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TOPIC: Just_Wondering
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I'm sure it sounds like I'm some sort of anal robot when it comes to thanksgiving dinner and such. I even planned out when everything went in/out of ovens and on/off of burners on an Excel sheet in order to hit it at exactly 3 pm as requested (an elderly diabetic needs precisely timed meals and insulin). It landed at 3:04.

Thing is - think of my house as a restaurant. You wouldn't order food in a restaurant and then wander back into the kitchen start fucking with stuff would you??? I'm quite happy to make lovely food and serve it up with a smile, but attempts to "help" mess with my timing and concentration, or they get distracted and mess it up.

Like "at least let me get rolls and butter on the table". Really. How hard is that?

Well....what if.. I put the rolls in the oven to warm them. Oh come on this is taking too long. Fine. Set it to 550. Butter is hard. Nuke it.

Oh cool - something interesting on my phone.

5 minutes later I have an oven full of burned dinner rolls and a microwave full of splattered boiled forgotten butter.

Seriously!!!! Stop helping!!'

Windermere FL
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Haha.

In the days leading up to thanksgiving I sequestered all of the food I would need for the day in a cupboard or parts of the fridge with stickers on them saying "THANKSGIVING".

Don't laugh. Far too many times in the past I have gone to make thanksgiving/Christmas dinner only to find that something critical was consumed on a whim, and nothing is open for us to replace it.

Once I needed a couple teaspoons of peanut butter for something, had a brand new jar and thought I was safe, and found out at the zeroeth hour that our son ate the entire jar of peanut butter that morning. That shit happens in this house.

Windermere FL
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Sour cream?...Cheese?...Pumpkin pie?...

Shoulda invited vegans.

Just saying.

BT

New Orleans LA
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What does the sticky note say on the pool table?

"Please don't dirty the pool table we fuck on it"

Rutherford NJ
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Only 8 people? And that much chaos?

I would not invite them again, family or not.

At least some of that shit is on purpose. No eight people cause that much damage on accident...

Fullerton CA
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"I have had guests in the house for a few days and have a ruined tablecloth, busted microwave, lost big mixing bowl, a freezer that was left open a crack overnight and filled with frost, 4 open containers of sour cream, at least 5 open packages of cheese, 3 different loaves of French bread in progress, a busted Kuerig, 3 half-eaten pumpkin pies..."

It's your own fault for having Tramp over for dinner. *sticks tongue out*

Waxahachie TX
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To some extent, I understand. I understand that none of them have a pool, a really nice kitchen, french doors, automated sprinklers (one of those is somehow busted now too!?!?!? - shot water about 20 feet in the air last night) etc.

But I will tell you this - when I was dirt poor myself, I sure as HELL knew not to use a fucked pool table as a goddamn countertop. When I began finding half-drank wine glasses and dishes on the pool table, I actually got noticeably agitated. Like - right there on the felt. WTF!?!?

Windermere FL
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depending on how many people you had over."

We have been 8 since Wednesday. We are reduced to 6 now until Sunday.

Also - our daughter, faced with a door that wouldn't open as expected, cranked the arm and pushed hard. Because, if a door isn't opening, obviously that's what you're supposed to do. So now the door latch to my office is busted too.

And the guest towels got bleached by a well-meaning soul trying to help with laundry.

And two nights in a row the cat got locked out of the laundry room (where her litter is) and she shit and pissed on the floor.

And the big tablecloth - got sent through the wash. With a new purple bedsheet.

So now the tablecloth is not only silver-stained, but is light purple. And the new purple bedsheet has silver cleaner stains on it.

STOP.... FUCKING.... HELPING... JW: how much more do I have to make you people to drink to keep you out of my kitchen?!??! I can't fix things as fast as everyone is breaking them.

I have shut the pool lights off perhaps 5 times an afternoon because for some reason people keep turning them on. I have now in my frustration placed sticky notes ALL over the house with instructions not to fuck with things. Like - unplugging the internet router. WHY would you unplug the internet router in someone else's house???

Windermere FL
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LOL ...people suck!

Rutherford NJ
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"I have had guests in the house for a few days and have a ruined tablecloth, busted microwave, lost big mixing bowl, a freezer that was left open a crack overnight and filled with frost, 4 open containers of sour cream, at least 5 open packages of cheese, 3 different loaves of French bread in progress, a busted Kuerig, 3 half-eaten pumpkin pies..."

I can see the food part, depending on how many people you had over. But breaking both your microwave and Keurig?

Did you have an after election riot over at your place???

Fullerton CA
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TOPIC: Just Wondering
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