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Abusive emails! : Swingers Discussion 212021101
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TOPIC: Abusive emails!
Created by: Lancer525
Original Starting post for this thread:
I would really like to get something off my chest...

I feel as if I've been attacked over my profile and a response to an email, and am very angry about it...

I've gone to a great deal of trouble to make my profile as accurate and honest as possible, mostly because I know the reputation that "single males" have in the lifestyle. I do not want to take any chances in misrepresenting myself, and I try to play by the rules.

I recently recieved an inquiry from another user. I read their profile, and what they had written in it was the opposite of what they were telling me in their email. I am listed as bi-curious, because that is what I am. I am interested in contact with both genders, and want to experience more in my play time.

This other person's profile not only listed that minimal contact with men was important to them, but that the male was listed as straight. Here is where it gets problematic: He said in his email that we were "exactly alike", and according to his profile, we are nothing alike.

When I said that I had read their profile, and didn't think we were a good fit because he was listed as straight and I am listed as bi-curious, he came back with a hugely hateful, attacking, and insulting response, calling me names, and implying that I was stupid for being honest.

I think this sort of thing should never be permitted on a site like this, especially since solo males are so disliked. Everywhere you read on these forums, people say over and over again to be honest in your profile, to not contact people who don't have the same interests you do, to not contact people who clearly say they're not interested in things you are.

For me to be insulted, to be called an "asshole" among other things, is totally unacceptable, and I would like to know what action be taken against this user.

I believe that the operators of this site have the obligation to the honest, paying members on it, to protect them from the abusive ones out there. I have been a paying member of this site off and on since 2005, and I have taken enough abuse from the homophobes and the close-minded.

I am not going to stand idly by and be abused for being honest. What is the best way to take action to bring this to the attention of the operators, in order for them to do something about this?

Don't just tell me to ignore them, because that only enables their abusive conduct, and does not punish the guilty party. We solo males have it tough enough without having to be abused and called names all the time.

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remember that people who behave in such ways are revealing much about themselves.

so true. you can learn alot from emails and the forum from how people respond.

Philadelphia PA
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(2071 posts)
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I can't even begin to tell you how many couples who say we are "exactly like them" have contacted us where several of the following are true:

- They are 25+ years older - Their pictures are primarily of them standing amongst the junk in their yard in their dirty wifebeater shirts and unwashed hair, or posing with nothing but guns and dead animals. - The guy is bi - They are looking for girl-girl only (or even guy-guy only) - They refuse to use condoms - Their profile looks like it was written by a drunk orangutan pounding on a typewriter.

So basically someone just shot off an email without having read your profile. While I'm never nasty to people like this, we had one couple who decided we weren't hot enough for them reply with "Why are you writing to us? We clearly said we wanted attractive people. If I wanted to sleep with a heifer I would go to a farm."

I'm not making that up. While it was insulting, remember that people who behave in such ways are revealing much about themselves.

I guess I don't know what you want management to do... lecture them on proper etiquette? The people are jerks and you know all you need to know. I might have replied to that email with something to the effect of "I'm sorry, you initially contacted me stating we were 'exactly alike'. So, I went along with that concept. If there's been a misunderstanding there is no reason to be abusive and rude. Good luck finding what you're looking for, but perhaps you should read people's profiles more carefully before stating they are 'exactly alike'."

Just let it go. I'm telling you. Let it go.

Chesapeake VA
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(19810 posts)
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lancer, alot of people lie in their profiles. some men that used to be listed as bi or bi curious are now listed as straight, probably because they didnt get the response they wanted by being honest. i think it is great that you are being honest. but you really should just report them or block them. by not just letting it go, it reflects badly on you. its just better to move on. you will run into some great people here, and some assholes too.

Philadelphia PA
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Melvin - where did you get your big boy pants? I have a pair but they are too big for me now?

Lancer - let it go, it's just the internet and people are much bolder (and more stupid). BLOCK - it does a body good!

Jacksonville FL
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Walks in glances at Lancer winks, runs thumb from the top, to the tip of her nose and grins. Call me big boy. I'll beat them up 4u. Blows kiss!

Rumson NJ
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What do you want done specifically ? A call to arms and everyone email them and demand apologies for you?

Maybe we can all type .....

You meany fuckers shouldn't email back nasty replays.

Sorry they hurt your feelings but you should move on .

Buford GA
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(3898 posts)
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As I said, you can report them if you want to. The only thing they will do is send a note to them telling them to be nice. Personally I wouldn't give a stranger, on the internet, that much power over me but to each their own.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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(17958 posts)
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You can email customer service and voice your complaint. They can access the email and see the content. I have no idea what if anything they will do but it's worth a shot.

Youngstown OH
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Uh oh.

Belle Chasse LA
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"Block them and move on" is NOT an acceptable option.

Why should I be subjected to abuse and then meekly take it? I don't think you would let it slide if someone said to your face what was said to me in the email. How is it any different? If I had said something to someone else like what was said to me, I would expect that my account would be deleted.

Why are we not going to hold people accountable for their behavior?

Augusta GA
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(5 posts)
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TOPIC: Abusive emails!