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Newbies need HELP!!! : Swingers Discussion 398621011
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TOPIC: Newbies need HELP!!!
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Pa ain't all it seems, eastern and western Pa are loaded with swingers, beings they are major population areas. However if ya live in the middle of the state, ya better have a good vehicule and your own gas pump.

Mike

Bedford PA
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Don't plan on moving to PA just yet. As some from this state have already realized, there seems to be alot of PA people on this site, but not many that actually "play". Or else the people in this state are more "picky". I honestly don't know what it is, but from experience, it's hard to go from the couch talking to the bedroom playing.

Just my take.

Lora

Pittston Township PA
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Cplis, I'm sorry if you felt we were "critizing" your profile. I don't think it was meant that way by anyone. You asked for "serious input" and you were given input from people who have been in the lifestyle looking for the same thing you were. The ever elusive single female. I don't believe anyone was trying to tell you to change your preference. We were just trying to let you know how frustrating it is to find that ever fantasized mff. I hope you don't take others opinions and experiences as a way of telling you to change your preference. That wasn't what anyone was trying to do. We all were just trying to let you know that if you are going to look for that single bi female, it's going to be a long uphill battle. Try not to take people's opinions as if they are trying to tell you what you should or shouldn't be looking for. It's just people's opinions and experiences. I'm sure we all wish you luck in finding what you are looking for.

Lora

Pittston Township PA
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we have met quite a few people from sites meet and greets clubs etc.Don't worry time is always a plus.Never get in a rush.Things have to be just right for anything to happen. You will also see people who have less then 5 years are more hesitant to jump in wth both feet . They have more rules such as will not play on the first meet.Its no big deal go with the flow. Keep your profile in what you want,. it makes absolutely no sense to change a profile to something you are not interested in at all.To us saying you want a bifemale then say you want a couple with a bifemale , then not doing anything with the other male makes you unreal. Things spread like wildfire in the swing circles.Its amazing how faat it does spread. Keep your wants needs and desires. In the same breath if you have a more stringent guideline to follow that will always make your chances of a hookup less. That should not matter to have that quality over quanity

Sarasota FL
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We make very few meeting contacts through SLS (or the other web site we're involved in, for that matter) as my wife prefers that we meet people at clubs or Meet & Greets. That works out very well. If someone contacts us, we suggest that we'll be at a certain place at a certain time. If they show up, great - we meet. If they don't, there are others there. If they show up and we don't click, there are other options for all of us as well. This has virually eliminated the problems mentioned here (for us). It does, however, limit us to those who are willing to attend the functions we attend. But Mrs O prefers it that way, and I comply.

Baltimore MD
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Naturally we can't speak for anyone but ourselves, but we really don't meet many new swingers unless we run into them at a party hosted by already-existing friends of ours.

I suspect many couples are like us, with extremely busy lives and enough swinging friends already that it's tough to find time to see them, given that they too have busy lives and schedules.

It boggles my mind to see that people contact "dozens" of other couples at a time. We simply couldn't arrange to meet the couples who respond positively in time to keep their attention. So when we do contact a new couple it's because they are SO much like us that they clearly stand out from the rest. Even so, with our busy schedules we have sometimes had trouble finding a mutually-acceptable date to meet, and once or twice we have been accused of "playing games" or not being "real" because we couldn't meet a couple within the next couple of weeks after we started e-mailing each other.

The result is that we probably only iniitiate contact with one or two couples a year, and respond positively to one or two more who contact us first.

So, are we "serious" about swinging? Yes, but we are also serious about our careers, or families, and our lives outside of swinging, and about keeping the swinging friendships we have already established.

Patience is a virtue. You may miss out on something really wonderful by being impatient and accusing others of not being real or playing games.

Just our experience. Your mileage may vary.

Jim

South Riding VA
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Hi,

I was reading through this topic and Cplisobi_f4fun says, "We're honest, fun-loving, d/d FREE and just want to have good times before we die."

C'mon, guys, don't panic. You're only forty-something!

Pretty strange, though, in my opinion, that couples have such difficulty hooking up with couples. I expect that as a single wanting to meet couples, but couple-to-couple? I'm still surprised, and it seems to be a common malaise here on SLS.

I'm only guessing, but I really believe that at least 75% of the people on here are not really serious about swinging, and are "fringe element" voyeuristic types who get off on talking about it but making all kinds of excuses for never doing it. Or else they are too darned frightened to actually go through with a sexual encounter once they go so far. Or else they are single guys masquerading as couples.....who really knows?

Anyway, all the advice I've read is good. It can be frustrating, but every couple I have been with have been very, very nice people. I have met NO strange, rude or bizarre people at all. It has all been fun and positive.

So, don't give up.

San Luis Obispo CA
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Cplis,

Figure that about 80% of people DON'T reply. Then figure that of those who do, MOST won't be right for you (or you for them).

Don't shotgun everyone. But look for compatable people and send a dozen notes out at a time (to different people).

Worse thing that happens is you get a dozen replies and have a few weeks of dates set up ;)

Upland CA
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Have you SEARCHED for people you want? SLS has a great search engine. Have you contacted people you think fit with you?

Ya CAN'T always just sit back and wait for people to contact you.

Upland CA
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I kinda thought your Elmo pic was cute, tho I like the new one, too : )

Clovis CA
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TOPIC: Newbies need HELP!!!