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Oh shit.

Belle Chasse LA
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This would be better for the "news" thread, except that it's not "news". It's 4 years old. But it's a ridiculo- no, an *outrageous* story anyway. The fora's legal eagles should enjoy this one. Hold onto your hats - and your breakfast. This is a story about a federal appeals court deciding as to how extensive a shit-related accident can really be.

The 1st U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals last week [2013] upheld a conviction against a Maine man who served a seven-day jail sentence for willfully damaging and creating a hazard and nuisance in the federal courthouse in Portland.

Ronald Strong, who said he was 50 at the time and had a heart condition that required medication that may have affected his bowel control, arrived at the courthouse on business for an unrelated civil case. As he was being screened by security, he informed the guard that he had to use the bathroom, and then that he was defecating in his pants. The guard escorted him to the restroom “with Strong intermittently trailing feces on the floor” which he later described as “liquid and there was pieces in it” that dripped down his leg “all the way to my ankles.”

Once safe in the bathroom, he took his clothes off, cleaned up the best he could, throwing his boxers away because they were destroyed: “I mean, how could I carry them home?” he testified. “What was I going to put them in? I mean, it was covered in feces, there was — I mean, what was – I mean, I had my briefcase, I mean, what was I supposed to do with them? I threw them in the trash.” It wasn’t until a law enforcement officer tried to use the restroom 15 minutes later that the disaster was discovered.

The poor maintenance worker who had to deal with it said that “seventy-five percent of the floor was covered in feces” while more was “smeared more than two feet up on the walls” and “on the paper towel and toilet paper dispensers, on the toilet paper itself, and on part of the toilet seat and the left side of the toilet bowl,” according to the opinion. “The relevant question is not whether he purposefully defecated his pants, but whether he willfully spread his feces all over the bathroom resulting in a nuisance, hazard, and damage,” the majority opinion reads, finding that he did and doubting that the poop could have spread two feet up the wall by accident. The opinion also noted that Strong had a potential motive because he had twice lost a Social Security case in the same courthouse.

Strong’s defense was two-fold — one, he didn’t mean to cause the mess, and two, there were no clearly visible signs warning that it was illegal to befoul the bathroom. The court rejected both, first noting that signs prohibiting damage, hazards and nuisance were posted clearly inside the building. As for intent, they held that he willfully made the mess, reasoning that it was so extensive that no mere accident could be that catastrophic.

Judge Juan R. Torruella takes the majority to task in a dissenting opinion, declaring “The momentous importance of this case surely forecasts its deserved place in the annals of federal prosecutorial history.” “Contrary to the majority’s view, the fact that seventy-five percent of the floor was covered with feces does not support an inference of willfulness,” he writes, noting that there wasn’t any feces on the drywall, sink or mirror, places one would reasonably expect a person intent on vandalism to put it to make clean up more difficult.

Torruella delves into the context of the cleaning lady’s use of the term “smear” in her testimony, noting that while the majority interpreted the word to mean it was intentional, she had actually described it as “not necessarily like finger smears but just chunks — chunks and smears, pretty much, kind of like chunky peanut butter.”

“No rational factfinder could infer willfulness from the consistency of feces,” the dissenting judge concludes. There’s no word yet on whether Strong will try continue his appeal in front of the Supreme Court.

Windermere FL
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Must not have guts and be able to get it up!!! That should be the criteria. Rookies...i tell ya..olol

Las Vegas NV
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Ok fellas, just got an invite to participate in a gangbang. NOT my cup of tea, however the WTF is criteria:

The men be respectful. What is respectful? Well our ladies got together and agreed, men under 50!

(There are no other criteria listed)

So apparently the new definition of respect is being young!

Augusta GA
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Hahahaha!

Augusta GA
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The following are quoted from a Food Babe article on the dangers of air travel. These should serve to prevent her from ever being taken seriously on anything ever again, but sadly, it hasn't fully done so. No I am not going to stop railing on her or other purveyors of idiocy. This is ncal-grade garbage and the fact that someone like this had influence is astounding.

-----

When your body is in the air, at a seriously high altitude, your body under goes some serious pressure. Just think about it – Airplanes thrive in places we don’t. You are traveling in a pressurized cabin, and when your body is pressurized, it gets really compressed!

Compression leads to all sorts of issues. First off your body’s digestive organs start to shrink, taxing your ability to digest large quantities of food. Secondly, this compression reduces the ability for your body to normally circulate blood through your blood vessels.

The air you are breathing on an airplane is recycled from directly outside of your window. That means you are breathing everything that the airplanes gives off and is flying through. The air that is pumped in isn’t pure oxygen either, it’s mixed with nitrogen, sometimes almost at 50%. To pump a greater amount of oxygen in costs money in terms of fuel and the airlines know this! The nitrogen may affect the times and dosages of medications, make you feel bloated and cause your ankles and joints swell.

Windermere FL
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Until recently, Adam Ronning, 33 and from Minnesota, has been "dead" for 29 years. Just ask the IRS.

At age 4 he was mistakenly reported to the Social Security Administration's Death Master file as, well, dead. His parents' tax returns listing him as a dependent were constantly flagged for audit. When he went to get his first job, he was always having problems. He could not get credit, pass a background check, or anything.

The IRS of course still expected him to file and pay his taxes, but when he was due a refund they refused to issue any, since they apparently have a policy against issuing refunds to dead people, but don't have one against collecting taxes from them. At one point the IRS simultaneously had cases going where they were refusing to allow him to apply a refund as credit against other taxes he owed for the next year (like all of us living people can do) causing them to be simultaneously denying him a refund while pursuing wage garnishments against him, under the same SSN of course. The IRS owed him more than $20,000 in refunds but continued to demand he pay more taxes. His pleas to both the SSN and the IRS that he was not dead fell on deaf ears for the longest time.

It was only upon the personal intervention of US Senator Amy Klobuchar that Mr. Donning has been returned from the dead. "This was an absurd situation," the senator said in a statement. "This constituent was declared dead by the government when he wasn't. It doesn't get much worse than that."

Fun Fact: About 9,000 people are accidentally reported dead to the SSN every year.

Windermere FL
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No one talks politics at a swing party. Fucking is front and center. talk is all shallow things.

Las Vegas NV
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"I like to debate, disagree and discuss." AND I like to fight..just not when I wanna fuck...so politics is a sure miss for me.

Rutherford NJ
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And, let me add....

There are also those who want to turn EVERYTHING into a political topic. Besides ncal, there are others around here that do it, and not all of them are idiots.

I know people to whom I can barely so much as say "our business is doing well" without them either saying "Thanks to Trump!" or "Just you wait Trump is going to crash the economy!". If a local business is closing, it's because of Obamacare, or Trump, or Republicrats. WHATEVER. These people annoy the fucking shit out of me.

Windermere FL
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