Start off using your fingers untill she gets comfortable. Than buy some differant size butt plugs and uses lots and lots of lube. She has to relax and you have to be patient, very patient. Don't rush it! It will be very rewarding for both of you when you do it together.

Rdy2......

Everyone's anus is made the same. They all will stretch. We've seen porn with anal DP! Those women's anus aren't any different than anyone else's. Simply saying there's nothing you can do about it is incorrect. With patience and relaxation anyone can do it without it hurting. #1 is patience. Plan on it taking up to 1hr for the first time. #2 go to the adult store and get dildos in various sizes ranging from the size of your finger to the size of your penis. #3 Relax. She must be able to be comfortable and totally relax herself (and her anus). This is where most have the problem. If you can't get past here, it'll always be painful. #4 LUBE LUBE and LUBE #5 Slowly work your way from your finger up to your penis. Perhaps not even in the same session. (This is a good time to practice foreplay! It helps with #3) If there's any pain, slow down and go to a smaller size.

pfc-

It may just be that anal sex is not appropriate for you two. I am blessed to have a wide circle of swing friends, and they all like different things. Even though I may enjoy certain activities, I don't go there if my partner(s) at the time doesn't. If anal sex hurts your partner, and she doesn't like it, don't do it.