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Divorce : Swingers Discussion 223169
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TOPIC: Divorce
Created by: maxwellcouplega
Original Starting post for this thread:
Is the divorce rsate higher among swingers?

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You are so right about my failed word choice. I was typing as fast as I could and didn't catch it. Thank you.

Cheating is more a result of inner problems. The manifestation, if you will.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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"Most marriages don't break up over cheating...they break up for the reasons the cheating happened in the first place."

Agreed completely.

"The cheating is usually the catalyst, or final straw, etc."

I know the point you're making, but catalyst is the wrong word. The problems that lead to the cheating would be the catalyst, such as feeling neglected, feeling disconnected, not spending enough time together, lack of compliments, abuse, etc, etc.

T

Danville PA
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Someone mentioned that couples who swing don't have the "cheat factor." 1. Swingers also can cheat, and do. 2. Most marriages don't break up over cheating...they break up for the reasons the cheating happened in the first place. The cheating is usually the catalyst, or final straw, etc. No, I have no stats to back that up, just people experience. 3. People are still narrow minded, even swingers, about swinging. Swinging is not "license to cheat," nor is it an excuse, nor is it a replacement, or an alternative to cheating. Cheating is cheating, being deceptive, dishonest, disrespectful.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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I totally misunderstood the intent of your post. I thought you were saying that if a couple got married, had kids, divorced and then got remarried (to each other) that their kids would also be their step kids.

Thought it was a poor attempt at humor on your part. My bad.

T

Danville PA
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I'm sure it works that way, some of the time. Every situation will be different. It's not as if every parent/co-parent/step-parent is always available. But that's actually rare in any arrangement, including the 2-parent household of the 21st Century.

Flat Rock NC
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I don't think it works that way.

T

Danville PA
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If you split up and re-marry (or re-attach), your kids could have twice as many parents, in theory; counting step-parents.

Flat Rock NC
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My parents were separated for about 15 years before they actually got a divorce. And I don't even remember why they finally did. It's been quite a long time, but I think my mom may have (briefly) gotten engaged, which was what prompted the divorce. Had it not been for that, they'd probably still be a happily married couple who live 600 miles apart.

My parents are in the vast minority, but they are best friends and terrible partners. As a kid, they still did joint parenting even though my mom was the custodial parent. So just about anytime I got out of line, my dad got a phone call. And if need be, he'd come over to the house to administer some fatherly discipline. There were no visitation limits for my dad. He could come see me every day of the week if he wanted to. Or I could go see him. Family events, special occasions, and holidays always included both parents. Even to this day, they still talk on the phone a couple times a month. If my dad makes a trip up from NC to see his parents, he'll usually spend a day or 2 at my mom's even though she lives almost 3 hours from his parents.

It was great as a kid for them to get along so well. Hell, it's great as an adult for them to get along. Wish I could have anything even resembling that type of relationship with my ex.

T

Danville PA
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My wife and I have been split for almost four years, but not officially divorced. There is a new trend called "undivorced" referring to people who separate permanently but remain married, whether for practical or emotional reasons, or both. We are sufficiently connected in our business interests and shared parenting that we decided to remain married despite living 1000 miles apart.

My ex and I never swung. She had no interest. When we did split, after twenty five years of fidelity, a big reason was that I was not comfortable with monogamy and no longer wanted to repress the temptations that felt healthy and natural.

Amherst Canada
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"In the last year I have seen 4 swinging couples end their marriages, 3 of them were for cheating. "

Do you think they wouldn't have cheated if they hadn't been swinging?

I guess it could be that someone just wants to cheat, and swinging lets them meet some prospects.

Flat Rock NC
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TOPIC: Divorce