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FORUMS General Discussions Open Forum LIMERICKS Thread -
TOPIC: LIMERICKS Thread -
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There once was a poster named Nic Whose flirtatious comments were slick. How often he hosted The women he toasted! This man had the happiest dick.

Now someone says he's not a swinger Because there's no girl...what a zinger! The name is irrelevant When sex is the element. His prowess is quite the hum dinger!

Sheboygan Falls WI
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I also posted that in here before, apparently.

The Song "Friggin' in the Riggin'" (here as done by the Sex Pistols) is entirely composed of limericks.

I made a slight adjustment to the lyrics to remove the non-limerick chorus.

It was on the good ship Venus By Christ, ya shoulda seen us The figurehead was a whore in bed And the mast, a mammoth penis

The captain of this lugger He was a dirty bugger He wasn't fit to shovel shit From one place to another

The captain's name was Morgan By Christ, he was a gorgon Ten times a day he'd stop and play With his fuckin' organ

The first mate's name was Cooper By Christ he was a trooper. He jerked and jerked until he worked Himself into a stupor

The second mate was Andy By Christ, he had a dandy Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock For cumming in the brandy

The cabin boy was Flipper He was a fuckin' nipper He stuffed his ass with broken glass And circumcised the skipper

The Captain's wife was Mabel To fuck she was not able So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits Across the barroom table

The Captain had a daughter Who fell in deep sea water And by her squeals we knew the eels Had found 'er sexual quarters

Winter Garden FL
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One of my first posts in this thread, 463 days ago:

Sailors are known for their bawdy drinking songs. Here's the first one I ever heard, which happens to be in limerick form:

On board the good ship Venus, By God you shoulda seen us, The figurehead  was a chippie in bed, Sucking the old man's penis. 

The captain of this lugger, He was a dirty bugger, He wasn't fit  to shovel shit From one place to another. 

The first mate's name was Morgan He was a grisly gorgon Twice a day  he'd strum away Upon his sexual organ. 

The Captain's wife was Mable Whenever she was able She'd give the crew  A daily screw Upon the mess hall table. 

The cook, his name was Freeman He was a dirty demon He'd feed the crew  A menstrual stew And hymens fried in semen. 

The captain's randy daughter Went swimming in the water Delighted squeals  came as the eels Entered her sexual quarter. 

The bosun's mate was Chopper By Christ he had a whopper Across the deck  once round his neck and up his arse for a stopper. 

The Cabin boy was Nipper He was a little ripper He'd stuff his ass with broken glass Which circumcised the skipper. 

Oh, and there is a chorus:

Frigging in the rigging Wanking on the planking Masturbating  on the grating That's fucking all we do.

Belle Chasse LA
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Pissar!

Ocean City NJ
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I like twirling pasties to this song lol Frigging in the Riggin friggin in the riggin friggin in the riggin cause there fucking nothing else to do!

Louisville KY
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p.s. sorry you got stuck with a squeegee. I couldn't think of what else I could rhyme you with.

Winter Garden FL
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Yes, I didn't fully write it. I adapted it from "Friggin in the Riggin".

Winter Garden FL
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lol Mr Va my pirate friends sing this song at their shows. The original of course.

Louisville KY
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A Tale of the Forums of the High Seas....

It was on the good ship Venus Peghey you should have seen us The figurehead was a whore in bed And the mast, a mammoth penis

When sailing on this lugger I was a dirty bugger I tried to fit in a tight slit but landed in another

The Captain's name was Shelly She thought that I was smelly Ten times a day she'd try to lay upon my hairy belly

The first mate's name was PG She'd always take a squeegee She'd wipe and wipe without a gripe Until we were in Fiji

The second mate was Robert Whose Marxism was overt they crushed his cock on a jagged rock For jacking in the yogurt

The cabin girl was Carrie Her Little Friend was scary She'd use it nice and not think twice or care if it was hairy

The Navigator was Fun the girls liked to use his gun he pined and pined until they whined and stuck it into each one

And someone had a daughter Who fell in into the water And from her squeals we knew that eels Had found her sexual quarters

Winter Garden FL
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They say he's a god awful flirt, Your feelings and heart he will hurt, He's not all that bad And won't make you mad When your pussy he finally makes squirt!!!

San Diego CA
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TOPIC: LIMERICKS Thread -