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Can one be to young for the lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 397081041
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TOPIC: Can one be to young for the lifestyle
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Ditto, LOL

Center Valley PA
 
 
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well stated penbuttons, although at a tender 34 years old- hippies and rainbow people were WAY before my time! lol man you made me feel old and decrepit... :)

without taking any of your points as absolutes- i have a few comments to the contrary... not that you are wrong- just that i disagree. :) while boundaries have definitely blurred and pretty much deteriorated over the decades, i don't know that i equate that with faster maturity. just because now it's not taboo for a girl to publicly kiss a girl- but rather, kinda "MTV cool"- Bill Clinton and his "oral sex is not sex" proclaimation, that doesn't necessarily make your generation better equipped to HANDLE the lack of restrictions. some are, some aren't- but in GENERAL, i think it adds to an already confusing time in the lives of MOST 20 somethings.

ancient as i am (tonguein cheek humor here!!)- i remember my 20's being full of physical insecurities (though I give give my LEFT ARM to look THAT good again!), trying to wrap my head around who i was and what i wanted to accomplish in life, still understanding the different between love, lust, sex and making love- because it all felt the SAME until i figured it out! until i met someone who GOT IT like me, who was going in the same direction, had the same ultimate goal- yeah i partied and had fun, but some nights were so LONELY even when i wasn't alone...

no amount of boundry-free, over/early exposure to sex and adult sexual behaviors can guide one thru that- only EXPERIENCE makes one truly learn. and experience means more than DOING it in my mind- it's DEALING with it... do i make any sense?

i see where a certain type of young 20 something could get into this lifestyle and have relationships just as healthy and emotionally stable as their ELDERS- their the same ones who matured in other aspects of life quickly as well- career, goals, etc. But, realistically- i think that number is FAR below the number that will not be properly equipped, and will have far deeper issues with trust, confidence and intimacy than had they not dabbled so early in this thing...

you penbuttons, sound like the exception to the "rule". mmmmwah!

ciao,

X

Sterling VA
 
 
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Alas, Penbuttons Sweetie, you generalize WAY too much. We "ancients" are just as diverse as you young things. It's just that your experience with us "ancient mariners" is so much more limited than your experience with your own age group. Of course, that's the reason why ALL age groups have made the mistake of generalizing about every age group but that of their own peers.

Jim

South Riding VA
 
 
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Hell, we barely trust anyone under FIFTY! ROFL

Jim

South Riding VA
 
 
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Well..as 1/2 a couple under the 25 y/o mark, I think there needs to be a definete level of honsety & trust with someone before you can go about this lifestyle that you might not be able to get when you're just getting started as a couple. One the same note, we've been together 7.5 years so I think that we've had enough time to know & trust each other.

Wilmington DE
 
 
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i think it's an excellent topic! i know WE were too young at that age- we were married at 23 and still dealing with the petty jealousies, still growing "into marriage" still growing up ourselves! maturity had nothing to do with it- it was about being at that stable, comfortable place with yourself AND within your relationship.

by the time our first experience came along (PUN INTENDED...) we were firmly in a strong place, we had that faith in each other that makes the fantasy fulfillment of this lifestyle that much more satisfying. there was no question of loyalty of "are you doing this b/c I am not enough for you", you'll fall for her/him and leave me... we were beyond that!

young has 2 meanings in this instance- too young WITHIN a relationship, or too young- i.e.- immature, or unprepared- to deal with the feelings after the deed is done. age may or may not be a factor, considering how many old souls i've met in their early 20's.

ciao! X

Sterling VA
 
 
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We've been dabbling in things since we were both 19, yes we were married by then...lol. We only had chance encounters over they years and never did any of them occur less than a few years apart. We only started looking for other people openly when my wife decided she was interested in experiencing another woman. Thanks to the internet as we really had no idea how to proceed.

Jennings LA
 
 
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We think we got in at just the right time, the children were heading off to school and we had new found free time that we didn't have to devote to them.

Center Valley PA
 
 
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I started sport fucking at 20. I met my current husband at a sex party (1979). We were both married to other people. I had cut my teeth on most things by 23. (Novice PowerXchanges and sex.) It served to get it out of my system.

I maintained a fairly normal life for more than a decade. I started playing again 10 years ago, after I discovered the net.

I have been playing steadily since then. I have been married to my second husband for 20 years. My own take? You either bond or you don't. You either keep your emotional prespective or you don't. I learned how to ride storms back then. My mature status only serves to strengthen my ability to keep relationships & strong feelings in their proper place.

Yes, you can be too young. But I see it differently. Folks of all ages don't understand the work required to be non-monogamous. They think it's all fun and games. They underestimate the risk. They underestimate the communication, honesty, commitment, and plain ole' resolve that has to occur.

The water is deep. The current swift. This is not a gig for most folks regardless of age.

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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We would not have been ready for this lifestyle at the age of 21 or so but we think it has to be taken on a case by case basis. We have been with a younger couple in their early twenties and they were as open to each other as anyone we know. They had their own definition of the lifestyle as all of us do but they had it going on and knew how each other felt about the other and how much they wanted to make the other one happier. Thats all it takes to appreciate this lifestyle!

Brownwood TX
 
 
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TOPIC: Can one be to young for the lifestyle