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Is swinging women lead : Swingers Discussion 43159
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TOPIC: Is swinging women lead
Created by: fit2swing
Original Starting post for this thread:
My experience in the lifestyle is that swinging is now, for the most part supposed to be women lead. To an extent woman make the big connections and when the women are ready they agree to go take couples to the room. The reason not saying I agree, or disagree is that the male may try to force his urges like a "rude" single male just to fuck another woman, or not be as sensitive to their spouses needs like "tickets" should we try to get rid of the term 'wife swapping"

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It does seem, from our experience, that the women make the decisions on who is playing with whom. We've seen plenty of instances where it was a group of guys joking around and talking while the ladies were out on the dance floor or off to the side doing their own thing. We've also seen many parties where a handful of women were playing together and their spouses were sitting around watching. Not exactly a recipe for a great time IMHO.

Since I pretty much border on the uninterested side when it comes to girl/girl play, we typically find a group with a mix of straight and bisexual women.

Houston TX
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Hmmmm. In deciding "to play or not to play" with a couple, we indeed make a joint decision and neither of us ever will take one for the team.

At clubs or private house parties, though, the scene is definitely a "lady's choice" scenario. Every private party we've attended has been one where couples don't just match up with another couple (which would be a joint decision). Rather, couples freelance and choose a PLAYMATE, not a couple, to go off with and enjoy. So at parties, it's lady's choice and the men avoid being pushy and wait to be approached or at least to "read signals" of interest before suggesting play.

So the men are like puppies in the pet store window, with their tongues hanging out at all the pretty ladies and trying to send the message "pick ME, pick ME!" LOL

South Riding VA
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ROFLMAO Jawwge. I'd have to say we're totally a team in deciding play.

Saint Augustine FL
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Do women lead in swingin??? I gotta ask Jackie.

Mike

Bedford PA
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Seems we got off the beaten track on this topic. It is not about women being sexier or better looking that men.

It is about which one is the leader in obtaining the playmate of the night.

Las Vegas NV
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I totally agree doc. Some women know how to move. Most wait to be moved on.

I move. I have a cute hubby to prove it.

Glen Burnie MD
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I think the point is being lost. The topic doesn't revolve around individual couples. It's the global game.

The reason I posted some of the "rules" was to illistrate this point.

Look at the various givens in swinging. -no means no. -do not touch, join in, or escalate the play with out asking. -Merely because I'm not wearing clothes doesn't mean I'm game.

I'm drawing a blank tonight. I can't think of any more.

My point? The lifestyle is full of WOMEN'S rules surrounding sex. Generally, these are not rules men subscribe to.

Both partners have the first right of refusal regarding sex. This is a healthy relationship. But the lifestyle is RUN by women's rules.

I hope that explains my point in a more clear manner.

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
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women are more selective ,they usually want more out of a relationship then most men.Thats why there are so many mismatched in a physical appearance with couples. So, just because they say no, more ,that means women lead?It just means they say no more often.We both agree the stronger the woman, usually the weaker the male is and she leads in all aspects of life.We tend to believe that there are more strong willed ,educated, highly motivated women in swing Another question here. who leads in the angle of setting up the meets with other couples?

Sarasota FL
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Loverboy:

"mischief i know a lot of females that complained that there male lovers don't give them sex as much as they want or need."

What does that have to do with the topic?. I suggest this does NOT apply to swinger women. Suggest Swingers are very much more bonded (in general/higher percentage) to their partner than regular married folks. I suspect swinger women get plenty at home.

Have you looked at my profile? Men are optional for me. I feel the need for one every few years. I relish rare, quality, male attention, at any time. Exceptions would be made for some of the select males on this site. (wink)

" an i think with out male sperm you or any other female would not be here"

There is at least one species of lizard that is ALL female. For breeding purposes, a male or two is generated to allow individuals to mix genetic material. I recall something about parthenogenesis* in the same species.

" .an for rules like no means no . most times its the male half that has to put there boot in some one ass when they cross that line ."

Not in my ecomony. I fly alone. I enforce my own rules, keep myself safe, and pull the plug on anything NOT ok. I protect my gf from unwanted touching. I politely point out the potential for ejection, if they continue. I'm usually very friendly with the bouncers.

"but need less to say if (d) says were staying home an there is going to be no play. then there is no play lol."

so..All of your points aside..She still rules the roost regarding sex. That was my exact point. Women are incharge of sex.

Mischief<--likes males. Not interested in their reproductive contribution. Yikes.

*parthenogenesis=virgin birth "a form of reproduction in which the ovum develops into a new individual without fertilization. Natural parthenogenesis has been observed in many lower animals"

Glen Burnie MD
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to us its the one who is more open, who can move around a crowd more easily sets the tone.The one that can open a conversation with ease and with everyones best interest at hand . Whether its the female or male.I know in our case its much easier for me to communicate with strangers, I do this very thing on a daily basis with my line of work.Suzy on the other hand sees the same people day in and day out from young adults to the adults that are there.She is more comfortable in a knowing setting You hear the old standby if the female does not want to have sex then sex is not given, same holds true when the male is not interested in the female.I will agree most males do not have the same standards as females in who they are with.(Not always though.) A single female is in total control of what she does , a couple shares the control in who they choose to be with. I may need clarification on what we are saying as being in control,who starts the conversation , who makes contact , who sets the time place where you meet the others, how and when it goes to the next level. etc.I know for us for instance we both know with a look to one another if we wish to take this a step farther, when we meet another couple.There are times we have had to say our code word when it was a no way right away or into the conversation.Which we both have used.Normally this is what we call a maybe connection.One where we do not know right away whether we want more I would think more couples were like this, then to allow only one total control over what the both of you do.All of the couples we know operate in this very same manor. We have been to clubs where I was off talking to people we knew while Suzy will be chatting with another couple.She wil come over to me and ask if they are ok to go off with. I have complete trust in who she chooses for us to be with when she does this. What is your idea of control on swinging?

Sarasota FL
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TOPIC: Is swinging women lead