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TOPIC: Mixed_Metaphors_and_Idiotic_Idioms
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"Cumcrastination. Putting off your orgasm for as long as possible."

So a few weeks ago I had a couple over to spend the day and as the wife and I started playing, I was ready to pop and I knew she wouldn't be happy waiting for me to recover. Soooo....my method of cumcrastination is to think of something totally off the wall so I started thinking about ducks. But not just any ducks, I have a pair of mallards that come back every year and I started wondering if the early warm weather would bring them back earlier than normal. The distraction worked and I was able to postpone the orgasm but the funniest part is, when we went downstairs for a break, the ducks were in my backyard next to my pool! I CONJURED the ducks to my house!

New Orleans LA
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Cumcrastination. Putting off your orgasm for as long as possible.

Belle Chasse LA
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How did I miss this???? Typical of me; A dollar late and a day short !

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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That's funny, Fun!

I'm starting to be able to read you like an open can of worms... or like the back of my book.

Gibsonia PA
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A college football coach was telling me about one of his "verbally challenged" players who often took himself out of practices and games due to minor injuries. When the trainer asked him why he couldn't play through a muscle spasm in his back, the player said "I don't wanna end up one of them parapathetics." The coach showed little sympity for him.

Belle Chasse LA
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Until you guys help rebuild that list of good ones that we had in the previous thread, you're stuck with another Yogi Berra-ism:

"I made a wrong mistake."

Belle Chasse LA
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How have we gone two whole days without a single Yogi Berra quote in here? Here's one:

"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."

Belle Chasse LA
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I just looked it up, J ~~ it's real. Safe as houses, meaning very safe...can't fail.

I learn things all the time here and then I have to lie as to where I found out about it :(

You're lying through your nose.

Kat

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I'm not sure jandsc... but my old gramma used to say, "snug as a bug in the carpet of the safe house."

...but if worse comes to shove, just remember that ignorance is golden. :^/

Gibsonia PA
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Serious question, punsters: Is "safe as houses" a real idiom or one my granny made up?

Cincinnati OH
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TOPIC: Mixed Metaphors and Idiotic Idioms
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