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Can one be to young for the lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 397081031
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsOpen ForumCan one be to young for the lifestyle
TOPIC: Can one be to young for the lifestyle
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I (ladywife) was 22 when we entered the Lifestyle or whatever anyone wants to call it. (See other thread, oh my can we all argue semantics or what? LOL)Bacchus was 32 and had essentially been in it before but without the label. Back then it was just called "free love" or something like that. 25 years down the road we're more organized about it but I can't say my attitude was less mature then. IMHO swinging depends on the people not the age. We've encountered people in their 60's not mature enough for this. On the other hand we're some of those gross people who actually have done people younger than our children who range in age from 25 to 32. Some of these young couples are quite prepared to embrace swinging in a healthy manner.

Saint Augustine FL
 
 
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I do agree obladi, Bravo Y'all! Very interesting thread!

Brownwood TX
 
 
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Justy an observation from a non-participant... This has to be one of the most fascinating discussions I've seen in the forums for a long time. At times it almost appears to border on defensiveness, but then you all show that you're above that.

Well done, all of you. May this discussion set the pattern for others that have not been so deep and rewarding (certain threads immediately pop up in my mind).

Baltimore MD
 
 
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pen, it's so unlike you to declare such a strong opinion based solely on perception rather than the solid ground of facts, which admittedly are not always easy to find. To your great credit, however, you LISTEN and seem to modify your opinion as new information comes to you.

While experience may not always be a benefit, it very seldom is detrimental. Experience is a difficult thing to measure, though. Someone who has worked the same job for 20 years may not really have 20 years' experience. They may just have one year's experience repeated 20 times. It depends so much on how much you learn and how you use what you've learned to be more effective or more productive.

Time alone does not equal experience, but most people DO gain experience, i.e., learning, to achieve a higher level of understanding and/or performance than they achieved as "young'uns."

You are still so young, and I think it's frustrating sometimes to be so young and yet so highly intelligent. Intelligence plus learning plus time plus keen observation plus a strong work ethic usually results in the development of WISDOM to some degree or other.

I think you have all the ingredients to get there. I would love to know you 20 years from now. I expect you to be very wise by then, as a result of good use of time and experience.

This discussion reminds me of why I find 20-somethings adorably cute, but to me women don't really achieve real beauty until somewhere around their mid-30s, by which time they have gained enough EXPERIENCE to develop some WISDOM about wearing the clothes, hairstyles, etc. that look best on THEM instead of on some fashion model on a magazine cover. In addition, you can SEE the wisdom in their eyes, as they have gained so much confidence and poise over time with EXPERIENCE.

You 20-somethings are adorable, but you are brimming over with POTENTIAL, which means that you have not yet ACHIEVED your potential. YOU, will, almost certainly, because of your intelligence, attitude, and inquisitive mind.

Honestly, I'm a huge fan of yours. If I weren't, I wouldn't even bother to try to change your view about us ancient ones.

Hugs & love,

Jim

South Riding VA
 
 
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Pen:

That's what I meant about extrapolations. The generalizations resulting from them. Swinging is self selecting.

I seriously agree (in general) about men. It's still amazing to me the (mature?) guys that hit on me like a child would. They act like they have learned NOTHING. What babies!!

They want to get laid and they have NO idea how to go about it. amazing. No wonder they tend to be afraid of me. ROTFLMAO. I do know how to approach ladies. wink.

hugs,

Mischief<--remember you are not your average 20-something. Neither is my gf. She regularly scares men. LOL.

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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In general, I'd say so! ROFL

South Riding VA
 
 
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Well, couldn't it be also argued that a person younger than 25 might have a lot less to lose than trying the lifestyle? If for whatever reason that person decides they don't like it, they can chalk it up to their crazy 20s and call it a day.

Wilmington DE
 
 
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Pen:

The psychological construct isn't that hard to figure out. What do YOU prefer age-wise? A peer or an older person?

That's the difference Va, Jaw, and others are making. The only way to cut your teeth, is to cut your teeth.

That said. I KNOW you have much more experience than your angelic pictures would indicate. Kiss. That's the difference.

Book knowledge allows for extrapolations. Unfortunately, one can extrapolate straight out into the bushes. Data points are needed to keep the deductions on target.

The youngsters of today are no different than their previous peers. They are just as insecure, lacking in direction, needing experience, reality checks, and the entire rite of passage we all endure. There is no way to get there other than to live through it. That's why swinging is more populated with veterans of life, not folks just out of boot camp.

kiss, smile,

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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Pen, you are still incorrect about the diversity of people in one age group vs another. There certainly is a greater proportion of gays/lesbians who are open about their sexual orientation today than in the '50s and '60s, but the relative proportions of gays/lesbians in the age group hasn't changed much. The reason you see so many fewer people our age in the gay/lesbian population is that our age group, being later in life, has attained higher rank in their careers, and higher incomes, and does not care to risk all that by "coming out."

When you are in your 20s and haven't attained any real career advancement yet, nor much in the way of assets and incomes, then you have nowhere near as much to lose by "coming out."

When we look around with our eyes open for signs of gays & lesbians in the groups we live and work with, we see them. They just won't admit it. They have too much to lose, or at least perceive that they do, because of where they are on their career ladders and the incomes they are making.

I don't dispute at all that as a child raised in the '50s and who went to high school and college in the '60s that I was raised in the straitjacket of conservative, religious parents in a conservative religious society (but not nearly as conservative and religious as 51% of today's American public!). But that didn't make us any less diverse or any less questioning. It was, after all, MY generation that was the driving force behind changes in attitudes toward race, war, women's rights, and equal opportunity. We were fighting those battles and raising public and political awareness of those issues long before YOUR generation picked up the baton. The "Me Generation" of the '80s largely stopped fighting those battles and focused inward on getting ahead themselves, rather than outward toward societal injustice and equal rights for all citizens.

As we owe our freedom to our grandparents' generation who fought and won World War I, and to our parents' generation who fought and won World War II and the Korean War and kept America and Western Europe free, so today's 20-somethings and 30-somethings owe the societal freedoms and opportunities they enjoy to our generation who struggled against social injustice, withstood beatings, and, yes, sometimes even died for those societal changes, many of which today's conservative politicians would take away from you.

What you SEE is hardly ever indicative of what IS. You are a very bright young woman - exceptionally so - and I'm sure that as you enter the workforce and get more and more exposure to us "ancients" you will adjust your thinking to fit the diversity of us old geezers that you see once you interact with sufficient numbers of us.

Jim

South Riding VA
 
 
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Penny, By the time I was your age I lived more life than you have studied. I agree with Jim, your generation is not more diverse than ours. You and your peers weren't around back then. You see only what we've grown to be, not the path that brought us to be what we are. You are seeing your peers on that path as they seek to find themselves, and that's why you think you are more diverse than us old farts. But fear not, we all thought the same of our perants generation when we were your age. As you reach our age you'll come to see that the song remains the same. I aknowledge that you are well trained and educated, but that is just book smarts, you lack the practical application that comes from "field experience". You can't learn what we were really all about from a book. If you want to know what previous generations were about, ask those that were there. I'm not saying any of this to down you, but you really need to open your mind a bit if you want to understand humanity as well as you think you do. Mebby then you could tell me who is a lunatic.

Mike

Bedford PA
 
 
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TOPIC: Can one be to young for the lifestyle