Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMS General Discussions Open Forum Quote of the Day - Meaningful, provocative and amusing quotes
TOPIC: Quote of the Day - Meaningful, provocative and amusing quotes
GoTo Page: Less ... 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 ... More 
Start   3244 to 3253 of 5596   End
User Details are only visible to members.
While looking to improve the world, the mirror is a powerful place to start

~Me

Youngstown OH
Username hidden
(12369 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
"Time passes and you begin to see, people for who they really are and not who they pretend to be."

- Scarlet Koop quotes

Rumson NJ
Username hidden
(17265 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Bah, not worth the bytes.

Loved this for some reason! :)

San Antonio TX
Username hidden
(7570 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?

~Sun Tzu

Emeryville CA
Username hidden
(12210 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
was he Alfalfa's Brother?

Burlingham NY
Username hidden
(9727 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Remember who adores you- Mr Akron

White Hse Sta NJ
Username hidden
(4489 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
"You can't say happiness without saying penis."

Toledo OH
Username hidden
(1440 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Fake friends are like actors, they will laugh and joke with you til they hear cut and then later they will talk about you behind the scenes. - Rasheed Bryant

Rumson NJ
Username hidden
(17265 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds...

People move out of the way much faster.

- Road Rage

Pittsburgh PA
Username hidden
(2789 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Alright, listen closely. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha ha. Your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me. Problem now is... every time we jerk the gerkin, we get a lot of unwanted sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. So... First order of business - no more socks. They're expensive, gumming up the works plumming-wise. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Uncle Andy, what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can't spew it into Mr. Sock?" Glad you asked... You can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the shower each morning - that eliminates the need for a goo glove. But, the day is long, masturbation's fun, so unless we want to take 4 or 5 showers every day, we're gonna need some other options. So let's start with the basics. Tissues. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that Creamy Italian. They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin and it can stick to your dick head like a fuckin' band-aid - ouch. From there we move on to more lubricated flack-catchers - specificially, bananas. Step one: Peel the banana. Step two: Slip the peel over your Randy Johnson and start pitching. Now for extra credit, warm up the peel in the microwave. Not too hot! Serious yowza. Also, olive oil, moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner, and Vaseline can all be used for lube. In my opinion, the best lube... is lube. So save your allowance and invest in some soon. Alright, moving on - when you tug your Thomas on the toilet - ffft - shoot right into the bowl. In bed - soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that you don't mind tossing after tossing. There's no such thing as polishing the raised scepter of love too much. It reduces stress, it enhances immune function. Also, practice makes perfect. So work on your control now, while you're a solo artist - you'll be playing some long, happy duets in the future. Ok - class dismissed.

Uncle Andy Botwin monologue to his teen nephew Shane ,,Weeds 2005

Buford GA
Username hidden
(3897 posts)
GoTo Page: Less ... 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 ... More 
Start   3244 to 3253 of 5596   End
TOPIC: Quote of the Day - Meaningful, provocative and amusing quotes