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Curious about bi people : Swingers Discussion 44166101
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TOPIC: Curious about bi people
Created by: Nymphomaniac The original post for this thread was deleted.
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"4Play, I don't see how it is submission if you give your power away [Willingly that is]. "

(IMO) There is positive and negative power. My opinion of positive power is when somebody who is in a position of power is using his or her position to enhance or improve desirability, or attractiveness. Opposed to negative power that is used to exploit or hurt people.

Negative power would be when somebody is using his or her gender, position or status to manipulate or intimidate another.

Narcissism plays a role in power and abuse situations. Narcissism is the part of a person who believes it is omnipotent and that it should remain in control at all times. With narcissism there is an urgency to be best, to know it all and to have no weaknesses. Yet it is an arrogance I posses at times but not a partner I actively seek out! still I find them stimulating to overcome if I am able.

Giving power away during sex creates a euphoric response from even the most modest of partners in turn gives them confidence and willingness to accept and try new positions and ideas that have been created by you and appear in their mind to be their idea. Thus being submissive and dominant at the same time!

Brownwood TX
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I too have only met a few people that equal or dominate my personality if I don't want them to but I will submit to women if they feel the need for power. This is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength!

Rule #1) If you want power give it away!

Brownwood TX
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I think we're talking about the same thing, just using individual slants or perspectives on the words. It isn't a "fuzzy wuzzy" happy-happy kind of safety that I seek and must feel from a person before I can submit. It's simply knowing that a person is strong enough. I've met few people who are my equal in mental strength (not necessarily intellect, simpy...strength. *Sigh* More fuzzy terminology. I apologize.), damn few among self-styled dominants. What I have to sense in the core of my being in order for my will to be subsumed to another's is that no matter what happens, they will be present, accounted for and never waver. Even if I screw up, particularly if *they* screw up, they are strong enough to deal with the consequences and will do so. They are always The Grown Up. That's the kind of safety I mean. Physical strength is certainly an added bonus. This isn't to say that I don't expect to provide emotional support to my partner when he needs it. He's my mate and my best friend as well. But to dominate me he also had to prove to me that he was rock-steady and not going to run when the going got rough. Otherwise large parts of me will be held in reserve, just waiting for the moment when I had to step in and be the one in control of a situation and I am not submitting under those circumstances--I learned that the hard way with a prior partner. Maybe this is something unique to me, and maybe I'm not explaining it very well.

Farmington MO
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I can understand your point, Polygirl. Perhaps it would be most accurate to say I have not yet met a woman to whom I could submit. However, without going into a lot of detail about my peculiar submissive tendencies, I would have to say that IME a woman who possesses that particular "something" that makes me truly know down to my core that a person is both mentally and physically stronger than me *and* capable of keeping me safe would be exceedingly rare. I've only encountered it in males, and honestly, that difficult-to-define quality is fairly rare there also. I hope this isn't coming across like I'm denigrating female dominants, or tops. Not at all. I can and do engage in SM with other women, on both sides of the spectrum, just not deeper power exchange. This is just a me thing, and siince I can only submit to one person at a time anyway and that position is taken :), not really an issue.

Farmington MO
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Oh yeah... guess we already did huh!

Brownwood TX
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I agree Nympho, but we are adding California to the tour!

Brownwood TX
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Why be bi? You know, it's gotta be nature, considering that I'm another one who has never had many female friends and has a dislike for certain girly-type personalities. But I've had relationships with women, as well as sex, and everything sexual I have done with males I have also done with females. I love women's bodies. I *love* sharing a woman sexually with my male partner. I also enjoy cuddling with women. However, women do not make me feel "safe" the way men do and while I have bottomed to other women (SM) I could never psychosexually submit to a women. They lack a certain "vibe" that I need from dominant partners.

Farmington MO
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<grabbing suitcase> Packing as we speak Nympho! LOL

Brownwood TX
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Nympho, Amen Girl! That is how we feel. Just because she is straight does not mean she wants your man or vise versa but a lot of couples do not understand that! Couldn't of said it any better Nympho!

Brownwood TX
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The reason we got into the lifestyle was the fact that me Mrs perma is bi. I have been in a relationship with a women. I know i prefer men to finish. But the feeling and touch of a women is so different from a man. I realized I really missed the female female playing when being the devote wife and not cheating. The desire grew so big I had to let loose so why not swing and enjoy it with my hubby. I do however agree lots of women aren't and just say and do for their hubbies. However it goes I am bi but enjoy men also. We prefer but do not require girl girl activities.. But if I had to choose it would be the str8 w bi fem not the str8.

To play straight its got to be harder to find a couple whom both want to be with.

Bridgeport PA
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TOPIC: Curious about bi people