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ed help post here : Swingers Discussion 2020851021
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I've found that a littel weed(420) is a great helper, it relaxes you much in the same way a few drinks will, but has the bonus effect of making me really horny.

Chicago IL
 
 
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"Being in front of any kind of audience - especially another guy - is not something everyone can maintain their woody with"

I must be weird. You hear about "stage fright" all the time. But there is nothing that gets me going more, than when a husband is present and watching. 

If a guy can maintain an erection with his wife but not with others around, the problem is purely mental. Over-thinking things or being over anxious most likely is the problem. The solution is to relax and not worry about anything except letting nature take its course, but that's sometimes easier said than done. 

Belle Chasse LA
 
 
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"There are also people who think they could do porn until they actually try it"

MOST men cannot do porn for this reason unless you pump them full of Viagra. When they shoot porn it's not like they just hand you a hot girl and say "have fun... we'll be over there watching quietly".

I remember Jenna Jameson saying that whenever a guy brags to her about how he'd be such an awesome porn star, she'd say "OK - whip it out. Let's see your boner. Right now. Come on." Under such circumstances she said maybe "one out of 200 guys" can do it, and keep it for the 2-5 hours it takes to shoot a scene.

While being a swinger is not quite the same, it can mentally REALLY be different from "normal" sex. Being in front of any kind of audience - especially another guy - is not something everyone can maintain their woody with. I struggled with this to some extent early in our swinging career, and of course if it starts-a-failin', you get anxious about it, which only makes it worse. But if the other girl and I were alone in a room, all was well.

I can't exactly explain to you how to "get over it", but that's really what it comes down to. You need to banish your anxiety, because ultimately, that's what's doing it.

Chesapeake VA
 
 
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ED in the swing circles is quite common. It is not though in my opinion, indicative of the actual ED as in medical condition. I believe in my heart of hearts, that mostly, it is due to stage fright. Perhaps even over stimulation, over excitement, over thinking of, what if? I know, that had I been a man, chances are fairly good that I'd be limp most of the time, which would create a catch 22 situation. Which does not relate to a physical handicap but more of getting yourself into a no out situation out of the psychological wound that you inflicted on yourself, which you wont let heal.

I used to get angry, frustrated with men to whom I was attracted but couldn't perform. Until I met a guy that actually broke down and wept like a baby when things didn't work out. I found it actually humbling. I took him by the hand and actually dressed him, we sat down and started talking. Some of the things that he said to me, left a huge impact; "Women can't understand how frustrating, how horrible, how useless, how hollow it makes a man feel when he is unable to be what she envisions him to be." I will never forget our conversation. It helped me understand men better, it humbled me.

I have no pearls of wisdom for anyone, I just wanted to share this. I wish that viagra or cialis could help all, but apparently that is not always the answer.

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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yeah, i guess i was considering all the other forums and ideas as far as the ED thing goes, but you're right, i shouldn't assume he has been thru those.

Orlando FL
 
 
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I didn't say he wasn't cut out for it. I said it was something to consider. There are also people who think they could do porn until they actually try it and find they are not able to do it in front of other people so it doesn't work for them. That's all I'm saying.

Orlando FL
 
 
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Ana, also be aware that there are many different ED meds out there and they do the job differently. Something besides Viagra may work better for you. It could be an expensive experiment, but worth it if you find one that puts the magic back in your wand, don't you think? ;-)

Sheboygan Falls WI
 
 
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Try fucking hot chicks.

Whitehouse Station NJ
 
 
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ana2, not to throw a wet blanket on the party, but... the fact is, not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle. just something to consider.

Orlando FL
 
 
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Ana, I have had the same issue. At home it could go for hours but sometimes not as well with others. Condom use is frequently the culprit, trying to practice that at home. Sometimes just not as comfortable with ALL couples. I think to much also.....going to try Tantric exercises

Key West FL
 
 
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TOPIC: ed help post here