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FORUMS General Discussions Open Forum Quote of the Day - Meaningful, provocative and amusing quotes
TOPIC: Quote of the Day - Meaningful, provocative and amusing quotes
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One would hope so, VA! My father-in-law used to say, "Never trust an animal that can walk and have a bowel movement at the same time."

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Do unicorns have better bowel control than horses?

Winter Garden FL
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I was amused to see this posted by a friend of mine on Facebook today via SmartPak:

Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Aboard my ship excellent performance is standard, standard performance is sub-standard, and sub-standard performance is not permitted to exist. That, I kid you not.

--Captain Dennis Francis Queeg, Commanding Officer, USS Caine.

Belle Chasse LA
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I imagine drowning is a terrible way to die. However, it would be slightly less terrible if, right before you drowned, you were *really* thirsty.

Winter Garden FL
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Listen to me very carefully. There are three ways of doing things around here: the right way, the wrong way, or the way that I do it. You understand?

Sam 'Ace' Rothstein - Casino

Atlanta GA
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Lemme' Get Minze..... Overheard at a local Social services office daily

Burlingham NY
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I had to show more tax returns to buy a house than Mitt Romney has to show to run for POTUS...

- Perspective home buyer

Pittsburgh PA
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The worst time to have a heart attack is in the middle of a game of charades. Especially if your teammates are bad guessers.

Winter Garden FL
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Watching Louis CK while sewing for work. The woman he slept with the week before calls him to say that she has crabs and either she gave them to him or he gave them to her. She ends the conversation with:

"so either fuck you or I'm sorry"

Haven't we all said that at one time or another? Although not about crabs, of course, or maybe.

Ocean City NJ
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TOPIC: Quote of the Day - Meaningful, provocative and amusing quotes