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Question for parents of kids with shitty grandparents : Swingers Discussion 2098281011
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TOPIC: Question for parents of kids with shitty grandparents
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No, not all people should be respected. I find it funny that some of the people claiming all people should be respected, were wanting to torture certain people, not to long ago. Can't have it both ways.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
 
 
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All people should be respected. Why does one need to earn respect? Isn't the person giving the respect or disrespect responsible for his/her own behavior?

Whitehouse Station NJ
 
 
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Erica, welcome back you smart and sexy thang.

I've got an excellent idea of how to help you learn some respect for at least one of your elders.

Belle Chasse LA
 
 
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My crappy parents tried to raise me to respect my elders, and then displayed at every opportunity, the polar opposite of that behavior. So, I've lead most of my life as a disrespectful brat. I don't think I respected my "elders" just for the sake of it until very recently. Most of my life, I've "self taught" myself that respect is earned and lost equally. I try to live as a respectable person, and try to respect others. However, I have no tolerance for certain behaviors and refuse to "respect" someone who is abusive or otherwise inappropriate just because they're old. I raise my son to treat others how he wants to be treated. I talk with him about all KINDS of scenarios and circumstances, and to the best of my ability, try to explain to him how people can sometimes act in ways we know are wrong, and why we should try and be patient with them. My parents are not wonderful grandparents. In a similar scenario, I would try to encourage my son to apologize for hurting his feelings, but explain that his feelings are valid and true, and he is entitled to them. I would want it to be explicitly clear to him that he is not wrong, he is merely making a grown up motion to apologize and establish moving on. I think this will need be to discussed quite a bit to ensure he understands how one can be right and still WANT to apologize, not HAVE to. Unfair, for sure, to have to explain these things to our children. I'd always hoped my fucked up parents would not continue to dysfunction, but alas, I guess they like how messed up their first born is. May as well continue down that path.

Cuyahoga Falls OH
 
 
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I don't believe people should be given respect, just because they are old. It is a person's actions that gets my respect. I would never teach my child to respect people, just because of their age, job, etc.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
 
 
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***In your case I would probably agree, but when alcohol is involved you could be playing with someone's life. IMO "shaming" him may just be what is needed to make him see the light.***

not to side tract this discussion- If a person was under the influence of any substance I would rather avoid attempting to "shaming them " into something...... there are too many cases of " induced violence, the potential dangers far out weigh to possible good. IMO of course.

As far as the OP, I would sit down with the child and explain that what he said may have been hurtful . Then I would go with the child when the offended were Sober, and have him express his apology. It is tough for children to be exposed to things in life, We try to shield them the best we can. We also have to show them that we must also respect others, even when they are not as nice as we would like them to be.

who said raising kids were ever easy?

Burlingham NY
 
 
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"In your case I would probably agree, but when alcohol is involved you could be playing with someone's life. IMO "shaming" him may just be what is needed to make him see the light. If it was one of my parents I would let it be known, that if I even suspected they were anything but sober when visiting, they would not be allowed in the house. "

You can't shame an alcoholic into recovery. Only an alcoholic can save themselves and an apology does not remove any shame or remove any potential guilty the alcohol may feel.

In my personal opinion the lesson learned for the child is what matters. Grandpa has been a alcoholic for a long time and it is perhaps too late to save him from himself but a young child needs to be taught the ramifications for his actions and learn how to take steps to repair any damage caused by his actions or words. Being "right" is no excuse to be disrespectful to your elders. Lost mentioned her son felt bad and therefore apologizing would make him feel better . Grandpa is not my concern, the apology is not meant to make him feel better at all. I do agree with the sober factor, if he can't remain sober while around the children than quite simply he can not be around the children , that is his choice.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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'A valuable lesson for him to learn ! When you hurt another intentionally or accidentally an apology is always in order.'

In your case I would probably agree, but when alcohol is involved you could be playing with someone's life. IMO "shaming" him may just be what is needed to make him see the light. If it was one of my parents I would let it be known, that if I even suspected they were anything but sober when visiting, they would not be allowed in the house.

Cape Coral FL
 
 
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Amen SED,

As I said there is ALWAYS a reason to apologize to a loved one and being "sorry" doesn't make one wrong. Years ago my mother egged my oldest son (maybe 13 at the time) into a "battle" by repeatedly asking "Doesn't grandma look beautiful" mind you she was a WRECK that day. Eventually he replied "No grandma you look like a disaster". She cried, he was sent to his room until he could apologize and stayed there for HOURS, simply refusing to apologize. Eventually I went in and we had the "talk" about simply being sorry he hurt her feelings. After which he could apologize and be sincere, knowing he was "right" she did look terrible , she asked for it, egged him into it but still hurt her feelings. As for me I wanted to smack some sense into her for purposefully cornering him into being "honest" . She knew full well she looked terrible that way, why make a game of it and set him up for failure??? A valuable lesson for him to learn ! When you hurt another intentionally or accidentally an apology is always in order.

Anniston AL
 
 
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Regardless of what kind of a parent/grandparent you have, a 10 year old should be respectful of their elderly, this is how I was raised, and this is how I raise my children.

The child SHOULD absolutely apologize, for speaking to a grown up as he has, and for hurting his grandparent. That does not mean that the child was wrong, and had this been my child, I would sit down with him and explain this to him.

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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TOPIC: Question for parents of kids with shitty grandparents