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TOPIC: WTF
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$7 BILLION?

Go big or go home, I guess.

Or go to prison....

Windermere FL
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Jesus may be a savior, but he’s a terrible alibi.

A Florida man accused of making $7 billion in fraudulent wire transfers told the court he stole the money because Jesus wanted him to be wealthy.

Authorities arrested John Michael Haskew, of Lakeland, in mid-December after he allegedly set up the wire transfers on Dec. 9 and 10 from what the criminal complaint described as “a large, nationally renowned financial institution.”

Haskew, who was unemployed, needed to pay off a debt to the federal government, prosecutors said.

His alleged scheme was to provide a bank routing number that wasn’t his, according to NBC Miami.

Haskew used that routing number to make more than 70 transactions worth more than $7 billion.

According to the complaint, Haskew told agents he was “self-taught on the banking industry,” including how to make the fraudulent wire transfers.

Haskew allegedly told investigators that he believed he deserved the money, stating that “Jesus Christ created wealth for everyone,” according to WFTV.c om.

Investigators said Haskew told them he believed his wire transfer scheme would allow him to “obtain the wealth that Jesus Christ created for him and that belonged to him,” the complaint said.

Jesus was unavailable for comment on this matter.

As part of a plea deal, Haskew pleaded guilty on Thursday to one count of making a false statement to the federal government, according to NBC Miami.

No, the false statement wasn’t the one where he said Jesus told him to steal $9 million.

Haskew could serve up to five years in prison and be ordered to pay a $250,000 fine, according to the Associated Press.

Fullerton CA
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That's what I get for letting the SUV do me on the first date.

Waxahachie TX
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Used to know a female bartender who could do a cartwheel with a full drink in her hand. Didn't spill a drop...

She always had panties on, though...

Fullerton CA
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Why has no one responded with this yet:

"I'd like to see Annie do a cartwheel in a dress with. I underwear in."

Little Egg Harbor NJ
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Here's a WTF. I'm doing some work on the SUV at the shop (we've got the room to pull it into the warehouse, and the beginning of the month is always slow). I started cursing because of a hose that just wouldn't come off. Started getting downright aggressive with yanking that hose......and it spooged me directly in the face.

The worst part? It was tranny fluid.

*insert tasteless transsexual joke here*

Waxahachie TX
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Teachers unions are really bad when women teachers show skin. A teacher worked as a bikini crew on a fishing boat in Florida and got fired for working in a bikini.

Liberals are so anti woman who love men...men are evil bad things in the liberal feminists world.

Las Vegas NV
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When I attempt any sort of gymnastics (outside the bedroom,lol) it usually Does look slow-mo like a train wreck happening that you can't help but watch in horrific fascination.

I am a high school & Jr high substitute. It's my full-part time job that's mostly deposited to our kid cross country.

No- it's not rocket science, but in a small way I understand the sub saying she wanted to be the "cool teacher." My approach is different tho, where I come in guns blazing and hoping to scare or at least slightly intimidate the kids into towing the line-- bc 99% of the time once they understand I mean business I back off and give them my own two Personal Rules #1 No one bleeds-- bc I'm not good w blood & would probably pass out-cracking my head open in the process only to come to-see More Blood and so on. And #2 No fires. If you can't figure out why that is you've got bigger problems than me as the "responsible adult in charge."

I had to get a back ground search w fingerprints that has been good for the last 3 years but am pretty sure I'll need another one before the next academic year. Outside of that I don't think they verified any of my application references nor did anyone interview me. It struck me as lax but comparatively ? Ft Knox.

Lafayette TN
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"she saw Sponsler’s “vagina open and close, as her legs were in the air.”"

Cartwheels must happen on longer time scales than they used to.

Windermere FL
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Oklahoma Substitute Teacher Arrested After Exposing Her Vagina While Doing A Cartwheel

Hey, that could have happened to anyone. I mean, who does a cartwheel with underwear on? Amateurs, that’s who.

Now while this teacher didn’t invite students to her home and have sex with them, or have sex with two students in a classroom on the same day, she still did expose her goods in the most awkward of ways.

Lacey Sponsler, a 34-year-old substitute teacher, was looking over a class at Pawhuska High School when she thought it would not only be a good idea to do a cartwheel in front of the class, but to do it knowing she wasn’t wearing any underwear. Oh, and while wearing a dress. And of course, it was captured and shared on Snapchat.

According to police, Sponsler did a cartwheel in the “Junior High Choir room,” and her dress was “flipped up,” exposing her buttocks. And now get this: an officer who reviewed the video of the incident added, “I further noticed that the Defendant was not wearing any type of underwear.” Oh I bet you did, dude.

A 17-year-old student also told police that the substitute teacher exposed her “bare vagina,” and that she saw Sponsler’s “vagina open and close, as her legs were in the air.” Thanks for the details, girl. There’s more. The student also revealed that Sponsler “had been talking about using drugs” and said how she “thought fourteen year old boys were like men.”

Sponsler did tell policethat she “did not remember performing a cartwheel or exposing her vagina and buttocks,” and that she was just trying to be a “cool teacher.” Well, that’s one way to go about it.

In 2011, Sponsler did plead guilty to possession of methamphetamine and marijuana in the presence of a child and possession of drug paraphernalia, and was sentenced to a three-year deferred sentence. So there’s that.

But for this incident, Sponsler was arrested for indecent exposure.

Little Egg Harbor NJ
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TOPIC: WTF
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