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RACISM-A long way to go here on SLS : Swingers Discussion 2190371011
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsOpen ForumRACISM-A long way to go here on SLS
TOPIC: RACISM-A long way to go here on SLS
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Kibbles, my spiritual father says "nothing just happens." We may have come upon one another in a very unique way (lol). However, I believe God is everywhere and even in these strange forums we can be a helpmate to each other. I know I got off topic. I have to say that on this site, I haven't encountered any negativity where this issue is concerned. If I read a profile and they say they don't date outside of their race, I respect their position and move on. There are so many people looking to meet folks that it's a waste of time to be concerned.

Vero Beach FL
 
 
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I have a way of adding humor, automatically (not forced humor) when the story is serious. And you're right, if you don't have a sense of humor, it's so much harder to get through anything life throws at you.

Almost all my favorite sarcastic satirical comedians have had troubled pasts. It makes them able to see the world in a strangely comical warped way. Love it.

Gina

San Antonio TX
 
 
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A lot of what you other ladies are sayibg here resonate with me, that's probably why I feel such a strong kinship with so many of you.

Mcallen TX
 
 
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Sexus,

I too tend to be wordy. The writer in me, I think of every blank spot as a book to fill, even when it is only a breath long.

That is why I said I won't bore anyone with the stories. Too many too read.

My therapist I was seeing when I was about 23 years old loved having me come in. My stories had her laughing her butt off and she was a serious type of therapist. She would tell me that it was the best part of her week having me come in. I didn't try to be funny, but some of the commentary only added to the hilariousness of the crap happening to me and around me.

She told me that as long as I could continue to see the humor in the situations well, I would be all right.

Sophia

Hendersonville NC
 
 
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Sexus, I read the entire thing and I am in many ways just like you. The girls in Elementary School didn't like me. To this day, I have no idea why. I only remember that the entire school wanted to fight me. My mom died when I was really young and I was totally uprooted from everything familiar and was placed with my grandmother who was the original "bitch" (father's mother). Totally different culture, boy cousins trying to molest me constantly; even an uncle which is why today I take shit from no man. Like you, I stand alone. A successful relationship with a man would be the icing on the cake because I like you, stand on my own and I am comfortable with that. I have yet to meet a man who can do anything remarkable for and to me thus my divorce of many years and never wanting to marry until recently only to discover that he is an ASSHOLE and I kicked his ass to the curb day before yesterday. Here I am again, holding it down on my own.....God and me! Fuck the Bullshit!

Vero Beach FL
 
 
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Thanks for that. I am a believer that we can create a different way of thinking, or at least acknowledgement by sharing individual stories. And I doubt yours would be boring. I know mine can be tedious b/c I'm wordy. But, people can scroll past as they choose.

As for the multiple personalities, just learned yesterday that the woman who was the basis for the book and movie Sybil faked her multiple personalities.

What kind of personality does a person have initially that would enable her to fake several more? Agh.

My husband says I am a true Gemini...with the requisite split personality. I'd say he's right about that maybe half the time. :P

San Antonio TX
 
 
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Incredible story Sexus. I would love to meet you one day based solely on that post. You sound like an incredible woman who has so many sides to her personality that it is always a surprise to see what comes next. (NO, I am not hinting you have multiple personalities).

Your story brings a number of personal reflections to mind that helped shaped who I am today and that was a nice reminder. I won't bore anyone with them, but I do want to say thank you.

You made it clear that the path we take is in part thrust upon us and in larger part how we decide to walk it. It says a lot about mankind and it says even more about the topic at hand, racism. We can be taught racism and follow that path or we can be taught racism and walk away from it, seeing how wrong it is.

But more importantly, we can see racism and do nothing about it or we can see racism and do something. We can make a statement that it is not acceptable and something that we can bring change about in large bold ways or in small, subtle ways.

Sophia

Hendersonville NC
 
 
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Outsider here too. I'm not sure where it came from. Perhaps because we were encouraged (especially as the 2nd generation of hearing from a long line of deaf mutes) to fight for the oppressed, excluded or underdogs. We were always on the wrong side of the cool kids.

