Question for parents of kids with shitty grandparents: Swingers Discussion 209828

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TOPIC: Question for parents of kids with shitty grandparents

Created by: lost_j1 Original Starting post for this thread:
I have a question for y'all. How do you handle your child saying something they should not have said, even if it was the truth? My dad, well you know how my dad is. My children are not me. They know what a healthy, loving, functional home is. And now that they are 8 and 10...they know what a dysfunctional alcoholic is. And unlike me, they have parents that support them so they are not afraid like I was at their age. With me, fucked up was just how it had always been. With these dudes, they understand that Pee Paw is not right. Anyways. My dad yes, was drunk. He said something to our 10 year old. My dad was talking about the fact that their neighborhood friend's Grandfather is dead, and shouldn't he be happy that he has his Grandfather stil. Well....my boy did not talk back, he just calmly responded with well yes, my gfather is alive...but you are always drunk and yelling and I do not want to be around you because you are loud and yell and you are always drunk. My dad, who rarely shows emotion, was so hurt..he went into his room and locked the door. The 10 year old feels bad about it...but I cannot bring myself to having him apologize for telling the truth....but at the same time, I hate that my dad's feelings are so hurt. I do not know how to handle it...I cannot force my child to apologize for saying something I wanted to say all of my life.

Created by: lost_j1
Original Starting post for this thread:

I have a question for y'all.  How do you handle your child saying something they should not have said, even if it was the truth?  My dad, well you know how my dad is.  My children are not me.  They know what a healthy, loving, functional home is.  And now that they are 8 and 10...they know what a dysfunctional alcoholic is.  And unlike me, they have parents that support them so they are not afraid like I was at their age.  With me, fucked up was just how it had always been.  With these dudes, they understand that Pee Paw is not right.  Anyways.  My dad yes, was drunk.  He said something to our 10 year old.  My dad was talking about the fact that their neighborhood friend's Grandfather is dead, and shouldn't he be happy that he has his Grandfather stil.  Well....my boy did not talk back, he just calmly responded with well yes, my gfather is alive...but you are always drunk and yelling and I do not want to be around you because you are loud and yell and you are always drunk.  My dad, who rarely shows emotion, was so hurt..he went into his room and locked the door.  The 10 year old feels bad about it...but I cannot bring myself to having him apologize for telling the truth....but at the same time, I hate that my dad's feelings are so hurt.  I do not know how to handle it...I cannot force my child to apologize for saying something I wanted to say all of my life.

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User Details are only visible to members.	We too are a house with a very tight code of respect. I love it, and i am proud of it. In this case however i would specifically not want my child to apologize. As i read it he was not spewing shit to be hurtful or disrespectful, he was letting someone know how he feels, and i am quite sure that he would love nothing more than to have a normal grandfather situation. It needed to be said and i am glad he did it. Sometimes idea and thoughts actually NEED to be more free flowing as opposed to being kept in. Being controlled by a demon and hearing your family voice feelings is far different than a kid voicing an opinion about grandpop's messy house, or low income, or even more personal, his general way of being. Coming from a youngster certainly speaks loudly to the level of discomfort. It just may spark something good in your pop.
Philadelphia PA			Username hidden (1612 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hmmm ;).
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12289 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My dear, I'd have complete control of you while my cock is in your mouth. You know it.
Avondale LA			Username hidden (4496 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I never suggested people walk around acting disrespectful. There is a difference between being disrespectful and not respecting someone. Hello, Mr. King of NOLA.
Concord CA			Username hidden (2087 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I think it is all this pussyfooting around that has created all the idiots we have today. I, personally, think the grandfather should be thankful his daughter even has anything to do, with him. I believe she should have written him off a long time ago. I know I would have. Carrie
Corpus Christi TX			Username hidden (16535 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	For me, everyone has my respect initially... but can lose that respect based on actions. However, I'm not sure that just because I don't respect someone means that I will treat them rudely. Same would hold true for my children. I would not force them to feel respect for their grandfather as I would not want them to respect someone who acts as he does. But that would not excuse them from being rude or deliberately hurtful towards him. I don't think anything excuses that, but that is just my personality and also what I have (hopefully) instilled in my children.
Apollo PA			Username hidden (741 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I bet I can alter your behavior with your cock in my mouth!
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12289 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I'm of the mindset that I won't allow another human being to control my emotions or behaviors.
Avondale LA			Username hidden (4496 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Indeed, I'm of the mindset that respect is earned. Always have been. But, regardless of whether the grand dad/mom drinks, or not, a child should NOT speak that way to an elder of the family. I stated from the start, that I would explain to my child that despite the fact that he is right, he should not be speaking this way to his grandparent, and that I acknowledge my son's feelings, do not deny them, but would not speak to him/her that way. It's just the way the cookie crumbles in this household.
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12289 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	For example, I was at a self serve soda fountain and was filling up 5 drinks. An elderly man came up and started pushing me out of the way. Guess he thought he didn't need to wait his turn. I had no problems being rude or disrespectful to him. I also had no problems telling him at his age he should know how to treat people and he should be ashamed of himself. Carrie
Corpus Christi TX			Username hidden (16535 post)

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TOPIC: Question for parents of kids with shitty grandparents

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