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Can one be to young for the lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 39708
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsOpen ForumCan one be to young for the lifestyle
TOPIC: Can one be to young for the lifestyle
Created by: kittinthebear The original post for this thread was deleted.
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And so it goes. Penbuttons or any of those that have commented since then did you really take the time to read my post? I believe i stated EVERYONE is allowed their opinion. I stated if I don't know much about a topic due to general lack of knowledge or experience I keep my mouth shut. I was just clarifying in the beginning of my post that it is a topic dealing with mainly younger couples. (Backing up my statement from earlier about the thread being geared towards couples.)

I apologize for not reading your profile and seeing that you are married, however i am probably going to get shit for what i am about to say. I am stating what i know from my experience.

When i was a single in the lifestyle i was in a similar situation as you. I was in a three year relationship and he was aware of my swinging. To spite this, when i moved on from that relationship and became a couple in the lifestyle i encountered things i hadn't before.

Also when posting does it really matter what sort of degree you have? I'm just curious to know why you posted that you have a BS? I don't recall insulting your intelligence.

Everyone posts from their own personal experience or knowledge concerning the topics at hand. I stated what i learned on my journeys through the lifestyle and wanted to share that with others. I thought i knew it all and was an old pro when i did this single and learned the hard way that being a couple is nothing like, and much more work then being single. I chose the wrong way to express that and i apologize.

Penbuttons, the fireworks flew not because we are redheads but because i believe us to be extremely similar. (Especially after i read your profile.)

That is all i can come up with for now. As i stated, everyone is allowed their opinion even if the opinion might not mesh with others.

Kisses

Zoe

I just wanted to add one last thing. I never stated anything that i wasn't able to back up with my own personal experience. It's not personal and i shouldn't have said penbuttons doesn't have a right to post on this thread. What i meant to do was point out the fact that no matter how much you know, and this goes for me and everyone in the world, there is always more to learn, understand, and experience. I just chose a bad way to go about it.

Mayfield PA
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this brings back an issue that I am aware of since I married a red head...

Two of them in the same room (or thread) is usually a fight!

Brownwood TX
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Zoe, Not that Penbuttons needs me to defend her. She consistently comes off as an intelligent and eloquent woman. But us matronly types like to jump in. Have you actually read her profile? She is a married women and it's quite clear she and her husband have evaluated the lifestyle and what fits in their lives together and as individuals. I was 22 when we started swinging. 25 years and evolving age groups later, I'll reiterate what I've stated before. We've seen people who didn't belong in the lifestyle at all ages.

Saint Augustine FL
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Penbuttons i realize that the post stated single but the main things that were brought up were this....

"Should a young couple first explore a more traditional relationship. Once establishing a firm mature traditional relationship with each other, only than begin to dabble in the alternative lifestyle. Would an early entrance into this world jeopardize their newer relationships."

These are all couple directed questions. Also if you really read what i wrote i stated that when i was in your situation i wasn't clued in on all the things that can come up when being in the lifestyle as a couple.

EVERYONE is allowed their opinion maybe i am just different. If i know little about a topic whether it be from lack of experience or general lack of knowledge i keep my mouth shut.

I also agree with the comment stating; no matter what the age, a new couple to the lifestyle is going to experience similar problems and situations. I would like to add however, its the maturity level and stableness of that relationship that make all the difference in the world.

HeHeHe licks_n_nibbles believe me we have couples that we are friends with who are younger (ie: my age) and they are just wonderful and fine. I never said it's not possible for a young couple to make it in the lifestyle. Honestly look at Craig and I. Our relationship started with swinging and while some wouldn't consider Craig young (I still do might i add) i call myself the baby because i am almost always the youngest at a party and might i add the first naked....LOL

Kisses

Zoe

Mayfield PA
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Because of the things associated with being younger. True or not:

More...experimental, innocent, energetic, in shape etc.

Valencia CA
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Age is a measurable number and maturity is a relative term. The Govt. set the legal age to 18 which we all will abide by for fear or incarceration. Swinging is a broad lifestyle with lots of variations like soft swap, hard swap etc. The problem with maturity is that we can only decide what it is based on what society feels it should be just like morality. It looks like we are talking about swinging based on being in a committed relationship and whether the couple is mature enough to handle the consequences of swapping as opposed to just a bunch of youngens having group sex. Each new couple at any age has to figure this out for themselves. They have to decide if they as individuals are the type of people that can handle the kind of sexual activity they are getting into. They also have to decide if their relationship can withstand the type of emotions that comes with swinging.

