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The Green-Eyed Monster : Swingers Discussion 47372
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TOPIC: The Green-Eyed Monster
Created by: PolyGrl The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Thanks for the invite Bacchus..and if the next hurricane blows ya this way, we have a table reserved for empty nested SoCal transplants!

Pensacola FL
 
 
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MandG, as recent SoCa transplants ourselves, I can commensurate. I'm repeatedly asked why I haven't looked for a job (don't want one), how I can afford a gas hog without a job (simple I'm not sitting on an LA Freeway and paying those insurance rates) and if I didn't realize I could have bought our home much cheaper in a different area ( because I like the area and it was 1/3 the price of the same home in LA so I thought it was cheap). If you're ever in our sweet little city lets have a drink and a meal and enjoy the giggle of being empty nesters with a bit less stress in life which we worked hard to get to. L

Saint Augustine FL
 
 
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We have been the 'victims' of material jealousy a couple of times..mainly after moving here from California. We are certainly not rich - but we are able to do the things we want to do with a bit of planning. We have what we think is a nice home, in a great neighborhood, and we have a few toys. We both retired a few years ago, and are pretty much enjoying life. We have, however, met some couples who seem to think we are flaunting our standard of living. When asked how they arrived at that conclusion, we found that apparently at this stage of our life we are supposed to be still working, driving different cars, and worrying about money. Those who have taken the time to get to know us know that we worked very hard to get where we are..and that we don't think we are better than anyone. We have no desire to make anyone self concious, but by the same token we aren't going to feel guilty about our lifestyle either. We have friends who DO qualify as rich, well-off, or whatever.. and we are happy for them, not envious.

Pensacola FL
 
 
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Once upon a time ago. I had that million dollar home on the hills. Could travel to anywhere I wanted whenever i wanted. My ex-husband worked for Viacom and set up and organized their computer systems to run the various chanels. I was absolutely misserable. I had everything money could buy and then some. I didn't need anything except happiness. Which my ex thaught could be bought. He grew up in a very shallow family.

The house was sold the divorce is final. He is still well off. Me however am poor as dirt. I do not care. with the economy the way it is. Tuesday my hubby came home with the worst news. He was laid off due to lack of work. Since 9-11 not many people are buying planes. So the need for the parts his company manufactured is not there. The machinist were sweeping floors in the warehouse.

The news didn't bother me one bit. We will be fine. We will find dif. jobs. The company I worked for left the state a few months ago but I decided to take the summer off to be with the kids. Now that will be coming to an end very quickly.

It doesn't matter to me how much money we make as long as I can keep the smiles on our kids faces. Money doesn't do that we do. So I am never envous of what others have that we don't. Why we have much more riches . We have a stable marriage and happy kids. we love unconditionally. That in my oppinion is much better than money anyday.

Bridgeport PA
 
 
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Yes, I've coveted what other's have on more than one occasion. No money can not buy happiness but it sure can make you more comfortable when you're miserable. But like others, I jerk myself back by focusing on how great I do have it and how many people don't. I also can just take myself back to childhood when I was frequently hungry, cold and in pain from abuse. I don't about most things now. We've downscaled life considerably by our own choice. But I do currently have boat envy going on. Hang in there M, you'll find the perfect house for you.

Saint Augustine FL
 
 
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I realized a long time ago, I am not a materialistic person and very happy not to have the jetset lifestyle. I agree with VA, money will never buy happiness, its found within and be happy with you have, not what you don't.

Johnstown PA
 
 
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You know, Poly, it's so easy to look around and see people who have so much more money than we do, live in multi-million dollar estates, take fabulous vacations, seem to never have a problem or an illness, etc., etc.

Then we look around and see how many MORE people there are in the world who live in ramshackle dwellings with dirt floors, are in abject poverty, have no health services, etc., etc.

Even in our own region, you can't walk down the streets of DC without encountering the homeless people sleeping on park benches, filthy dirty, smelling like they haven't bathed in recent memory.

Then I look at our lovely home worth a lot of money in a lovely, safe neighborhood, even if it's not one of those million dollar estates. I consider that we have pretty good health and excellent health services. Our kids were able to get good educations, love their jobs, and are healthy and happy.

And I have a lovely wife with a wonderful attitude about sex and swinging. We don't have all the nice things that some people have, and maybe we even deserve some of that at least as much as they do. But we have a LOT, and are happy. We are SO much more fortunate than most people in the world, and even than most people in this rich U.S.A.

I often wonder how happy those really, really rich people are. I sure wouldn't trade my health & happiness for more material things or a more jet-set lifestyle.

I also keep thinking about that TV commercial with the man showing his beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood, with a new car, and a membership in the country club. And he can barely pay the interest on his debts! And says "Somebody please help me!"

We're happy. If we're not rich, we're not poor either. And richness is more than net worth or income. It's also happiness, health, and kids you are proud of and friends you love.

I feel better now. LOL

South Riding VA
 
 
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HMMMMMM.....I think this is an excellent topic... The green eyed monster has no place in the lifestyle, because being in the lifestyle you must be secure in your relationship and have trust in your significant other. Now since we are all human, we do run into some jealousy issues from time to time. But if you discuss your feelings and respect each other for what you are saying then the moster turns into a cute cuddly teddy bear. I know when we play with someone that is thinner, then I am or I feel is prettier...I get a little jealous of the reactions of my hubby. When this happens I see things that are not really there..Like he is kissing her so passionately, why doesn't he do that for me? Or he is very vocal and moans a lot...I think "Oh he never does that with me...what is she doing different" None of that is really happening its just my insecurities that are making my imagination run away. One of the things we have found that has helped eliminate those feelings is we usually play in seperate rooms. That is not always possible, but if the couple we are with allows it we usually go for it. Just remember and never forget...they are going home with you...and what they do with the others is just sex....its not love. My $.06. Kathie

Muncy PA
 
 
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I believe the in any new relationship, jealousy lurks no matter how hard you try. You grow and it seems to diminish especially if you gain complete trust of your mate. I can say I do get jealous when I see a woman my age or older with a great body, like no stretch mark, perky breasts, no cellulite, perfect ass, etc. knowing my body will never be like that again, unless I quit my job and exercise 8 hours a day! I don't envy nor am I jealous of people that have material things I know in my lifetime I never will (unless I hit the lottery big). So I don't believe jealousy plays a major role in my life and hopefully it never will, as it is truly the green-eyed monster.

Johnstown PA
 
 
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There was a time when we first got together when we both thought I was a jealous person. Over time we realized I had a problem with trust for various reasons. Once that was overcame it was smooth sailing. The closest either of has come to jealousy during swinging is when one of us has gone off to play alone because the other can't make it that night. Even then it's more just wishing we could have made it more than jealousy.

I do get jealous about certain things and it is usually material things also. The one that gets me the most is when I run into one of those people who was born with the silver spoon in their mouth and doesn't appreciate what they have.

Has anyone else noticed that notice at the top of the page? "Search Offline Temporararly"

Sugar Land TX
 
 
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TOPIC: The Green-Eyed Monster