Uncomfortable moments: Swingers Discussion 40197101

155
Uncomfortable moments: Swingers Discussion 40197101

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TOPIC: Uncomfortable moments

Created by: PolyGrl	The original post for this thread was deleted.

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User Details are only visible to members.	content and woods cpl we agree with you on the 3rd,Seems to be about right here. Can totally understand a newbie couple having difficulty but a couple that has been swinging for a long period of time having this problem with new people they meet, theres a problem somewhere whether its mental, or physical . JUst wish they had the gahoneys to say they may have a problem ahead of time instead of allowing a disappointing time.Sure some try to make up for it with great oral.I am imagine that there comes a time where the female just needs and wants the feel of a hard cock in them. Agree totally with livewire on the LUST!!!!!!!!been saying that for the longest time.There has to be animal attraction to the other where you feel like you just have to be with and have the other. An emotional attachment for passion of sex. To like someone does not mean that there is a sexual passion for them.But to have a passion for sex and have this animal attraction for someone is a lot more enjoyable then knowing and liking someone.We like lots of people, this does not mean I want sex with them
Sarasota FL			Username hidden (2070 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My hubby dealt with the "limp dick" syndrom just once. It did bother him for a few days, but I was able to help him feel better. First off, on that occassion, while just bullshitting with the couple, we both got the feeling that the female was into the lifestyle just because her other half wanted her to be in it. She said they were in it for her to enjoy her bi-sexual side. Her bi-sexual side actually only consisted of girl-girl play, which funny enough, there wasn't any that night. Her other half was too interested in getting at me for there to be any chance of girl girl play. This was actually the first and only encounter my hubby and I did seperate rooms. The other guy and I went upstairs and got right into things. Didn't take too long for him to finish. We waiting upstairs a while giving the other two time. When we heard talking downstairs, we came back down. They left not long afterwards. That is when hubby told me he had "performance" problems. He said it was the dreaded latex that shrunk his member (he realized later he was putting it on backwards... lol) I only had one male partner that "couldn't perform", but that was because of too much "partying" before hand. He was able to get me way past multi orgasms in other ways and I told him he did more than he needed to in order to "make up" for his lack of penetration. I actually felt bad because I had an enjoyable sexual experience, and I felt like I let HIM down. Would I give this guy another crack? Certaninly. We've actually tried to get with this couple again, but with conflicting scheduals, we haven't been able to as of yet. As far as the couple hubby had performance problems with, the situation itself made us realize we didn't want to try again with them. I think situations and decisions of giving a second chance depends alot of the couples themselves. This could happen to anyone at anytime. It's just the way the meeting itself went, the connection with that couple (or single male for that matter), and the interest. Lora
Pittston Township PA			Username hidden (1137 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Since it is extremely common for men to have performance problems the first time with a new partner, we would advise a forgiving attitude the first time and trying to make the guy feel as relaxed and at ease about it as you can. Then next time and ever after good things may be the norm. If a guy has continuing difficulty on the 2nd or 3rd time you get together, then the chances are pretty good he has problems regularly and probably will disappear from swinging before long.
South Riding VA			Username hidden (8158 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Is it okay to laugh? LOL Talk about a "family secret"... wonder if sister/mom is "lifestyle friendly" and ya'll just don't know it yet?
Hattiesburg MS			Username hidden (527 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	WoodsCpl3 puts a hard number on a soft problem: <36% of the men I have been with have been unable to get an erection>. It's not clear to me whether you are being humorous with the precision of your estimate, or do you actually keep statistics on such things, but regardless, I'm amazed at the high rate of failure, about a third of the time. This is exactly what I would have said is Ms. Content's experience with guys (about a third of them seem to have problems). I was a little worried about this high failure rate, but apparently that coincides with other people's experience (in a way makes me feel better). Ms. Content is usually nice about it in front of the guy, but she will rarely be interested in seeing that couple again. She will be similarly uninterested in second meetings if the guy finishes too quickly, and especially if he has a mechanical and unimaginative approach to sex... On the giving end, Mr. Content has been doing fine lately (as in, "in the last few years"). But when we started, I remember two occasions, both involving putting on a