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Funny-Weird-Awesome Craigslist Ads : Swingers Discussion 223223
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TOPIC: Funny-Weird-Awesome Craigslist Ads
Created by: cplofunswingers
Original Starting post for this thread:
washingtondc.craigslist. org/nva/mcy/3846641990.html

"harley sportster bike is not for sale - $2500 (dc)

If i see anyone trying to buy my harley i will follow you home and pee all-over you. my wife christi has lost her mind. fwi the bike still has a lien.

thanks for looking"

Hahaha. He must have pissed off his wife.

T

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For a good time call ww w. yousuckatcraigslist . c om

Long Beach CA
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I wouldn't spend a dime over 200, myself.

T

Danville PA
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hahaha

Is your pet guinea pig tired of wandering around the house unarmored and vulnerable? Do they get picked on by other guinea pigs? Has your guinea pig ever wanted to go with you to a Renaissance Faire but had nothing to wear? Fear not! A solution is here!

some people have way too much time on their hands. besides, $280. for guinea pig armor is way too high!

Philadelphia PA
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Not Craiglist, but too awesome not to share.

ebay. com/itm/Hand-made-Guinea-Pig-Scale-Mail-and-Helmet-Armor-/321142440749

T

Danville PA
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i wonder if he got anyone to respond to that add lol

Philadelphia PA
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Haha. It's a personal ad, but holy shit that's awesome.

T

Danville PA
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http: //www .craigslist. org/about/b est/orl/740493470.html

Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.

You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.

I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.

Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.

When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.

When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like "OH GOD", "YES", OR "IT HURTS" no other conversation is allowed.

When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop"

If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.

I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.

Toms River NJ
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ouch!

Philadelphia PA
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Harsh, but just. You don't even want to know what the punishment is for a 2nd offense, but it involves lube and a cactus.

T

Danville PA
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omg, thats a bit harsh isnt it cpl?

Philadelphia PA
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(2062 posts)
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TOPIC: Funny-Weird-Awesome Craigslist Ads