As far as a straight single male, and a couple with a straight male half, the goal sexually is usually to please the woman. This is a fantasy of completely pleasing your loved one brings pleasure to the spouse. But make no bones about it the best way to get left in the dust is to treat the significant other like he is insignificant. And when the role is reversed and it is a FMF the goal if both woman are straight is usually to please the man. For couples this lifestyle is about many things that please both and the priority can shift as the fantasy changes. What the couple is trying to get across to the single male is that it is not about them. Many single males have a hard time accepting their role for what it is. A non emotional sexual connection, a human dildo if you will. Sorry if this seems unfair, but it is what it is, enjoy it for that. Single women most times understand this and prefer to be no emotional connections.

And also, supporting the statement that I repeated see on here and other sites, "It's all about the women." Both your attitudes oppose that statement, at least in this thread." And you are absolutely correct, it is NOT all about me. We did not make it to 18 years of marriage with it being all about either myself or Jay, it is about US. So what you say is true fact in regard to how we roll. How others roll is completely their business. So for the record where lost_j1 is concerned it is NOT all about the woman. I think this is why men walk away having enjoyed our time so much.......I'm not there just to GET fucked, I am there to share an experience with him where he receives as much pleasure as I myself do.

I know we do not have the notion or belief that this is all for the women. My husband and I are in this for the joint adventure. If the LS was ALL ABOUT ME, I would quickly get bored.

"It's all about the women." ================= I am sorry, and I know this is not the political forum, but when I hear this I immediately think of a politician who will say anything to get what he wants. Of course with the single straight male it is 'All about the women' duhhhhhhh. I am full agreement with Shelly, and SKE, for couples swinging is about BOTH I repeat BOTH partners. That can take many forms it may be the male likes to watch, it may be the female likes to watch, it may be like Shelly's where each partner goes after what they want and get it. It is not fair or logical for an outsider to make a assumption of another parties arrangement and call them selfish. The only selfish ones are those that are cheating on their partners and not allowing them the benefit of the same.

mrick, I am not trying to be argumentative and I am not standing up for ske either, as a grown man he stands up for himself. However I completely disagree with you. And again, you have every right to your opinion of course. But your posts give this impression to me: If the husband wants to get strange he is somehow selfish and should always want to put his wife before his own pleasure. And we all swing our own way. However, Jay and I just simply do not see it that way. We may be selfish in that regard, I don't know. But we both recognize the fact that we both like strange. I recognize the fact that just like I myself enjoy playing with others as does my husband...and I recognize the fact that although it is not politcally correct for a man to say hey, I like getting fucked too my husband DOES indeed like strange. I just do not think it polite of you to insinuate that he is somehow "selfish" because he says that a single male does not bring to the table what a couple does...because he simply does not. When I meet up with single men I meet them alone and usually Jay parties on his own. Anyways, that is just my opinion.

"Well said, by a man more interested in fulfilling his own needs rather than his partner." Like ske said, I absolutely also disagree with this. And this is from the wife. I agree, some people like MFMs. And ladys like my sister PG love the experience of the 2 men. But I am the first to admit the straight truth. Neither Jay or I are voyeur or exhibitionist. And we both like playing with our food. Just like I like strange cock he likes strange pussy. I do not think its fair to say that just because a man likes fucking strange like his wife does he is putting HIS needs before hers. Jay is just honest. We are so scared of coming across as "selfish". Nope, just honest. I do not like couples much. We do play with them when we find the rare couple that has it together...but that is not often. But I do not think its fair to say that because a husband says "hey, I like getting mine like you like getting yours" he is selfish. Wrong answer. He is just honest. ske, I'm with you. And this is from a woman who's preferred play partners are single men.

"When we play with a single male my husband doesn't go "unfulfilled" he chooses to share me with a single male and there is rarely a time when I'm not touching and playing with them both at the same time. No reason for anyone to go unfulfilled, lol I can outlast both of them." I'll give you that. I love watching my wife be happy and in our experiences with single guys, I have enjoyed my wife as well. I have enjoyed all of our interludes with single guys. What I was trying to get at was that with a single guy, there is a lot more for my wife than me. As much as I love watching, a single guy does not offer as much for me as for Mrs SKE. My post as not intended to begrudge single guys. Like I said; we have enjoyed them them ourselves - more often than couples so far. Since I had a LOT more sexual experience than my wife before we met (she was a virgin), I have been very happy to make sure that she has been able to experience as much as she wants/needs. But I would have more fun playing with another woman than watching my wife with another guy.

"Well said, by a man more interested in fulfilling his own needs rather than his partner."

You could not be any further from the truth about me.

" A single man typically only offers something to only one in a couple, leaving the male of the couple unfulfilled. This means that for the most part, a single make doesn't have a lot to offer a couple."

When we play with a single male my husband doesn't go "unfulfilled" he chooses to share me with a single male and there is rarely a time when I'm not touching and playing with them both at the same time. No reason for anyone to go unfulfilled, lol I can outlast both of them.

PG

My $0.02 First off, we do play with singles. But I don't want to open the floodgates for a bazillion emails. It may just be an issues of semantics, but I don't believe that single men are discriminated against. The problems are: 1) The law of supply and demand: there seem to be a LOT more readily available single guys (especially when compared to single women). A single man typically only offers something to only one in a couple, leaving the male of the couple unfulfilled. This means that for the most part, a single make doesn't have a lot to offer a couple. 2) Somewhat in conjunction with #1, a large percentage of the females in the lifestyle (not all of course) are bi/bi-curious, which means they are looking for women. This further diminishes the need for a single guy (or a coupled guy, but I digress). 3) Our experiences so far with single guys is that we have met more flakey/rude/disrespectful single guys than appealing ones. I am NOT saying that all single guys are this way (we have been lucky to find a couple of good ones), things are just generally not in your favor. This doesn't help the cause of the single guy. I admit it: I would hate to be a single guy in this lifestyle. You don't have it easy. If I were to offer advice to single guys, it would be this: A) Be polite, respectful, and patient. This is the single largest point that has won single guys over with not only us, but with a friend I was talking to earlier today (who swore they would never hook up with a single guy) B) Learn how to write. Some of the worst profiles I see are single guys. Also, some of the worst messages we get are from single guys. I actually had a couple of other things, but I just found out I need to be somewhere 15 minutes ago - YIKES!