Celebrities you didn't know were related". OK.

In most cases, I've never heard of one of them. Denis Leary and Conan O'Brien are 3rd cousins. OK.

The stupidest one - Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are 10th cousins. TENTH.

I did this exercise once and worked out that, statistically, the chances of ANY random person of a reasonably common heritage (i.e. white, black, etc) being 10th cousin or better is around 5%. At 16th cousin, it's nearly 100%.

Obviously, the situation where two people are of purely different heritage has a much lower chance, but not many people in a country like the United States are, except for first or second generation immigrants.

We'd probably rather not think that we're fucking people from whom we have ancestors common within the last few hundred years, but we are. Oh well. I can handle 10th cousin. Not Matt Damon or Ben Affleck though.

Chesapeake VA
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VA: In no way do I view your comments as hostile but more food for thought. When I "stumbled" upon said SM's profile, he very generically said he was looking for another SF, I don't recall if couples were included, for the reasons stated below in my post. I believe the error may have been on my part and it brings to mind what a friend told me once about men that they are not looking for friends but fuck buddies. I wasn't looking at him in that way. I have, on occasion, sent notes to women who I have complimented for one reason or another, boobs, whatever. One case in particular, when I viewed her pics and we happen to have the same pair of Victoria's Secret linen pants and that was our conversation. The end. If I do hit someone up and they have no interest, I am not bothered as there are too many people who would be interested. My skin is not that thin.

Vero Beach FL
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It is bigger, BLT, but it doesn't mean that people don't make educated guesses as to why they are being contacted. If a stranger knocks on my door, it's probably because they want to sell me something; if a person emails us, it's probably because they are interested. It doesn't mean it HAS to be this way, but it probably is, and it shouldn't be surprising when people make presumptions like that.

SO - with respect to your "contacting the guy across the country" - I'd say you need to understand where he's coming from. If he emailed YOU wanting to "just hang out", I think you'd be saying "I don't buy that for a moment....", and you'd likely be right.

btw - this conversation need not be hostile. I'm carrying on my own conversation with you independent of Mrs. Sav's.

Chesapeake VA
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So you're telling me that your new Vanilla boy toy ,should he join this site, will not consider an email from a single female as "interest" because he isn't jaded??? Could this conversation get any more ridiculous? Whether you want to admit it or not this is a swingers site where people are looking for sex in the same way that Match would be a dating site for people looking to date. When one gets an email from ANYONE there is obviously interest of some sort or said email would not have been sent. It has been stated before and this conversation simply reiterates it ........single women/couples have a huge issue with a guy rejecting WHATEVER it is they are offering. Talk about crazy

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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I am beginning to think that for all the reasons expressed by you VA and others that I want to bring a vanilla man into the LS who in likelihood won't have these pre-set thoughts. I was under the impression that the LS was so much bigger than what has been expressed here.

Vero Beach FL
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Nothing is *wrong* with it. I am just saying that most people will interpret contact from out of the blue as "interest " so whether it was your intention or not, it shouldn't be surprising that he interpreted it that way.

Chesapeake VA
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VA: That's why I question whether or not I am a real swinger. I am more interested in the social aspect as opposed to the sex which in my experience hasn't been off the chart in many instances as I've yet to develop any real intimacy with anyone so I am not that enamored to just put notches on my belt. I've had LS partners in the past where we have just hung out because we were both in the LS but not necessarily interested in each other. WTF is wrong with that?

Vero Beach FL
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BLT ,

If you do not want people to comment, question or discuss your comments I'd suggest you refrain from posting them. I have no need to make you look like anything. You've done a great job of establishing where you stand when it comes to who pays for what all by yourself. If others I perceive you as a freeloader or cheap I don't need to take responsibility for it. Peoples perceptions manifest on of their own accord based on what they see, read or hear. Carry on with the full knowledge that anything anyone posts is opened to discussion and the poster has zero control over what course the conversation takes.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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TOPIC: WTF