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Burnout : Swingers Discussion 43236
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TOPIC: Burnout
Created by: PolyGrl The original post for this thread was deleted.
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We're in a semi burnout right now caused by not meeting many people we feel even 50% compatible with. We're the types who enjoy the social aspect as well as the sex. We want stimulating conversation, a few common interests, humor, mental foreplay and good, if not great sex. We're getting all kinds of bored. I told Bacchus this week that I'm sick of compromising. Nobody ever holds a candle to him in my mind or libido but I need a lot closer than I'm getting or why bother? When I'm in the mood for mindless sex, we'll go to clubs. Other than that, I'm done struggling to find something to talk about, getting stuck with all or most of a tab to get sex that I'm left thinking was merely adequate. Luckily we have great friends arriving later today and have lots of fun activities planned over the next 10 days as well as already knowing they're hot. So that should relieve my funk.

Saint Augustine FL
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Burn-out -

We have been talking about this for the past few weeks (as our profile clearly shows).

Not sure if "burnout" is the right word. Speaking honestly, we both think that "boredom" is more appropriate for us.

We have been very fortunate to live a very active and diversified life to date and our varied interests/activities have always kept us feeling fresh.

Since getting involved in the lifestyle we have found that most seem to be content with following the same routines, with no desire for adding cultural or other alternative activities to the mix and... that quite frankly most evenings out are pretty predictable and limited in scope.

One just has to look at the forums to get a feel for what we are suggesting here. Regular M&G"s with the twist being the "theme" (what to wear). Club gatherings again with just different 'theme' nights. Predictable house parties with only the faces changing, hotel parties and on and on... This is not to say we do not enjoy these activities, it is that we feel that they have their time and place but are not where our main focus is.

Now for some, that may be enough to fill their tank so to speak. For us we find predictability rather boring and not at all the way we want to live out our days. When we first started, we were hoping that we would meet others that would enjoy mixing play, with the other things life has to offer but those folks seem rather few and very far between, and not for a lack of trying.

We do enjoy a dinner out and a club now and again but at our age we have been there and done that. What we were hoping we would find are people who had an interest in taking in a game, going to a show or concert, a day on the water sailing or exploring, a visit to a new town or area attraction, exciting "mystery date nights", a round of golf or... "add your fun here".

So now having talked about it, we have decided that we can alter course slightly and still have the best of all worlds. When in the mood to get sexy with others we can attend a M&G, Swing Club, House party or ?. When in the mood for enjoying the other things life has to offer we will just do as we have always done, play hard. We are now just a bit more realistic that the two do not go hand in hand as much as we would have hoped but with luck, over time we perhaps can build a small circle of friends that also have the same desire for spending "quality and exciting times together" both recreationally and sexually... That to us is a "lifestyle" we find attractive and one we are interested in sharing with others rather than the "Limited Lifestyle" we have so far experienced in our first few years...

San Diego CA
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absolutely happens.We take mini breaks all the time. mostly when we tire of meeting people.It seems that quite a few think that you meet that you must advance to the next stage. We tend to look for different then the norm when playing. We want people who do not look for a setting to be preprogramed. Such as meet us at a hotel , have small talk for an hour then to the hotel bed or come to the house condo.To us thats not different or daring creative sex. We have been so fortunate that we actually have a great time what ever we do with each other.Its not that important to have sex with with those we meet We self impose the mini breaks to give us more time for us.

Sarasota FL
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Sometimes, when we're the most burnt out it gets better

Saint Augustine FL
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I'm not burnt out. I'm refined. I don't bite on just any situation, anymore. I don't mind meeting folks. Why?

I consider myself one step closer to finding some one special. When I find those rare some ones. (about every 2-3 years) I am extremely happy, excited, sexually motivated.

I am very relaxed around nudity, sex, swingers, BDSM folks and others. Because I'm somewhat experienced I know what I want. I rarely settle.

What helps with this process? I'm not all about sex. It's the pleasure of giving pleasure. Massages, hanging in the hot tub, relaxing by the fire, connecting intellectually.

It only took 6 months for my last gf to find me. But, it's taken 4 years for her to grow up. It's been well work the wait.

I never thought I would find a dominant. Out of the blue one night at a swing club, this guy grabs me. That started the ride of my life. Learned tons.

"Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens."

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
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I'll be honest, we still get excited whenever we get email :) We've only met a few couples yet so I guess everything is still new to us.

Lisa

Wilmington DE
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I agree with Jaidawn...the newness has worn off and it is not the same excitement for me. (After 6 years of being in this lifestyle)

I am not sure if my husband feels the same, he will have to write his opinion.

The clubs are old hat, the house parties are usually cliquish, and the group we hang with have their "SPECIAL" friends they hang with.

BUT on the other side of the coin...once you are in this lifestyle you CAN NOT go back to vanilla. To go to the corner bar, pub lounge is not the same....as I love the sexy outfits I wear and do love the flirting....and again I do not do as much flirting as I used to.

I think we all go through the same feelings...perhaps a new "LIFESTYLE" will surface that will take us to the next step......

Las Vegas NV
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We are not as excited about the lifestyle as we were in the beginning. That is because we are having a hard time finding a connection. If we had at least one couple that we connected with and could play with on a regular basis, I think we would get butterflies and all that. Funny how not playing for over a year can change your outlook on the lifestyle.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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<blows BIG kisses @ Annie>

Saint Augustine FL
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<sighs, I wish Bad Annie would reconsider a first date with us>

Saint Augustine FL
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TOPIC: Burnout