Perhaps it was because we moved almost every year - and usually to another part of the country.

Perhaps it was because I read, and read, and read.

VA said that he feels like he fits in better in this time of like minded people better than the general population (not a quote!) Me too.


 
 
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I scanned most of these posts and found them amazing....in a good way. IMO, racism exists that's a given (in various forms too numerous to mention here) so I take it on a case-by-case basis. From my own personal experience, just when I want to dump all white people into the racism category, I meet someone of that ethnicity who comes to my rescue in one way or another. It's not fair to make blanket statements about anyone as they're assholes in every ethnicity. There are African-American people I wouldn't be caught dead with so I TRY to look at people as individuals and attack the crazies when I come upon them. As far as children today are concerned, from what I see, they are more comfortable with diversity than when we were coming up. The problem, I think arises when they will be competing for positions and some asshole says that this one or that one got hired due to a quota. That is definitely wrong. I believe in hiring on the merits and I've always practiced that when I was in a position of hiring. Case in point. When I decided to leave my position and had the authority to pick my successor. My primary colleague was an African-American. However, based on the merit and level of service that was required, I decided on a Caucasian person because they had a better work ethic. I was criticized for it but my loyalty was to the business not personal.

Vero Beach FL
 
 
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SA, you asked if it was instinctual to act like that? I think it's instinctual to act in a way as to self-preserve. Survive. If you are the odd man out always, in almost all situations, then it is probably you who are distancing yourself or isolating yourself for whatever reason, from joining in a "group." Maybe it's just that you don't go along w/ group mentality. Maybe it's that you like to observe human nature in all its glory and weirdness, and maybe there's a bit of a shield up. Was it nurtured in you? Probably more like a reaction to the way in which you were or were not nurtured from the beginning.

Here is my take on it only based upon my own experiences with "fitting in." I started from before "day one" of my life already not "fitting in" or belonging. I'm adopted. I was so unlike the rest of the family I was adopted into, that I gave up trying to fit in b/c it was impossible, there was such inconsistency that I had no idea what the "rules" were at any given time. Forward to school age. I was bullied. Was I bullied bc I didn't fit in there either, or did I already have that mentally ingrained in me from birth to age 5 so that I walked on the fringes of any group? Actually, I know why and how I was bullied, and it had nothing to do with fitting in and everything to do with appearance and probably coming across as a good target b/c I was floored that someone would be mean for such a small-minded reason.

Forward to 6th grade. The "in" group of girls made me a list of conditions that if I met them, I would be accepted into their group of friends. Some were impossible to meet. What did I do? I relied on and developed the things about me that were different from any group. That of course, only ostracized me further, but I was by that time okay with being on the outside. In high school, I had friends and knew people in "all" the groups. Jocks, stoners, nerds, etc.

What do people remember about me from school now? Oh, Gina was the artist, or "oh, Gina was the one who wrote plays during recess and cast and directed them and put them on instead of playing kick ball" or "the writer" or the one who had radical political, feminist, religious/spiritual views, or the one the teachers liked but didn't fit well with the other kids, or okay, the "sarcastic one." hahhaha.

whatever I was given in life to help me survive it, and yes, I'm a survivor, was what I nurtured and relied upon.

No one in my family sang, or had any musical talent. When I found birth family, I found that they didn't have those things either. They were just mine. The kind of thinking, the artistry, what there is, the writing, they were mine for some reason, to get me through life on the "outside."

A wise woman once called me a lone wolf. And a lone wolf has devices to help her walk alone.

It makes for some strange relationships. Because here I am sometimes still trying to find out where I belong. When I realize I belong to myself and that's enough, then that is when I let other people in and actually trust them and choose to be with them. Swinging? It fits one aspect of me. Other things fit other aspects. And no one, not even my husband (we had that conversation, SA, you know) knows all of me.

I belong to myself.

Gina

San Antonio TX
 
 
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TOPIC: RACISM-A long way to go here on SLS