Valencia CA
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WOW what a topic. Its interesting to read what everyone has. I am a young person in the lifestyle. My first experience with it was when i was 19 with my then husband. (Yes, i married very young.) Ironically we did a full swap the first time we ever met a couple. IT WAS A DISASTER. I enjoyed every minute of it but my X had the jealousy issues spring forth. After that he was like most young men who pushed for the fmf setting. I didn't give in. I felt too pressured.

While we were separated i had an experience with a couple. I did the deciding there was no pressure from outside influences. This too was a disaster. They were a younger married couple. (when i say younger i mean late 20s early 30s) The wife was obviously still dealing with jealousy issues.

A few years, a divorce, and a child later i got back into the lifestyle. I was 22 and a single female. I became a staple at a lifestyle club in philly. I had a great time with it. Now of course being single i didn't have any of the couple issues to deal with.

Penbuttons in my opinion i don't think you should be making comment on this. If i read correctly this was a post about couples. Its a completely different story and different issues arise when you become a couple in the lifestyle and no matter how much you think you might know and learn from being around others i found i had no idea. I was like you when i was single. There were no problems because there wasn't anyone else to worry about other then me. That all changed when i started dating.

Now i knew i wanted to stay in the lifestyle so i dated a lot of single guys from swing sites. I never actually swang with any of the guys i dated. Main reason was because of the DRAMA. My situation was extenuating because it involved him having a jealous X but still. He wasn't really ready for it not matter how much he wanted to be.

I sometimes think younger couples get into the lifestyle for the wrong reasons. They don't know how to communicate with each other properly and think it is all just fun and games. There is so much more to it then that.

It doesn't have anything to do with when you grew up or how you grew up. Its all a matter of if you are responsible enough and mature enough to be able to handle the situations as they present themselves.

Craig and i have pretty much been in the lifestyle together since the day we met. We had our first experience at a party two weeks after we met and things went perfectly fine. Believe me i know this won't and doesn't work for most people but we were a couple that fell in love the day we met and knew we were always going to be together.

I am leery of younger couples. I prefer not to play with them. Most of our friends are Craig's age and older. I just don't want to deal with the drama that a lot of times (notice i did not say all the time) comes with playing with younger people.

I don't think i can exhaust this topic anymore then i already have. In the end everyone is allowed their preferences on the age group they like to stick with and the reasons they have for it. YES, IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE TOO YOUNG IN THE LIFESTYLE. I have experienced it and learned from it.

From a women who doesn't act her age...

Kisses

Zoe

Mayfield PA
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Normally we keep close to our age, but in the last couple years we met a nice 22/29 couple, and another 26/37 couple.

We started the lifestyle in our mid 20s and most of the people were older at the time. We had talked about it for several years before actually going to a party. Usually the reason we didn't is because we would start talking about it and get excited and then have sex together and then we weren't horny enough to think about swinging anymore.

Alta Loma CA
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"Free Love" was a norm in my high school. My clique learned and explored sex without set partners. Moving as a group of about 16 we swapped partners nightly.

I was a member of a commune during most of my college years. It was trendy then but also allowed a great deal of sexual exploration. We learned the fat girl and the anorexic girl can both be great fun if you know how to enjoy them. Denying a "sister" was just as rude as Bogarting a joint.

So I guess you can be too young since I am pretty fucked up.........lol

Phoenix AZ
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Penny, I wasn't speaking of our preferences, I was puttin an angle to why so many couples our age tend to avoid those that are real young, like in their early twenties. I know there are exceptions to every rule and that there's prolly alot of young couples that got their shit together enough to swing. It's more about emotional maturity than actual age. Wisdom comes with age, but age does not guarantee wisdom. For us personally this is a non issue. As of yet we have not encountered anyone under 25 that has any interest in people our age.

Mike

Bedford PA
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TOPIC: Can one be to young for the lifestyle