Question for parents of kids with shitty grandparents: Swingers Discussion 2098281031

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Question for parents of kids with shitty grandparents: Swingers Discussion 2098281031

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TOPIC: Question for parents of kids with shitty grandparents

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User Details are only visible to members.	First, I don't think he 'shouldn't have said it'. Alcoholism isn't something that 'has' to, or even should be, ignored or sugar coated, and I applaud that little rascal!!! He is wise beyond his years. I do understand though, that 'he' feels bad he said it. As long as he knows he had every right to say it!! An apology like 'Pee Paw, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings' ...is all that's necessary. (love the drawing picture idea too). The fact that it is the truth, cannot be changed and shouldn't have to be. Even you can say you're sorry he hurt his feelings to him if you feel the need. Your son may have just had his first lesson of many, that 'the truth does hurt', but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be said! I personally am very proud of your little boy, and if you are, tell him ...perhaps that may relieve a little of his guilt. Just because he is innocent enough to say the obvious easily, does not mean he shouldn't have said it. If he would like to now focus on the good times he has had with his grandpa that's sweet, but I don't think letting or suggesting him back peddle is appropriate for your son. It may be important for him to tell someone the truth somewhere in his future. You know how hard that is to do, let him learn this now and it won't be so hard for him too. I don't think this will change a lifelong alcoholic, but it may just change things in other relationships your boy has in his life. Focus just on him about this, I think it was amazing he said it. Your dad? ...maybe he will get drunk and forget he said it? If not, he deserved to hear it way sooner than now. ....I'm sorry if I am too harsh. If I was a lifelong alcoholic, I would not expect much sympathy. Even when my kids 'call me on' things now that they think I have done wrong, I am proud of them, that they weren't like me and afraid to say the truth. I am very proud of your son.
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	That's the one thing about young kids. Brutal honesy. They haven't learned the art of tact. As far as your dad's concerned the truth hurts sometimes. Maybe he'll take what your son said and use it to get himself together.To some grandparents not having a relationship with their grandchildren is harder than not having one with their kids...
New Kensington PA			Username hidden (2138 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	lost, that is a very touching story. Everyone has feelings, and many who are not adept at dealing with them are often drunk or otherwise altered. A 10 year old has little notion of what constitutes a good apology: This requires an adult level of empathy, which is not well developed at that age. But you might suggest that he make a gesture of goodwill to your dad. Think together of something he likes about the man. Make something that he'd appreciate. Does the boy draw? How about depicting some fun time they've had together? Surely some meaningful and positive memory has been shared. Kids are honest because it comes naturally to them, and it's one of their best qualities. I'd bet your son can honestly convey some mutual appreciation to the old man.
Flat Rock NC			Username hidden (2836 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I have a question for y'all. How do you handle your child saying something they should not have said, even if it was the truth? My dad, well you know how my dad is. My children are not me. They know what a healthy, loving, functional home is. And now that they are 8 and 10...they know what a dysfunctional alcoholic is. And unlike me, they have parents that support them so they are not afraid like I was at their age. With me, fucked up was just how it had always been. With these dudes, they understand that Pee Paw is not right. Anyways. My dad yes, was drunk. He said something to our 10 year old. My dad was talking about the fact that their neighborhood friend's Grandfather is dead, and shouldn't he be happy that he has his Grandfather stil. Well....my boy did not talk back, he just calmly responded with well yes, my gfather is alive...but you are always drunk and yelling and I do not want to be around you because you are loud and yell and you are always drunk. My dad, who rarely shows emotion, was so hurt..he went into his room and locked the door. The 10 year old feels bad about it...but I cannot bring myself to having him apologize for telling the truth....but at the same time, I hate that my dad's feelings are so hurt. I do not know how to handle it...I cannot force my child to apologize for saying something I wanted to say all of my life.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23665 post)

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TOPIC: Question for parents of kids with shitty grandparents