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There once was a man from Nantucket His dick was so long he could suck it As he said with a grin as he wiped off his chin If my ass were a cunt I would fuck it

Surprised someone didn't post this one already, lol

Port Saint Lucie FL
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Oh, no, it cannot be that he is getting older So it must be, on his head, the various type boulder, To cause Mr SA such pain That's he's had to complain That now he has limited use of his shoulder.

So, once your shoulder has had time to heal, I think your lovely ladies will gladly make this deal: That you should lie back on your bed, While tits surround your OTHER head And then it certainly won't be any pain that you feel.

San Antonio TX
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We sure miss our forum friend, Fun... whose charm and quick wit are never outdone. But if we make a fuss, or let his loss get to us... then it means that the terrorists have won!

Gibsonia PA
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There are things some men will never understand. There are worse things in life than going home with your dick in your hand. To use any hole that will lighten your load is the mantra they shout so bold Forget about chemistry, don’t look for charm Do whatever it takes to save your own arm.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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While some find Nic's status a mystery and resort to methods of slithery they would know 'bout his junk and knock off the bunk after examining his history

Windermere FL
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Those wiley SLS elves Into our profiles thoroughly delves Unfortunately only Nic Has a twat AND a prick Or they could just go fuck themselves

Ocean City NJ
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There once was a poster named Nic Whose flirtatious comments were slick. How often he hosted The women he toasted! This man had the happiest dick.

Now someone says he's not a swinger Because there's no girl...what a zinger! The name is irrelevant When sex is the element. His prowess is quite the hum dinger!

Sheboygan Falls WI
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I also posted that in here before, apparently.

The Song "Friggin' in the Riggin'" (here as done by the Sex Pistols) is entirely composed of limericks.

I made a slight adjustment to the lyrics to remove the non-limerick chorus.

It was on the good ship Venus By Christ, ya shoulda seen us The figurehead was a whore in bed And the mast, a mammoth penis

The captain of this lugger He was a dirty bugger He wasn't fit to shovel shit From one place to another

The captain's name was Morgan By Christ, he was a gorgon Ten times a day he'd stop and play With his fuckin' organ

The first mate's name was Cooper By Christ he was a trooper. He jerked and jerked until he worked Himself into a stupor

The second mate was Andy By Christ, he had a dandy Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock For cumming in the brandy

The cabin boy was Flipper He was a fuckin' nipper He stuffed his ass with broken glass And circumcised the skipper

The Captain's wife was Mabel To fuck she was not able So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits Across the barroom table

The Captain had a daughter Who fell in deep sea water And by her squeals we knew the eels Had found 'er sexual quarters

Windermere FL
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One of my first posts in this thread, 463 days ago:

Sailors are known for their bawdy drinking songs. Here's the first one I ever heard, which happens to be in limerick form:

On board the good ship Venus, By God you shoulda seen us, The figurehead  was a chippie in bed, Sucking the old man's penis. 

The captain of this lugger, He was a dirty bugger, He wasn't fit  to shovel shit From one place to another. 

The first mate's name was Morgan He was a grisly gorgon Twice a day  he'd strum away Upon his sexual organ. 

The Captain's wife was Mable Whenever she was able She'd give the crew  A daily screw Upon the mess hall table. 

The cook, his name was Freeman He was a dirty demon He'd feed the crew  A menstrual stew And hymens fried in semen. 

The captain's randy daughter Went swimming in the water Delighted squeals  came as the eels Entered her sexual quarter. 

The bosun's mate was Chopper By Christ he had a whopper Across the deck  once round his neck and up his arse for a stopper. 

The Cabin boy was Nipper He was a little ripper He'd stuff his ass with broken glass Which circumcised the skipper. 

Oh, and there is a chorus:

Frigging in the rigging Wanking on the planking Masturbating  on the grating That's fucking all we do.

New Orleans LA
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Pissar!

Ocean City NJ
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TOPIC: LIMERICKS Thread -
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