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Ideal First Meetings : Swingers Discussion 2105401081
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TOPIC: Ideal First Meetings
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An "ideal" first meeting depends on the people more than the place.

Most of my initial meets are simply for drinks, not dinner. Sometimes, if we already have a pretty good feel that things will click, it is at the couple's home. And if there's a very strong mutual feeling that things are good, it's at the arrival area of the airport.

Belle Chasse LA
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Although I generally "know" how Mrs. VA is feeling about people we just met, we have a non-verbal communication system established that allows us to decide about whether or not we go forward.

I like to say that both of us always have unquestioned veto power - if either of us says no - about anything - it's a no. No arguing or trying to change the other's mind. If we discuss later, it's for the purposes of understanding what the other is thinking, not trying to change their mind.

Chesapeake VA
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our ideal first meet is simply a fun, normal couple that is not 6 months from divorce...who enjoy dancing and listening to classic rock music. Thats it. My standards are really low, you'd think I'd be easy to please. WRONG ANSWER lol


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We're with scandle on this. If the conversation works on SLS and by phone, we prefer to meet for a casual meal in a public place. We tell people up front that we do not play on a first meet. Gets rid of all of the expectations and pressures. It also means that there are no unmet expectations if we are invited to someone's home for quieter conversation, dessert, glass of wine etc. This happens with some frequency, we think because some topics of discussion might raise eyebrows on the part of whoever might be listening at the next table. Public places are never really private in the iPhone age...

Atlanta GA
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"The fact that your game is so different, yet with similar end results, is no big deal."

Other than being insensitive or outright inconsiderate to the point of being rude, I don't think there is a right or wrong way. We have modified our approach over the years as we have learned new ways. Hopefully, we all grow. We are all shaped by our experiences.

Sacramento CA
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always, if it works for you and presumably for the other couple, I have no problem with it. I can see how in some cases it might actually be fun, but only if everyone wanted to keep the lovefest going.

Mr. Scandle and I have a method that works for us that would not fit your wishes or your schedule, and likely seems overly cautious or slow to some. We cherish our private conversations to figure out what we both want to do. The fact that your game is so different, yet with similar end results, is no big deal.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Scandle,

We (answering very cautiously) have. When we were newbies it was shown to us and we have used it on a couple of dates with newbies. With experienced playmates it's not necessary. We have very little time to play and have stated in our profile and discussed in either email or IM's that if there is enough chemistry to move forward that everyone should be prepared to play on the first date.

Sacramento CA
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always, is that the method you use?

When we meet people for a meal, we always let them know that all parties can discuss it privately and later decide whether to get together again. A second date means we're moving forward.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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We prefer weeknight drinks or coffee as a first meeting. It is fast and easy with no ambiguity about the potential for play and not a huge time commitment.

We don't need a "code word" to let the other know our feelings about the people we are meeting and that red chip/green chip system is absurd. I can immediately tell how Mr.Cincy feels about the couple or SM and vice versa.

Cincinnati OH
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"black ball' method. "

Was the reader digest version. Fleshing it out a bit...

Preferred Venue = coffee house, tea house ( for non drinkers & costs are lower if that's an issue) Local sports bar "off hours" ( less noise and distraction)

If things are on the positive side and no one indicates a disconnect.

Ask if they want to play a game. Always intriguing (in a public place)

Then pull out the game and see where it goes.

Sacramento CA
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TOPIC: Ideal First Meetings