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Ever had better than your spouse : Swingers Discussion 2203441021
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsOpen ForumEver had better than your spouse
TOPIC: Ever had better than your spouse
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Yep.

That's one of the reasons I divorced her and married the woman I'm with now.

Pittsburgh PA
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very glad you are.

San Antonio TX
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I appreciate everybody's responses. Hubby and I were talking last night and I asked him, "What if that ever happens? Would we be prepared for it?" I said, "Hey let's ask for opinions on the forum and see what others have experienced." All good responses. I especially like yours, Gina. The more we communicate, the more I see how much alike we are. Neither my husband nor I think it will ever really happen because there is a difference between making love and just having good sex. Not to mention we are so much more comfortable with each other that we can relax and just understand each other desires. But we have had awesome sex with others, and are excited by exploring. Every time, we have always felt closer to each other... and that's why we are still here in the lifestyle.

San Antonio TX
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One more little bit from me: it's like the parent who says to one of her kids, "Your brother is so much better at everything than you are. Why can't you be more like him?"

That is so very damaging to that relationship. You can take that same idea, and apply it here. Even its reverse, when a parent says to a child, even one on one, "Wow, you are so much better than your brother at everything. I wish he was more like you."

Either way, it's very hurtful.

So whether you say to a spouse, "Wow, her husband is so much better at sex than you are, why can't you be more like him?" or you whisper to the swing partner privately, "You are so much better than my husband." You can easily see that both statements are damaging to a relationship. And if there is cause to say either of those things, then you need to work on the relationship itself, or end it. Enough said from me on this one.

G.

San Antonio TX
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And I can't imagine my husband EVER saying to me, "Wow, I really had better sex with her than I do with you." That would just be cruel.

Or me saying, "Gee, honey, he's a lot better than you."

I CAN imagine saying, "That was really cool last night how "so and so" grabbed me and flipped my legs apart." Or hubby can say, "she actually deep throated me." Etc. etc . Okay, those are details. They are not comparisons, like, "well she deep throated me and you can't, so she's better." No way.

Details, yes. Unkind comparisons? No. If there are things you want your spouse to try that someone else has done successfully, take them into consideration, and just simply ask, "I'd like to try..." whatever it is. But if you or your spouse would say, "wow, I wish you were more hung like "so and so" or I wish you would do..." whatever and you KNOW your spouse can't or won't be able to comply, then that's just being hurtful. There is honest, and there is hurtful, and I would never advise being intentionally hurtful to someone you love.

If your spouse isn't meeting your needs, and you WANT better sex with your spouse and you're not getting it, but you're getting it from others, then THAT is an entirely different issue and you should not be swinging until you get it resolved.

Good topic question for discussion.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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I guess I just consider it "different" sex, not better than what I have with Hubby. There are things we do with others that we don't do with each other, positions maybe, or angles, or whatever, which might make it more interesting at the time, and certainly satisfying, but not actually "better."

I'm with whomever said that about comparisons. I don't like to "compare." Just as I have friends who meet different needs, one isn't necessarily a "better" friend to me than the other one, they all are wonderful and I like them for different reasons.

My husband is so secure in himself that we are made for each other, and compatible sexually, mentally, emotionally, etc. I think that might make the difference. Someone else may have a bigger cock, wrap my legs around his shoulders and look me in the eyes, and maybe some other woman might be able to ride him like a bronco, or give him a better blow job than I do...but those are just details. Good sex. GREAT sex, interesting sex, playing out a fantasy sex, different sex, hot sex, so-so sex, friendly giggly sex, in the pool sex, group sex, wild sex, fetish sex...it's like a big fruit salad of sex. I like bananas, strawberries, blueberries, apples. etc. Or desserts. But my husband is my nourishment.

Bottom line is that I've never had more orgasms than I have with my husband, and he's never come harder or faster or more often than he does with me.

Yes, we get comfortable with each other. And sometimes maybe we have "boring married sex," although I can't recall sex ever being boring. We get into our favorite position maybe more often than if we try new things, but the new things add to our sex life, they don't make it better or worse.

Enjoy it all. And don't worry about someone or something perhaps being better. I get a kick out of learning or seeing a woman do something different than I do with my husband, and maybe I'll try it, or maybe I'll just let that be something special that they can do together. I've said this before: bc of a torn meniscus in my knee(s), it's hard for me to be face forward and riding on top. My husband enjoys this position, and I'm glad he has a few willing special swing ladies who will take that initiative with him. he doesn't even have to ask. It's a GOOD thing.

Different bodies, different techniques, different styles, different positions, different orgasms...all of it is different and adds to our "spice of life." Yet it doesn't have to mean it's better or worse.

At the end of any swing experience, the person I want to be with the most, and fuck the most, even if we have to wait until the next day because we're worn out, is my husband, and his is me.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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i say no, because hubby knows just the right things to do, and love makes it even better.

Philadelphia PA
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YES...I have... depending on what it is you try to incorporate into your sex life...or maybe it was a once in a lifetime setting...

Or you quit having sex with your wife and make that wonderful woman your GF....

Henrietta NY
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Yes.

But no one is better making love.

Recsex and lovesex are different. Have both with each other but only recsex with lifestylers.

Westerly RI
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I have had equal to but not better.

Parsippany NJ
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TOPIC: Ever had better than your spouse