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Swinger or Opportunitist : Swingers Discussion 207824
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TOPIC: Swinger or Opportunitist
Created by: savandwin
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@Mrs Sav: "I'm a swinger, as part of a couple but should that change I'd remain a swinger as a single. If I got into a serious relationship again my swinging activities would part of that . I can not imagine ever being involved with anyone who did not have a clear understanding of the lifestyle, my role in it and their own desire to be a part of it."

Well said. I've been trying to get this new lifestyle straight in my head and that does it justice. Thank you. This is the best and something I will look for:

"I can not imagine ever being involved with anyone who did not have a clear understanding of the lifestyle, my role in it and their own desire to be a part of it."

Again, thanks

Jacksonville FL
 
 
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I see swinging as sex for recreation. It is purely for fun with minimal emotional ties other than friendship. Poly is much different, that is a person who loves more than one and has emotional ties with more than 1 person. Cheaters are another product altogether. They are a fucking disaster lol.

San Marcos TX
 
 
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'Swingers are people who are couples that enjoy having sex with someone else outside the relationship with permission and participate with their mates"

My definition is broader to include singles who have been a part of the lifestyle as couple and have an openness and willingness to include any future relationships into swinging.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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Swingers are people who are couples that enjoy having sex with someone else outside the relationship with permission and participate with their mates

Falls City OR
 
 
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Throughout the years, we've had numerous singles on SLS who were all too happy to be taking part in the festivities until they hooked up with a partner and would vanish into the horizon, never to be heard from again.

If we go by the conventional title, swapping, then singles by definition are not swingers, correct? While I never object/ed, and certainly never had a problem with singles being in the swinging arena, I don't view them as swingers.

Singles can and do go to a bar work their magic and pick up a fuck date. It's not exactly like that for couples. As internet became more and more accessible, I personally have witnessed a huge influx of singles into the arena. Don't you think that it's easier to flirt anonymously with strangers online than approaching someone in a bar face-to-face?

Swinging has been in existence forever, but I distinctly recall days when internet wasn't as easily available, where there were literally no singles at ANY swing party or event. Not one!

While I am with you on the cheating thing and dishonesty and how horrible it is, I disagree that they're dishonest and shameful behavior makes them a non swinger. If singles are swingers, so are those who cheat.

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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"Swinging is non-monogamous activities, in which partners in a committed relationship engage in recreational sex with others.

Is there a swinging rule that states that if you're a cheater you can not be a swinger? What does one have to do with other? "

What does one have to do with the other is that in a situation of cheating only one partner has full knowledge of swinging, the other by no choice of their own is left in the dark. To add to that many of the so called "Swingers" have zero desire to ever include their partner, share their partner or even for them to learn about the so called "swinging" . Many single swingers are in my opinion "opportunists" meaning fi they settled into a relationship they would have no desire to incorporate their partner into their actives . Either they will drop out oft he lifestyle entirely or become cheaters living a secret life. At least in my mind their is a distinction between the 2. Swinging is about open communication between all parties involved. The spouse of a cheater is involved no matter how you look at it, they may be unaware but surely they are effected. The integrity of their relationship is being breached with every lie told, their sexual health is at risk based upon of the activities of their spouse and potentially anyone that plays with them can be impacted by the cheaters actions should the spouse find out. For me the biggest distinction is that most cheaters have zero desire to incorporate the lifestyle into their relationship in any way and would never consider their partner as a playmate for others. If you play with others up until you become involved in a serious relationship in my opinion you are an opportunist because your mind does not embrace the swinging lifestyle as it applies to them as a couple. They're not going to share their partner with anyone. I'm a swinger, as part of a couple but should that change I'd remain a swinger as a single. If I got into a serious relationship again my swinging activities would part of that . I can not imagine ever being involved with anyone who did not have a clear understanding of the lifestyle, my role in it and their own desire to be a part of it.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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Swinging is non-monogamous activities, in which partners in a committed relationship engage in recreational sex with others.

Swinging used to be titled wife swapping. I personally find that quite androcentric, therefore prefer swinging.

I have mixed feelings about singles. I have to think how to phrase what I'm thinking.

As to cheaters, well, if singles can be called swingers, why can't cheaters?

Is there a swinging rule that states that if you're a cheater you can not be a swinger? What does one have to do with other?

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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" The best singles for us are those that are doing this because they are excited by the threesome dynamic not just looking for sex and will settle for an MFM or FMF because no singles are available for them. "

Acknowledging the rather fuzzy distinction that exists between swinging and promiscuity, your reference defines nicely what I see as one of the finer aspects of swinging.

There are many exciting dynamics that exist within the swinging lifestyle, and finding individuals who welcome exploring them is one of the challenges and delights for me. Doing so while respecting the boundaries of other relationships and individuals is paramount.

When you isolate the act of sex by making it all about quantity or self-satisfaction, and you show little interest in the big picture outside of yourself, you have strayed into the realm of promiscuity.

Flat Rock NC
 
 
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"I'm a little unsure of where singles fall with swinging vs promiscuity."

When we up the maximum occupancy of our bed with a single male or female, they change what happens in that bed from regular sex to swinging sex thus they are swinging; ergo they are swingers. The best singles for us are those that are doing this because they are excited by the threesome dynamic not just looking for sex and will settle for an MFM or FMF because no singles are available for them. In my mind, that is what makes them swingers and not just folks looking to get laid any which way.

Promiscuity is a totally separate question and couples can be promiscuous, too. However, this descriptor is a matter or personal opinion. One person may feel five partners is promiscuous while for others 500 is where the line in the sand is drawn. I do feel strongly that being an active single does not make you more or less promiscuous than an active couple.

Cincinnati OH
 
 
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I don't see myself as promiscuous and was always rather conservative in my manner and ideals. I really am just curious on what others think makes one a swinger. Do you get to be a swinger merely by saying you are one ? I get you can't graduate with a PhD in swinging. I think I just believe the use of the word swinger has become a catch all label and in many cases is an inaccurate definition of what one is doing. I'm not trying to "label" others at all , just curious what the definition of "swinger" means to other people on a personal level.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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TOPIC: Swinger or Opportunitist