condom, when my teammate went limp as soon as I forced the protective gear on him. These were the first two times in which I tried using a condom in a swinging setting. So after those experiences I was totally "convinced" that I was unable to use condoms. Fortunately the third occasion involved a woman who I viewed as "extremely hot", and she helped me forget my mental block (which she was, and has remained to this day, totally unaware of). After that I knew it was all in my head, and just the awareness of that made the problem go away. I haven't had a single failure since (knock on wood...). One thing I usually do is to get very stimulated with the woman from the other couple early on, before clothes come off. This slow approach tends to produce an erectile state that's not only very solid but also long lasting. It survives all kinds of interruptions and idle moments (eg, a restroom break), and even the ominous wearing of the latex uniform! This success has turned me into a firm believer of slow sex, because otherwise (without it) I know that my performance can be rather mundame, even unimpressive. Mr. Content
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It's happened to me once, I felt so bad about it that we made sure it never happens again. Jitters do have a physical effect on men, there's many reasons and many ways to overcome it. A little break, to calm down or cool down, some friendly reasurrance, switching back to ones own mate for a while, and if all else fails there's that little blue pill that's a sure fire cure for jitters. Mike
Bedford PA			Username hidden (5527 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	One time is ok more then one time there is no excuse specially when he says over and over what he intends to do to her.intentions are fine DO IT!!!!!!!!! The occassional drop dead freds might seem to be ok and a ho hum.What I don't understand is why these that seem to do it all the time never have enough nads to let the other couple know that there could be a problem in the first place. Nothing like total honesty as everyone says. Those that we have run into we have been very understanding,will even give them more time.After the 2nd or 3rd time,we will say lets just be friends as the sex is just not working out.For all those that have it happen quite a bit they never know how to make the woman know that she is not the problem. Sorry if this seems harsh,truth be told I am sure a whole lot more feel this way then the opposite way of compassion,empathy. We are here to have different creative daring sex then freidnship if it occurs with little work towards that friendship. If it don't work ,then its missing what we are looking for in a swing friend.
Sarasota FL			Username hidden (2070 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Bacchus, that's a very interesting comment about the overheating interfering with erections. We know LOTS of men who have to be very careful about hot tubs and what the temperature is or how long they're in the tub. We also once went with friends to an on-premises club. There were 4 couples of us. After dancing a while, we all went up to a room with plenty of mattresses, and the 8 of us paired off into 4 couples and started getting into it. It was VERY hot in the room, and it didn't take long before we all discovered that although there was a lot of oral being performed and the ladies had fun, NOT ONE of the men could get it up! We more or less laughed it off. As we were getting dressed and starting to leave the room, one of the ladies noticed that the air conditioning ducts in the ceiling of the room were all CLOSED! She stood on the mattresses and opened them all, and cool air began rushing into the room. I sure hope the next people in the room appreciated the change of temperature!
South Riding VA			Username hidden (8158 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We've been on both ends as well, but far more often on the receiving end of it. But in the interest of being nice we'll address us first. The sure fire way for Bacchus to loose his erection is to get extremely overheated. Way to long in a hot tub, prolonged activity in a hot, stuffy room. If this happens, there is no trick in the book that is making that puppy come back until he cools down. Being a secure, honest man who ADORES women, he just flat out says it, apologizes and uses every trick in the book to make sure the lady is satisfied anyhow. Receiving end: there are so many scenarios that can cause this to happen at any age. I'm very understanding about it as long as the gentleman in question doesn't just lay there and act like it is solely my problem to fix it while he does nothing to help mitigate my frustration. Also there truly is a time to give up and hope for a better day. A true gentlemen would realize this.
Saint Augustine FL			Username hidden (12572 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	So far I have never had an instance where i did not get an eriction right off the bat. I tend to cum to quickly for my taste & when that happens I switch to giving oral & using fingers till I am ready again. We have had a few times where my Fiance' will be going down on me after I have cum and I can't get hard again. In those instances I finger her & give her oral. For me once I start giving oral or fingering my partner I tend to recover a lot faster.
Elkridge MD			Username hidden (480 post)

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TOPIC: Uncomfortable moments