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jealousy how do you get past it : Swingers Discussion 65331
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TOPIC: jealousy how do you get past it
Created by: bbdragonmoon
Original Starting post for this thread:
ok guys, i knwo a female in the guys forums, but i honestly have a question i need your help with. I have beenin the lifestyle for the past 11 years and my b/f is wantign to get into it as well. He has never had any experiance in this at all. He has thought about the fact of seeing me with another guy fucking me and it tends to bother him a lot by just the thought of it. He is wantignadn tryign to fidn a way to get past it all, so that i have the chance at the same pleasures that i want to give him with another female. It isn't something that i have to have, another guy, but he thinks that it is depriveing me by me not being able to. So i guess my real question here is this: How does he get past the jealousy issue with it all? I haven't had to deal with that on my part or with my exhubby's wither when we were in this together so. i need help, please.

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JEALOUSY IS A USELESS EMOTION!

Name one good thing that comes from it and I will name one good reason for me to try it on for size.

Either you trust them or you don't. It is really that simple!

Vette and Precious

Waco TX
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My first swinging experience was with a woman i'd lost affection for but was "stuck" with. I looked forward to that experience and had no reservations. When I started swinging with my current wife, I was worried I might become jealous, but I was wrong. I was highly turned on by the experience. He needs to get over his jealousy. It's not something you can't learn to control. It just takes a higher understanding of one's self. Remember that jealousy stems from insecurity. Pick a male that won't threaten him in any way i.e. looks, finances, penis size or whatever. That could be a good way to test waters and make sure it isn't his best friend lol. He is obviously open to the prospect and he seems to care about your needs, or at least what he perceive to be "your needs". Good luck to the both of you.

Canonsburg PA
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Thank you all for you advice in this, it is a bit funny that i have goten more responces on this from the guys than i have from the ladies on how to handel it all. But like i said i could care less if i have another man or not, it make no difference to me, i am perfectly happy with him and not really desireing any other man to be a part of it. Yes i am bi sexual so the other female thign i am really wanting that is for sure, and i am willign to give that to him not only for him but for me as well. But ialso agree adn ahve thoguth abotu the whole of the insecurties thing and have to get to the bottom of all of that as well, we are workign on it and ia lso agree that only time will really make a difference with it all and al ot of talking this is so very ture. thank yo all very much for you responces.

Gainesville FL
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There's only one real cure for jealousy, and that's security. Jealousy arises from the worry that someone else is getting something that you aren't, or worse yet, that they'll get the upper hand on the situation and take something away from you, as in a partner or relationship.

The only things that can cure jealousy are time, comfort and security. If this is a passing relationship between you and your boy friend, there's a very good chance he won't overcome it. If it's a longer term relationship, in time, with some extra effort on your part to reduce his fears, he has a chance to overcome it. Find out what he's most insecure about, relationship wise, and try to focus on eliminating or reducing his doubts and worries in those areas.

Good luck, you've got a big task on your hands...

Willingboro NJ
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you have asked an extremely difficult question.

my thoughts are that if just the thought of you being with another guy bothers him i dont think he will get past it.

if sexual situations involving others do not interest him then again i dont think he will get past it.

the key here is to talk, talk, talk about sex and fantasies. its not that you love another person you just want to experience all life and sex has to offer. its all about pleasure of the body and mind.

Niagara Falls NY
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ok guys, i knwo a female in the guys forums, but i honestly have a question i need your help with. I have beenin the lifestyle for the past 11 years and my b/f is wantign to get into it as well. He has never had any experiance in this at all. He has thought about the fact of seeing me with another guy fucking me and it tends to bother him a lot by just the thought of it. He is wantignadn tryign to fidn a way to get past it all, so that i have the chance at the same pleasures that i want to give him with another female. It isn't something that i have to have, another guy, but he thinks that it is depriveing me by me not being able to. So i guess my real question here is this: How does he get past the jealousy issue with it all? I haven't had to deal with that on my part or with my exhubby's wither when we were in this together so. i need help, please.

Gainesville FL
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(90 posts)
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TOPIC: jealousy how do you get past it